Is Mom's Dementia Bad Enough for Her to Be Ready for Asssisted Living?

Your mother is more than ready to go into some form of assisted living, where the effects of her disease on her physical health will be minimized. Most 'memory units' are licensed as assisted living, and many are part of a larger facility that includes various levels of assisted living.

Since she has diabetes, she needs a nurse to manage her blood tests and insulin. She needs her diet to be monitored. She needs assistance and encouragement with bathing and dressing. She also needs someone who is trained in speaking and listening to people with memory and speech disorders.

Carrying a purse for women of her generation is imperative. But it does not have to contain anything valuable. Give her a wallet, maybe with fake credit cards, and lots of change; add a set of blank keys of various sizes, kleenex, a make up bag with lipstick and compact, a pen and paper, and maybe include some photos. Put up a big bulletin board and post greeting cards and family photos. Ask all her friends to send a card for the board.

Make sure you take familiar objects to her room, such as a coverlet, pillows, photographs (copies only!), a reclining chair, and some personal items. Don't take anything that you cannot afford to have disappear. After the initial days, tell her that she has lived there for a long time if she asks. The idea is to make her environment familiar and safe.

Don't tell her she is moving until the day she moves. It will cause her anxiety, and there is no point in makes her more frightened than she already is. Remember to take care of you - her best asset!