Quick summary
If you're the trustee of a parent's or other family member's estate, it will fall to you to distribute his assets and wrap up his affairs. Depending on the size of the estate, this can be a lengthy process that can take anywhere from six months to two years and involves a lot of work. But think of it as an indication of the person's trust in you: He knew you would handle his estate the way he desired.
When to begin
The process doesn't have to start immediately following a death, says Jennifer H. Friedman, a trusts and estates attorney in Menlo Park, California. Give yourself time to grieve and be with family. "You don't need to run from the funeral home to the attorney's office," says Friedman. "This is an extremely emotional time. Usually, people are overwhelmed when they walk in my office. Hopefully, they'll be less overwhelmed when they leave."
If possible, you'll want to see a trusts and estates attorney within a month of the death. Ideally, this will be the same attorney who drafted the will and established his revocable living trust. "The sooner you get started, the sooner it's over," Friedman says. And she finds that some people like having tasks to do -- it helps them cope with their loss.
my daughter great grandma just pass, but her uncle Trey, is not coming up with the will grandma left to him. what can we and the rest of the family do?
P.S. Real estate property was specified in the revocable Trust, but mother's individual, specific bank accounts and savings instruments were not. This was the reason given for requiring an actual in-bank visit by our fragile and ill mother. One "online banking" entity would speak to my sister or me if our mother was on an extension phone and passed the "secret questions" screening--difficult to arrange because she was in a skilled nursing facility with no privacy. But then the followup calls with one of us and without mother were total "black holes," and we got nowhere with the promises that had been made by the bank.
My mother had a few savings instruments with banks and other entities in the name of her revocable Trust. Fortunately we were able to have her do a letter at one bank to turn over the administration of one of these Trust accounts to my sister and me so that the income to the Trust could be passed through to her checking account, which we were both on. Otherwise paying for some of her care the last two years would have necessarily come out of our personal cash flow. Banks don't do notarization, and it was difficult to get her to a notary for this transaction. The other bank insisted she had to come to the bank to withdraw the money. That wasn't possible, and our documented status as Successor Trustees and mother's pour-over will didn't help us with these other entities until she passed away. A real surprise was the need to show her Health Care Power of Attorney/Living Will at the mortuary.
My husband is dying from brain cancer, is there anything I need to know of what to do when he passes?
Prayers Becquie
Gifts to Caregivers having a maximum amount
This article helps alot, when you just don't know where to begin whatever your situation may be
Hi 'shirpoindexter', Thanks for your questions. One great place to ask it is in our Ask & Answer section: http://www.caring.com/ask. You can search and see if this question has already been answered by one of our other community members or you may post your question just by clicking "post your own question." Hope that helps. -- Sho | Community Manager
Question: What if you are married and your husband put a son outside your marriage A Power of Attorney? Does a living wife have any say so over anything. For instance, my husband is dying and the kids from a previous marriage don't communicate, then what are my legal options, if any.
Providing permission to grieve ahead of legal issues is wonderful. I tend to be a person that thinks it all has to happen NOW. Knowing ahead of time that I have a few weeks to 'get it together' will be helpful when the time comes.
My parents' car is registered in FL as they were residents there. Within the past year my Dad's Alzheimer's has gotten so bad he can no longer drive. My Mother has terminal cancer with less than 6 months to live. We brought them back to NH and are thinking of registering their car here in NH. Hoping to save the hassle of trying to sell it after Mom passes, we wanted to do that now. How complicated is it if there is still a lien on the car? Can it be registered in another family member's name. What other difficulties will there be with selling the car after she passes away?
Hi Luck, Thanks for your comment. As for your question, one great place to ask it is in our Ask & Answer section: http://www.caring.com/ask. If you'd like to post your question you can click "post your own question." Hope that helps. -- Emily | Community Manager
I live in the state of Maryland and have taken of my mother for over 20 years while she had her health, mind, and body but for these last five years while being diagnosed with Alzheimer's disorder I have remained with her and since she is now in her last stages of her disease she can no longer walk and is bed ladened. My question is that I have other brothers and sisters; would my siblings (they have been no help to me in her care) be able to get equal share of my mother's estate. I need to plan my position here at my home because I have witnessed my siblings saying to me negative comments on me personally will have to "'buy everyone out" in order to stay in one of my mother's 2 homes and any assets will be devided equally. Is this correct in their thinking or am I only subject to what the law would be; remember; my bothers have not helped me at all with care of my mom.
This article provided me with an idea of what I'll have to do when my parents die as I am the Trustee of their estate. It can all be so overwhelming, but this article has provided a time line of sorts and relieved a good bit of anxiety over the future.
My mum is 86 she has vascular dementia and has lived with me and my husband for the last 15 months. She has surprised everyone including all the medical people that she has survived so long and has endured so much since her diagnosis 2 years ago on Christmas Eve. She is now reaching the end of her life and is on a morphine syringe driver 24/7. She has been on it for 2 weeks now and has not eaten or drank anything in that time and although there is nothing left of her she is still surviving. She is an amazing lady. I hope she is relieved of all her distress soon and goes into a deep sleep.
One of the best things a person can do is have an updated, active will. These documents are so crucial to any individual's end-of-life plan, as they ensure that all property is handled in a way that matches your loved one's wishes. Homes, cars, furnishings, bank accounts - these all need to be handled, and having an up-to-date will will make this process both easier on the family and more in-line with your wishes.
If the Car is your mothers name and she passes, Still have a payment. Can I put the car in my name and the loan?