Caring for a Spouse

My husband had Alz. he also walked stooped over. I could not get him to stand up and walk, I also decided it was fear of falling. Though at that time he had not fallen that i knew of. When I would have him stand straight. He would say "watch it" then would go back to the same position. Hugs.

Does he use any form of walking aid? My DH fell and broke his hip 18 months ago (he is 76 now) and left hospital with a zimmer frame. I bought him a 3-wheeled shopper but it was a disaster. It wasn't high enough and he walked bent right over as if pushing a heavy trolley, rather that upright like pushing a pram. Now he uses a stick and walks a lot straighter, although he is terrified of falling. Most of the time he holds onto my shoulder, which is a bit difficult when I have my 100-y-o father hanging on to my other arm!! I can assure you it looks quite comical LOL. DH's balance is going, so he has reason to be scared of falling, and 'furniture walks' when in the house. He has Vascular dementia and alz mixed, but would definitely say that it is the dementia causing his walking problems. Sorry, I didn't help you much did I??? L/C

That is a lot of meds.
For you with the Fibro. and R/A You might try what a lot around me are doing and says it helps. Get off all wheat, sugar, Honey, Diary,Pork, cured meats, vinegar, alcohol soy gluten, soy.

AThe only fruit listed is apples, grapefruit, lemons,
No white rice except basmati. you can have red potatoes, yogurt. they recommend Greek God ou can have all grains, vegetables. peas beans, legumes. all meats and fowl , all game birds, tuna , all nuts and seeds except peanuts and cashews. all fish, eggs, spices, olive oil, lemon juice. I think I covered most of it. They are all free from pain. They seem to do really good. This program came from a Family healing center in Florida.

I try and eat as healthy as I can. I have found that coconut milk is wonderful for my GERD (Severe acid reflex) since it is alkaline instead of causing more acid like milk does. I also eat a lot of nuts and have cut out as much sugar as possible. I also do not eat red meat! I appreciate your comments but they do not address the emotional toll my husband's health has taken on me.

OH MY,That is a rant. I will say I hope you are never in the same place your fil is in. Some one will have to care for you.

Stand back and read what your wrote and then write your answer to the person that wrote this.

A person who has had a stroke is almost as bad as Alz. They need help, compassion, Love, understanding, I am not judging or comdeming. only stating facts. Hugs and prayers coming your way. God Can help you. Lean on Him.

Yes it is, I am damn near depressed because of this situation. And I have read it over and over. I will NEVER be a burden to my children and when/if I do become dependent I will have a plan to be taking care of. I would NEVER make it my children’s obligations to worry about me when they have just started a life of their own. Also how is a stroke related to Alz????? He has full mental capacity and can understand what he is doing to my family. Again I would never treat someone who is there to help me the way he treats us. And prayer is a must, that is the only thing getting me through this.

Dear friend, you need to have a meeting with your brother... he is a guy they are usually clueless and think we women are a do it all. so share your trials and tribulations .. if he is not willing to help physically then he needs to buck up and compensate with$...so that you can get some outside help maybe twice a week ..this would give you and your family a break...in reference the your sister in law .. she needs to be informed that it's her husband's mother. I daughters always get stuck in doing it's the nature of things .. I took care of in-laws for several years... they had three daughters... none volunteered... If I had to do it over again... I would call a meeting and bring home the idea they need to share in this responsibility... The Elephant on your chest is a heart attack waiting to happen... Be assertive... take care of yourself.... it's life and your marriage. If your Brother and his wife get angry at your approach, don't feel guilty ... he should share in this responsibility it's nothing to get angry about Bless you and good luck

Dear Friend, so very sorry for your troubles....it is very common for people to be afraid of an extreme illness/life changing event, they can also be clueless as Erna said, they can be in denial or sometimes they just can't handle it.....Please research all other resources that may be available to your Mother for care on top of having "the talk" with your brother...blaming and shaming doesn't work, however listening to him so you know exactly where he stands may...check the local Aging and Disability Agency, check with the social worker at the hospital where she was, call the local referral service, look into support groups for stroke victims and their families....I am pretty sure you are not alone in your plight in your home town, and can promise you you are not alone here!! Glad you are with us, stay in touch, share your story, vent, ask for help, tell us a joke!! Have a blessed day!!

Hello Blissblessed,

I am so sorry to hear of your experiences and the ill health of your wife. Thank you for reaching out to Caring.com. Although this site is primarily for seniors and their care needs, here is a resource that you may find helpful:

• http://www.funerals.org/affiliates-directory[funerals.org]

Hope this helps!

Bliss blessed, I am so sorry you are at this crossroad.
1- Check with the Hospice House and the Chaplain there.

2- if they cannot help you. Check with your local Funeral home.

3- If it is financial help you need, and your church will not help. Seek out other Churches in the area.

1. If all of that fails go the the City Hall and seek advice there.

I am assuming you do not have insurance. Burial or Life.
Come back here and let us hear from you. Hugs to you and your children and God Bless.

Dear Betty 918, My heart goes out to you. How very sad and difficult. I hope you can get help to care for your partner while you grieve the loss of your mother. I am holding your hand in thought. Wish I could do more. Hugs and prayers.

Hugs and prayers are a major blessing...They are not just comforting, but they give me the extra strength I need right now...Thank-you

Please be careful! If you fall, there will be three of you needing help. I fell all by myself without anyone using me for balance, and the result was a severe concussion which put me out of commission for five months. I'm still going to therapy.

I'm thinking of you.

Sizes make a different in caring for 2. Hugs

Old and Tired, a sense of humor will take us a long way dealing with our situations!! Glad you are here, have a Blessed Day!!

Hello,

Yes a sense of humor does go a long way. Check out our Smile of the Week blog as well as inspirational quotes, tips, and more on our Facebook fan page: http://www.facebook.com/caringcom[facebook.com]

All you can do is laugh. I have one of those weekly plunging sessions also.

Keep up the good work. Hugs.

You might want to talk to her Dr. He or She can give a mild medication that will help. This Phase will either get better or Worse. Let hope for better.
A lot of people have this problem. I had a little of it but not a lot. God Bless you. Hugs.

Yes, do talk to her doctor, who should be able to direct you toward resources for help in your community as well as prescribing medications (which may or may not help--every dementia patient seems to react differently to the medications currently in use to try to help them). Also find a support group for spousal dementia caregivers--there's a long thread on this board with a whole bunch of people caring for their spouses with all different kinds of dementia. Maybe there is a group in your area. There is a lot of information on line also on this site and others. There are books too--I'm embarrassed to admit that the only one I've read is "The 36-hour Day" but I have been meaning to order more from Amazon. I've been at this for about 10 years (only admitted it for the past 3 years and hired caregiver help). I can't see how anybody can care for a spouse with dementia single-handedly. It's too hard. But please, know that you are NOT ALONE! Click on my username and many if not my posts are on that thread where we are caring for our spouses with dementia. Just remember, we didn't cause it, and we can't cure it. This is heartbreaking, but true, and when I can remember it, it lightens my load.