ElaineS
Caring for my dad Member since December 10, 2010I take care of my dad. My dad, Victor, is 90 years old and has had dementia for about 12-15 years. He has lived here in Indio, CA, with my husband, Jim and I for 1 ½ years. He has no idea what city he lives in or even who my husband of 21 years is or who I am other than his caregiver. Before that I would drive 105 miles to stay at his house in Anaheim on Monday morning and back home on Saturday morning that is until we finally realized dad could no longer live alone even just for 2 nights a week. I became dad's caregiver after my mother died. She kept telling us "something is not right with your father", but we thought it was "senility"; just old age. I had never heard of dementia, let alone 80 different kinds of dementia. We are very lucky in that dad was a WWII ex-POW and has 100% VA benefits. This is keeping us afloat financially since I cannot work and take care of him 24/7. I've also been lucky in that dad is not aggressive or combative. He would get very upset with himself when he knew something was wrong and he couldn't remember things. He would get very frustrated. Dad is past that now. We have gone through many stages. Something is new almost daily. Today I missed him after he was in the bathroom for about 5 minutes and found him in bed with all his clothes on; it was 4:30 p.m. Dad is a big guy, 230 pounds with bad knees and back. He refuses to use a walker or even to put his hand on my shoulder to steady him. He is a very proud man. I've learned to separate myself. My dad is not really my dad anymore; he is a very dear man that I take care of. I miss my dad.