“Why doesn't anyone ask how I am doing?” It is easy to feel invisible, as if no one can see you. Everyone's attention is on the person with the illness, and they don't seem to understand what the caregiver is going through. Many caregivers say that nobody even asks how they're doing. Mental health experts say it's not wise to let feelings of neglect build up. Caregivers need to speak up and tell other people what they need and how they feel.

Support groups, religious or spiritual advisors, or mental health counselors can teach you new and positive ways to express your own need for help.

Seek out professional help when you:

• are using more alcohol than usual to relax
• are using too many prescription medications
• have physical symptoms such as skin rashes, backaches, or a cold or flu that won't go away
• are unable to think clearly or focus
• feel tired and don't want to do anything
• feel keyed up and on edge
• feel sad all the time
• feel intense fear and anxiety
• feel worthless and guilty
• are depressed for two weeks or more
• are having thoughts of suicide
• have become or are thinking about becoming physically violent toward the person you are caring for