Candle Story for Charlene Bracey

mystrocaregiver made this candle.

Charlene (a.k.a. Charly) is my girlfriend and I have been doing my best since we got together after being separated from our childhood ties, to take care of her while she takes care of a handicapped man (a quadriplegic) who lives by himself in a in-law apartment next to his ex-fiancé. He is a good friend and would give the shirt off his back if someone needed it, but because he has no ‘body function’ from the shoulders down, he needs total care, everything besides chewing his food. After so many years of care giving Charly has lost her sense of direction and now it is very hard for her see that she is not taking care of herself. She has put on some extra unhealthy pounds and her ankles and upper-back are sore to the point where she can not function as well as she could say three years ago. Much has happened over the few years we have been back together and I am concerned that if she keeps going the way she is, she will reach the point of no return (burnt-out-beyond-belief). I help as much as I can; joining her at work covering the late night shifts, but that is not enough. The main concern is that this job, care giving is her only source of income and only real trade she knows. Lately when she comes home all she talks about is Bob ‘her patient’ and never about herself, we hardly go out because I am between jobs and she supports her elderly mother and 14-year-old son, living downstairs from us, all on one income. Our relationship is taking a beating and I am just about fed up, but won’t leave because of love. The hardest thing for me is that “it’s very hard to take care of someone who is not taking care of themselves, yet taking care of someone else. As dizzy and distracting as it is to juggle two jobs at once, I am care taking for two people, working and in between jobs and art projects as well as watching my love life fall apart as my family struggles without me while supporting my son who does not live with me. This is not a story with an end but I am seeking what ever help I can get: How Do You Take Care of a Caregiver?