I have a question maybe someone can help me with. Mom is 85. She suffered a stroke in January. I have been staying with her ever since because she cannot be alone. I can get away for a few hours a day, however, but that’s it. I am married. I cannot go home at night, so for my spouse, I guess it’s just too bad for him. I have a brother. He is retired and married. We each live ...
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I have a question maybe someone can help me with. Mom is 85. She suffered a stroke in January. I have been staying with her ever since because she cannot be alone. I can get away for a few hours a day, however, but that’s it. I am married. I cannot go home at night, so for my spouse, I guess it’s just too bad for him. I have a brother. He is retired and married. We each live within 10-12 miles from mom. I want to tell (not ask) my brother it is his turn to spend a week at mom’s place, stay the night, so I can get some relief and spend some time at my own home with my husband again, before I go totally insane. I doubt he would agree to this because I’m almost certain his spouse would object and it would cause a dispute that I’d end up feeling like a trouble maker over. For me, there is no relief in sight and I cannot financially keep doing this either. It’s been over 4 months without a break. We both love our mom, but why is it my life gets put on the backburner and my finances suffer while my brother gets away from anything that inconveniences him so he can stay home and plant flowers and water the lawn all day? Is that right? Or am I delusional? Another thing, mom is a hermit, she’s had some form of mental illness all her life she’s never dealt with, refuses to stay at my home with my husband around, and will not go to my brothers either…she just wants to stay home. My own problems are mounting, but no one knows that. I keep it inside. I don’t tell anyone. I don’t like to complain. I just keep quiet. Every day I feel like an elephant is sitting on my chest. I’m tired physically and emotionally and feel like throwing in the towel, but can’t.