Latanak
Caring for my mom Member since August 23, 2010I am a 51 year old married woman, mother of 3 with 2 grandchildren. My mother has lived with me for over 22 years in 4 different houses. The last 5-6 years she has had declining health. Started with diabetes, then 2007 double bypass, finally recovers from that mostly-never drove again and has had to use a walker most of the time- then she gets pancreatitis, gall bladder removed, respiratory failure, kidney problems, pacemaker put in and blood infection and that was just the month of Sept 2008. She spent another 2 months in rehab then came home. LUCKILY 10 years ago I made her buy long term care insurance. So I have had a aide up until last June when her benefits were running out. June she is back in hospital with double hernia surgery, which then goes to respiritory failure, heart attack, kidney failure and so on and so on and so on. I tried policing her eating for a couple of years then gave up cause she chose not to take care of herself...again. So she gets sick again and she doesn't get sick "a little bit". So she has been home now for a little over a month. every night I have to get up and help her go to the bathroom (bedside comode) when the "doorbell" rings. System we worked out since our bedroom is on the other side of the house. I don't sleep....waiting for it, wondering if I missed it, or can't get back to sleep cause I am 51 and the whole meopause thing has my sleep iffy anyway. My husband and I do all we can for her, financial, emotional, health support and she complains mostly behind our backs--for my kids whole lives & they are 32, 27 and 20--to them or her aide or my mother-in-law or my best friends mom cause those are the only other people she ever sees. I am so SICK of this. While my brother 2000 miles away is the prince who calls twice a year and when he has come out here...can do no worng. He doesn't have money to take care of himself let alone her but I am so ready to send her to Arizona and let him have the rest of her life cause this is killing me now...physically, emotionally I am stressed out and so is my husband. Long intro...but when I log on and vent you can have some basis to go on.