Advance Health Care Directives and Living Wills: A Step-by-Step Guide

I'm not sick are in the hospital but I need a will done how do I go by doing this

Very nice article. I wrote about what can happen if you don't have an advance directive (from my family's experience)...http://www.safebee.com/blogs/health/advance-directives-documents-let-you-die-dignity

What if the response to bringing up the topic of advanced care directives, living wills illicits the response of "there's greed in this room," and "my doctor knows who I am." Of course this is the same guy who keeps repeating 'your mom died so suddenly," when actually she was sick and in and out of hospitals for about 6 months. He's 92 and he's going to live forever, why do any of this bothersome paperwork?

This article reminded me that time waits for no one. In other words, I should get the forms and use them sooner rather than later.

All the pronouns referred to MALES in the above article... How about balancing FEMALE pronouns? Men are not the only humans who could use this information. Not too difficult to understand. Thank you.

My Mother moved in with me about a year proor to het passing away . She had not been close to my Step Father for many years, infact she slept i completely different parts of her home. She never filed for legal separation because she didn't want to eventually split with him her property. Most of which she brought into the marriage or the home . Anyway, Mom and I made sure she had a living will. She made me her caretaker incharge of any medical decisions, the Advanced Directive-living will. In addition she made me Power Of Attorney. Two days before she passwd I remember her asking the Hospice nurse that came to my home if she could take her money out of their joint account. The nurse told her she had the right to half and believe me she wasted no time having me rush down to the bank to transfer her part into my bank account. It wasn't much but it would get me enough money to dress her beautifully like she wanted in bright red. It also purchased a funeral book , cards, and a new obituary I had to do because my step dad didn't even mention her only sibling, or get her place of birth correct. Once she passed he wouldn't allowe in her home to get any of my childhood pictures, jewery that belonged to her or my Grandmother, nothing! I have nothing but pictures that i had from some of my adult years, bur mostly after my Mom got sick. Mom passed Oct.6,2006 and my step Dad refused to honor her will! It is on file in Loudoun County, VA but I can't do anything to enforce her will! I don't have money for an attorney and I don't know where her belongings are ! Can I do anything now ? Can anyone help me get what my Mother wanted me to have?? I miss her so bad and i feel she tried to make sure I would be tsken care of only to be hurt so bad. My step Dad has not spoke to me since or acknowledged his grandchildren. They lost both grandparents the day my Mom passed.mu name is Lori Platts and I hope someone can help.

Great article! Thanks for sharing with us....

That the person needs to choose someone who is able to give up time and energy for a prolonged illness therefore should live nearby.

I think that it was very helpful but I still have questions that I want to ask such as does my illness cover being considered for hospice care and who do I ask to get answers...I appreciate this and look forward to hearing from you

A very informative step by step health care directives as we did at FamilyHealthFacility.com.

Arizona has site through Attorney General for self filing legal (when notarized) a Living Will & Health Care Directive. Used to be, may still be able to file with AZ secretary of State to have unique ID & Passcode on paper card sent back to person , so that any medical person can go to site and READ online your wishes anywhere int he world. both sites good to read. http://www.azsos.gov/adv_dir/Default.htm http://www.azag.gov/life_care/LCP_Packet.pdf Each STATE is unique in its laws. AZ packet also include DNR & specifics on how to filll out.

Hello Bruiser, Thank you very much for your comment. If you'd like, you can post your question in our Ask & Answer section, here: ( http://www.caring.com/ask ). Take care -- Emily | Community Manager

Both of my parents are in very poor health. I have two brothers and I'm the only girl. My husband and I have lived across the pasture from them for 29yrs, We've been here to help on everything. Just recently I was able to get them to add myself and brothers on most financial things and it was like pulling teeth. My mom acted like I was going to go to the bank and clean them out. She has never worked outside of home and knows nothing about how things are done. However, what has really troubled us is that mom and dad have power of attorney over each other and will not put any of us kids over them. We can not make them understand that should something happen to both of them and neither one could make decisions about themselves or the other that our hand would be tied somewhat. Dad is almost 79 and mom 77. Mom has mild dementia even though she says she doesn't and we have medical proof. Both can barely move and both have many health problems. They, especially mom refuse to listen to reason on many things and thinks we, the kids should not have any input on anything. However, I have to take them to doctor's appts most of the time because they don't tell the doctor's a lot of things, they can't fill out the paperwork so I do all of it and so much more. I'm tired of beating my head against a wall. They rely on us to help with all this and around the farm but no way will they put us as power of att. They've had many of their friends tell them they should but they will not listen. Any suggestions? Really need some help on this.

I've been trying to get an advance directive done since I'm the one making all the decisions. My mom is 86 but she still doesn't want to consider it for dad. Its very hard trying to explain that he will still get the best care possible!

Most of the article I already knew about and fall into those categories. I fear the most about being alone via husband dying; not having enough money to support myself since life expectancy is longer--a bag lady; designating a caregiver(can't depend on sons or daughter); and coming down with Dementia which was not mentioned in the article. I'm 71 and my husband is 73 who is overweight, doesn't exercise and I can't get him on a diet, so don't expect him to live longer than me.

Very helpful! Thanks!

Hi bevel­, Thank you very much for your question. If you'd like, you can post your question in our Ask & Answer section, here: ( http://www.caring.com/ask ). Take care -- Emily | Community Manager

Is there an online health care directive/ living will form for the state of TN.? Or possibly a standard (universal form) that could work for any state?

This is useful because it provides explicit directions and notes the need to revise or update, with instructions on how to do it. It would be helpful to have links to articles on life-saving or life-prolonging interventions so that people could decide whether or not to start artificial nutrition and hydration.

Great tip Anonymous! Thanks for sharing. -- Emily

If you use any of these online forms, make sure you use one for the state you live in. Many states will ONLY accept their own format.

Hi Lorijan, what a difficult question. I suggest you submit your question to our Ask & Answer section here: (http://www.caring.com/ask). Also, if you'd like to learn the basics or DNR orders you can visit this page: (http://www.caring.com/articles/do-not-resuscitate-dnr). I hope that helps. -- Emily

Both my parent have been diagnoised with alzheimer's. My mother still gets herself dressed and can use the toliet. She has forgotten how to cook, doesn't clean, and doesn't know me or other close family member. My father is in the first stages with forgetting anything recent, having some outbursts, but functions pretty well. I have and am their POA for health care. As they have progressed in this disease, can I sign the DNR (do not resesutate) for them? They cannot understand it as I have brought it up before. I can't see bringing them back to what? more delusional behavior? I am a paramedic. So I know what all this means and how hard it is to recover from this.

What are the alternatives if an elderly parent refuses to set up living will " my doctor knows who I am and who you are so he will know who to ask," plus, I'm only 90, my mom lived to 103 so what's the hurry?"

ALL I WANT IS A FORM AND FREE COPY TO MAKE MY LIVING WILL OUT. WHY DO YOU PUT ON THEIR FREE WILL FORMS, PRINT FREE AND YOU DON'T HAVE THE.\M

just being able to read different things.... on the same subject

Just knowing that I need to start taking steps now for the future, reminded me tha tI am not getting any younger. I hadn't realized that each state had their own form for end of life decisions and I truly need to start working on this now.

One thing to also consider, in addition to your will and directives, is where you want to be buried. What cemetery is most appealing to you? Do you want a site in a certain sentimental town or city? Or, if you'd like to be cremated, where would you like your ashes scattered? Making these decisions for your family will relieve them of the burden down the road.

The end-of-life care process is most certainly one of the most difficult situations in healthcare delivery. The following website resources may help both professionals, patients and family members better understand these trying times. Engage with Grace - The One Slide Project www.engagewithgrace.org End of Life Issues Medline Plus National Library of Medicine National Institutes of Health www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/endoflifeissues.html End of Life Info Hospice Foundation of America www.hospicefoundation.org/endoflifeinfo End of Life / Palliative Education Resource Center (EPERC) The Medical College of Wisconsin - Milwaukee www.eperc.mcw.edu Aging with Dignity Advance Directives www.agingwithdignity.org Advance Directives Medline Plus National Library of Medicine National Institutes of Health www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/advancedirectives.html Advance Care Directives American Medical Association www.ama-assn.org/ama/pub/category/14894.html Knowledge is for everyone's health. Be an active participant in your own healthcare and your well-being. Harlan R. Weinberg, MD, FCCP Author, "Dr. Weinberg's Guide to the Best Health Resources on the Web" www.drweinbergsguide.com