There are disagreements to where we should scatter my Mum's ashes. Can I do anything to stop my sister from moving forward?

1 answer | Last updated: Sep 16, 2016
A fellow caregiver asked...

I am so upset that my sister wants to take my Mum's ashes abroad and scatter. Can I do anything to stop her or at least have some here with me?

Expert Answers

Rebekah Peoples, CFSP, CPC, Is a licensed funeral director and embalmer. She is passionate about serving others and believes that giving clients honest, accurate information empowers them to create tributes and services that are meaningful and appropriate. Her tips about funerals and life can be found at

Unfortunately disagreements over a person's ashes and what to do with them has become somewhat common. It sounds like you've already spoken to her about this and have not gotten anywhere. Is there another family member or family friend that you could get to either be present when you bring it up again, or who could speak to her without you being there? It has to be someone she respects or she won't listen.

Did you suggest to her that you'd be content with just a portion of the ashes? What if you suggested that you would scatter your portion somewhere here that was significant to your Mum and on which you could both agree? If you suggest a compromise, she may be receptive.

If all else fails and you feel you need to speak to an attorney, many offer an initial consultation free of charge, but hopefully you can reach an amicable agreement without doing that.