How do I prevent a probate battle before Mom's passing?
There are already two hopeful signs in the hard situation you describe: You brought up the tough topic of your fears about an unfair distribution of the estate with your mother and sister—and they were open to discussing it.
If your mother doesn’t have a will or trust that clearly spells out her wishes about who should get what property after she dies, encourage her to do so. These legal documents are fairly bulletproof; the survivors are simply required to carry out the directions expressed in them. While they don’t always avoid every mess, since survivors sometimes feel they should have gotten more or different property, at least they take the guesswork out of the issue.
Since there appears to be some idea that your sister might act unfairly—and she might harbor the same concerns about you—you might also encourage your mother to name a different person to act as the executor or trustee charged with collecting, managing, and distributing the property after her death. That would remove the onus from both of you.
sounds ssoooo familiar! you are not alone. Dealing with exact same thing,only my mother is on her death bed..
Contact a local attorney who specializes in wills/trusts/probate. They would be the best one to advise you of the best way to handle this. There is no better time than the present to take care of this hard issue. It will cost a little money, but the time, effort, and money saved will be worth it when you mom eventually does pass. Good Luck.
A will is not always bulletproof. A year ago my father passed away with a will dividing his assets equally between my sister and me. However, unbeknownst to me (and I firmly believe to my father either), all his bank accounts listed my sister as either beneficiary or on the account because she lived close to him. Therefore, his will was considered without assets. Legally I received nothing. I know that was not my father wishes. My sister and I have not spoken for over a year. It is a very sad situation since we were always very close. I agree with RJones about contacting an attorney now who will counsel and mediate this issue before it is too late like with my sister and me.
Thats why you need a trusted attorney who can advise the best way to avoid pitfalls.
I am kind of in the sisters position but am not. I am on my mom's checking and savings account because I paid the bills and I had to watch it. My mom had a habit of buying $2000 worth of magazines (just pennys per day!!!!)If she needs to go on medicaid then the house will be transferred to me because I have been her caregiver for 5 years. I plan to follow her will and devide everything 6 ways but I think there might be a problem with gift taxes. Right now I am just collecting the stuff from my dad's death so we want to get that settled and find out what he had before I set up my mom. My lawyer for the guardianship does not understand why I dont keep the house because I have had to quit my job and have provided free caregiving. I know that my siblings would help if they were allowed to or were able. So I dont feel that I should really get anything more than them. The hassle and bad will created by greed is not worth the money that I would inherit. Sure it would be nice but I can survive. I am a big girl now and dont need her money. My neighborhood is occupied by alot of people the same age with parents dying left and right. In many cases families are broken up by arguments and fights at a time when they need to pull together.
THX, biely, I now know why my brother is squirreling away Mother's SS and other incomes. He has guardianship and conservator power.
I don't know where I'll get the money for an attorney
To sadsack - that is the difference between you and my sister. You will do the fair and honorable thing when your Mom passes. No amount of money is worth the pain I felt when my sister refused to abide by my father's will. I not only felt the loss of my Dad but also my sister and her family as well.
To eleclyt - Check with your state agencies to see if you can get free counseling or some attorneys might set up a payment plan.
Sadsack, I believe there is an allowance for $ gifts. Anyone can give anyone $X each yr. I think X=10,000.
Thanks for the information.Eleclyt. I really will have to look that up.
Lots of good and bad advice. Let's see I am now researching probate for my mom.I have the same situations as above. However my philosophy is as follows: if my mother wanted my sister to have more than I --well hellooo? respect the wishes of the person. Greed factor. 2. beneficiary on accounts, that's right. That is how the banking industry will respond to that issue. The sister had the choice of adding her name on as well if she was concerned; however she was not the one paying the bills? correct? correct. The sister was doing the work, let her enjoy the fruits of her labor and too bad for the lazy sister who did not assist.The person who says she was the caregiver for five years and her mother could now get Medicaid if necessary? that has to do with transference of property and funds, not that one took care of a parent for 5 years. The 5 year rule is applicable for property ownership. Finally, a trusted lawyer? hahaha...some lawyers know their stuff and way too many don't. Here is my take on all of this. I stopped by sister from taking the house all to herself..long before our mother passed on. I talked to mom, and I made a legal move.
If you are fighting for money in an estate, it's because your mom or dad didn't want you to have it, and did not want to tell you to your face. How is that for a reality check? Even though my own children are brats to the "t" when I depart I want them to have whatever I had and I don't want judges, lawyers or any state interfering and depriving them. But I am alive and saying now and will include it in my will. No stranger has the right to interfere in my family and my wishes..why should lawyers and the state get money that they (kids)can use after am gone. Come on. Stop being greedy. You didn't get anything, move on, you stole your brother or sister's inheritance then know that there is a payback. Lawyers are stupid. and I am in law school at 62-years of age because I am sick and tired of them. I will help people by giving out correct information.
I don't think you gave any helpful solution to the person asking for advice. Yes, I agree if the parent wants one sibling to have more or even all of the estate, then that is fine. However, the problem lies when the will is divided equally but due to other issues surrounding bank accounts,stocks,bonds,etc., one sibling acquires more or even all of the estate regardless of what the will says or of the wishes of the parent who didn't not realize what would happen to their various accounts when they passed!
