When it happens
Can begin at the earliest stage of dementia and progresses with increasing frequency until the person is no longer capable of making or keeping own appointments. It's normal to forget something occasionally and remember later; it's problematic when this happens repeatedly and disrupts everyday life.
Why it happens
The brain's working memory system is one of the first casualties of dementia. Working memory is a kind of short-term memory in which the brain holds a thought long enough to use or store the information in longer-term memory. Because the proper connections are no longer made in the brain, people forget that they've made an appointment -- or even that they've jotted down the time and place in a date book for later reference. Over time, episodes like these increase.
What you can do
Put memory prompts in place, such as date books by telephone and pads of paper for to-do lists. Know, however, that over time even these aids will be forgotten and go unused.
Try keeping a "memory board" (a chalkboard or whiteboard) in a prominent place. On it, write the day's date and any important events for the day. Casually review it together in the morning and refer to it through the day.
Act as a back-up memory system: Write down the appointments and tasks in your own planner and follow up to make sure they take place.
Offer to make the appointments yourself.
Don't berate the person for screwups or urge him or her to "try harder." He or she can't.
My mom had what may have been Alzheimers but may also have been oxygen depreveation during a a double by-pass ( WAS UNDER THE KNIFE-so to speakand was never had an autotopsy. MY SYMPTOMS HAVE BEEN FORGETFULNESS. AND FOR SIMPLIFYING BILL PAYING (AVOIDING LATE CHARGES ETC) WAS TO HAVE EVERYONE ON AUTOPAY. BIG TIME HELPFUL!!! THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELPFUL ADVICE.
I have started writing info on the Fridge and I direct him to read it. He still asks the same questions time and time again all day. I have to take a deep breath and just repeat the answer each time.
I found this helpful because its a great reminder when the brain is not able to fully function in memory. On a daily basis, I make a list of things for my Mom and put the list (the night before) on the kitchen table with her pillbox, and her teacup, so that when she goes to make her tea in the morning, she'll see the list, which she does and checks off as she does. I also now make all her appts and do followups for her since she tends to get confused doing too much 'thinking'. When I get up in the mornings, I go over her list to see that she understood and was able to manage.
Wonderful reminders even if you already knew this.
I make all his appointments and drive him everywhere he needs to go I get quite discouraged some days.
Prayers evenso
I will get a whiteboard for messages and reminders.
My Mom is beyond this. Fortunately, she was living in assisted living before being diagnosed with Alzheimers. She has had a giver since then. All medication is dispensed by the nursing staff and her caregiver guides her to meals and activities and assists with dressing, toileting and bathing. My sister and I monitor all other activities and appointments and provide transportation there as well as monitor her personal supplies, laundry, and other personal needs. The facility celebrates all major holidays and birthdays and posts the date daily. We do not live in the same city, but see her several times a week. Our brother who lives nearby calls her several times daily and is in contact with her caregiver.
this has helped so much, I really was at a loss of what I could do, this has given me some ways to help both of us deal with this next stage of our lives, thank you
some days he is quite normal, and has found the notes I write very useful. has even asked me to write a note so he wont forget, he has accepted it is useful to have a reminder system.
Hello deel, Thank you very much for your question. If you'd like, you can post your question in our Ask & Answer section, here: ( http://www.caring.com/ask ). Take care -- Emily | Community Manager
Memory loss progression is just very difficult for me, the caregiver! It is so difficult to tell my husband that he should not make commitments with some folks he used to volunteer for because I believe he was not doing a good job, that he should no longer play in the tennis league he belonged to because he was just not playing good, lots of mistakes, and hard for his partner (playing double) and...I did not like that he'll be told he can't play or volunteer anymore, which will be a real heartbreak for him! What can I do, what is the best way to tell him what I know, that he is not really contributing anymore to the fun of tennis and his volunteer work? I need suggestions from anyone. Thanks. ~ deel
When you have a loved one that suddenly is confused, can not do simple tasks they have done for decades (turn on washing machine, fans) and thinks that everything around them has been changed and it's the same old stuff-it is really harder on those around them, who realize there is something wrong and see a once vital individual waste away. We are seeking every type of help as this came on suddenly but are told it is Dementia and there is not much one can do. The victim of Dementia just exists in their world, while we turn ours upside down to try to tackle the disease and relieve the issues it provides for our loved ones. I was once told to join her and "enjoy the ride." Dementia is no joyful ride and it affects all in close range. I hope and pray we can one day help our elderly loved ones and those who care for them with effective treatments.
I read this article in NYT this morning and I thought some of you may be interested in what it says. It's a bit long but gives ideas how AD "could" be prevented, maybe slowed down. One thing I am certain my husband is a bicyclist, runner, did not smoke, eat healthy food, trim and yet he got it at an early age. It must be his genes! But everyone is different. Here's the link: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/07/26/health/26alzheimer.html?_r=1&ref=health ~ deel
Maybe the white board willhellp.
can't leave notes for him - does not read them - altho he reads newspaper daily but re-poireads several times- forgets what he has read.
Information very helpful........ I note appointments on the calender, and leave notes for reminders. I dont think my husband is as bad as he was, the reminders have helped a lot, Thank you very much............
It is an explanation of everything my husband does, but he will not admit anything is wrong, he has never had to complete forms ect. I have always done this for him, but I asked him to complete a form, and he didn't have a clue what to do. This made me decide to ask his GP for some help.
Hugs Sausage
this is very hard to see my dad go through this, my mom is taking it the worst, I just need to help her understand and not get mad, and at the same time help him because he dont see it. your helpfull hints are just that - helpful. thank you.
Yes. My father has moderate Alzheimers. I manage his finances and health appointments. He used to look at the calendar and chck off each day. He rarely does this now. A memory board is a good suggestion I had not thought of. Thank you
forgetting appointments is not my mom's problem...she constently thinks that she or I have a doctor's appointment when neither of us does....There is a wall calendar by her seat at the table and a white board with appointments on the refrigerator. I find this happens most often when she spends time sitting by herself.
I am now ordering his medications and put together his daily pills (am and pm). I know he is losing lots of his memories. But he can still run errands for me on his bike where he carries a debit card for payment and a list (one or two items only). I will dread the time when he won't be able to...So sorry and sad.
memory board is good...never thought of it.
Thank You
Not for me it wasn't. My Mom is past this stage. I just make the appointments for her now and call her just before I leave the house to pick her up in the assisted living home she lives at. Even with a note in a prominent place, she doesn't read it. She can't differentiate between day and night anymore either so time means nothing to her.
Prayers suzann
I have a large family and always have things on my mind or always worrying about whether or not their lives are ok whereby some of them need financial help and I try real hard to help them. Sometimes I can and sometimes I cannot. Also I lost my husband ten months ago and I believe my mind is sad and thinking of how to handle myself being alone whereby I have never lived alone. I have many friends and try to keep busy both in my home and going places (pleasant ones like shows, lunches, dinners but every night when I am alone I guess I feel sorry for myself.
I have tried this and he will walk right by the note, or will not read it if in his pocket. He believes that he remembers correctly and will not cooperate.
Knowing what is the next step in the forgetting process
I'm 68, and have been dealing with memory loss for about eight years. It doesn't seem to be getting any worse, for which I am grateful, but it seems odd. What drives me whacky is my frequent inability to come up with a particular word during a conversation. It makes me feel stupid! I find myself talking around the lost word, describing what I want to say when I can't actually say it. Usually the other person will say the word for me. If there is one piece of advice I would give to everyone who deals with a person who has dementia, it would be this: Do NOT say, "I know. You just told me that." If the person realized she had just told you, she wouldn't be telling you again, would she! It makes me feel bad every time someone says that to me.
You have made me feel that I don't seem to have Alzheimer's at this time, or that my few symptoms that you picked up on are not so critical. Thank you.
The memory board seems to help my dad. He also uses a journal to write what happens to him each day (usually will do it right after it happening) to help him remember when something happened.
I have used the white dry erase boards in the past but my Mom has progressed beyond that. She can't even remember to look on her calendar nor does she know the time of day. I don't even tell her when she has an appointment anymore. I just make them and show up at the nursing home and tell her then. I've found leaving notes in her room, etc. causes her more anxiety trying to remember or she will get the time wrong and call me and angrily demand to know where I am that she had an appointment.
The article was quite helpful. It eased concerns of my 'losing it,' and offered sensible actions that help to reduce the impact of not remembering. I used to cry - often - during moments when I realized I couldn't remember. Such moments can be deeply terrifying, leaving me to exclaim, weeping, "What's happening to me?" This article has helped to remove that sense of terror and fear by naming the forgetting as a known physiological event occurring in the brain. I can now stop wondering if I am going crazy. As an old song once proclaimed, "Ain't understanding mellow!"
This is exactly the symptoms we have experienced with my mother. We followed this pattern to the tee and found it to be very helpful. She has now progressed past this point to not knowing the day of the week or time of day. However, this plan has really helped us as she transitioned into assisted living.
Hi Halley, Thanks for your question. Sorry to hear about your daughter's illness; memory loss can be very worrisome on top of everything else going on. One place you can ask your question is in our Ask & Answer section here: (http://www.caring.com/questions/new). Hope this helps -- Emily
My Daughter Esther has been being very for getful lately she hastold me. She's concerned about this because her dad has Dementia.So she's getting Some tests done to see what's going on. She has Hepistatis C been a while Last year she was diagnosaed with FibroalgiaAnd it's giving herquite abit of problems. Could this have any affect on her forgetting?
That's me to a T! I'm only 49.
A white board works wonderful. It is a constant reminder of what time things are. I see my mom looking at it to help her. Of course, when she calls at 5:00 am, I feel better when I tell her it is on the white board and she needs to look at it.
It helps me to understand why my Mom can't remember the things we plan to do from one minute to the next. Most of all not to push her to try harder. I now know what to do and not get frustrated.
Well, To be honest I have a lot of the same things going on with me. I haven't drove my truck sense I moved in and he takes me everywhere I go. I don' know the town and it is a big city and it scares me of getting lost. In fact I haven't been out unless he takes me. luckymom
Is there a place or a Doctor that can help me find out?
The ideas for posting dates on the whiteboard are great. She will get one for Christmas to make daily transfers from all of the calendars she keeps for her and my dad! Each day, they can see who has to put an appointment on the whiteboard and IF they need a KID along. I also think that I will put their appointments in my cell phone reminder-calendar . This way, I can call to remind them when my phone reminds me of their upcoming appointments. I can offer to drive them if the weather is bad or use some other lame excuse! Grace will thank me and let me know that she is almost out the door and let me know that I am welcome to accompany them too! I see nothing but great things coming from this little strategy. It will serve as a great ego booster for Grace, who is in total denial about the dementia of nasty A disease, and the gentle reminder tricks will allow me to "chill out" too!
I just took over making appointments - I asked him to call for a hair appointment last week and no matter what he did, he couldn't contact her even though I programmed her number into his cell phone. He seems to be able to call me just fine, but just couldn't manage that task. So I make the calls and drive him to any appts he needs. It's easier, and then it's according to my schedule.