Carol O'Dell

Caring.com contributing editor

About

Carol D. O'Dell is the author of Mothering Mother: A Daughter's Humorous and Heartbreaking Memoir, about her experience caring for her mother through Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, and coronary diseases. Visit her blog that explores the joys and challenges of caregiving at Caregiving, Mothering Mother and More. Carol is a featured speaker at caregiver workshops and conferences of caregivers and healthcare and geriatric professionals.

Carol can be reached at carol@caring.com.

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Recently Published on Caring.com

  1. Tuesday January 31, 2012

    1. My mom wants me to drive her on her dates!

      Blog Post - Mom is starting to "take up" with a gentleman at the adult day center. She wants me to drive them on a date! Dad is in a care home with late-stage dementia and doesn't even know who she is anymore.

  2. Tuesday January 24, 2012

    1. I can't seem to get over the grief and shock of finding out my husband has Alzheimer's.

      Blog Post - My husband (not quite 60) has been diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's. We've spent four months telling close family and friends, making small changes to our lives, and making long-term plans. I finally feel like we've done all we can do prepare for what's to come. 3 Comments

  3. Tuesday January 17, 2012

    1. How do I physically and emotionally disentangle myself from my mother?

      Blog Post - I'm afraid I won't be able to continue being my mother's full-time caregiver. She's in her mid-80s and lives with me in my small house. She has mild dementia and other health problems, and she's a hoarder. I fear that if I move her to another living arrangement, such as a nearby condo nearby or even a care facility, she'll really go downhill... 5 Comments

  4. Tuesday January 10, 2012

    1. My cousin refuses to believe that his mother is facing worse problems than just "old age."

      Blog Post - I live with my aunt, who's 82. After she totaled her car, she needed me to drive her wherever she needed to go. Then I began to notice that she would forget simple things, such as whether she'd taken her medicine. She'll forget a conversation five minutes after having it... 5 Comments

  5. Tuesday January 03, 2012

    1. My brother is bent out of shape because he wasn't named executor of our parent's estate -- I was.

      Blog Post - My parents updated their will recently and named me executor. I'm not surprised; I've been their primary caregiver for the past three years and even moved nearby so that I could be available for them.

  6. Tuesday December 27, 2011

    1. I'm torn between caring for my partner's parents and getting ready for my own new baby.

      Blog Post - I've been caring for my partner's 80-year-old parents since February, because his mother had a stroke and his dad has dementia. But I'm 38 weeks pregnant, and I'm at a loss. His mother won't accept help from anyone except us, so I'm doing the meals and shopping, sorting out the papers and the medications, and so on... 1 Comment

  7. Tuesday December 20, 2011

    1. I'm Mom's primary caregiver, but I have to justify every penny I spend on her to my siblings

      Blog Post - I have two siblings, but I live closest to our mom and handle most of her care. I drive her to all her appointments; get her groceries, personal, and medical items; and coordinate her home health aides. Mom's small income doesn't cover it all, and so my siblings and I have agreed to cover the rest... 8 Comments

  8. Tuesday December 13, 2011

    1. Dad's in hospice and I'm afraid this is our last Christmas together -- but my brother isn't even planning to come into town!

      Blog Post - Dad has just been accepted into hospice, after being diagnosed with lung cancer in July. I've moved him into our spare bedroom and taken a leave of absence at work. I'm hoping we can at least get through the holidays and cherish the little time we have left. 2 Comments

  9. Tuesday December 06, 2011

    1. Mom is jealous of Dad's care aide!

      Blog Post - I feel so bad for my mom. After several years of heavy and stressful caregiving, we found Anne (not her real name) about three months ago. She's a great home care aide for my dad. Finally, he's cooperative and smiling again. He has mild dementia and is in a wheelchair after a severe car accident, along with other ailments... 2 Comments

  10. Tuesday November 29, 2011

    1. My dad is in assisted living, and my mom feels so guilty that she's upset all the time.

      Blog Post - My mother has cancer, and although she seems fairly healthy at the moment, we chose to put Dad in assisted living. He has Lewy body disease and is in the moderate stage. He's had difficulty adjusting and is very weepy with Mom when she visits. It's putting quite the guilt trip on her, and she's upset and wondering if she did the right thing... 4 Comments

  11. Tuesday November 22, 2011

    1. Caring for my mother-in-law has taken over our lives and home!

      Blog Post - Six months ago we brought my husband's mother into our home. She's a widow, has a heart condition, and was recovering from a hip replacement at the time. The move was presented as a temporary situation, but since then moving back out hasn't been mentioned. 4 Comments

  12. Tuesday November 15, 2011

    1. Mom refuses help from home aides, but she and Dad really need assistance!

      Blog Post - Mom is Dad's primary caregiver, and she clearly needs help with his care. Both my parents are in their mid-eighties and still living in their own home. Dad's a big man and needs assistance in the shower and with dressing (he has severe arthritis and now dementia). 4 Comments

  13. Tuesday November 08, 2011

    1. My care needs are causing my daughters to fight -- and I hate it!

      Blog Post - We've always been a close family. But now that I need care (I have multiple sclerosis and am in a wheelchair, requiring daily assistance), my daughters are starting to bicker about who does what, what needs to be done, whom I should live closer to . . . the list goes on.

  14. Tuesday November 01, 2011

    1. My mother has become paranoid, and it's really causing problems!

      Blog Post - My mother constantly thinks that someone is either trying to break in or steal from her. Dad died a few years back, and my mother has insisted she continue to live in their home. I have home health aides come in three times a week to assist her, and my sister and I cover the other days as best we can... 7 Comments

  15. Tuesday October 25, 2011

    1. My mom is balking at moving closer to us.

      Blog Post - My brother and I are helping our mom move from out of state into a nearby condo we’re buying. It makes good sense, since she doesn't own her home or have strong emotional ties where she lives now. It will also be good for her to be nearer to us as she gets older and begins to need more care -- anand... 3 Comments

  16. Tuesday October 18, 2011

    1. My mom is a pushover -- and my sister is taking advantage of her kind heart!

      Blog Post - My sister is getting a divorce and is moving back in (with her two kids) with our mom -- who is already caring for our dying grandmother. I've tried to tell my sister this is just too much on our mom right now. My sister, though, has always been the kind of person who thinks that whatever she's going through is worse than anything anybody else is facing... 3 Comments

  17. Tuesday October 11, 2011

    1. I know Dad's just sitting at his care facility all day, feeling miserable -- and the guilt is eating me alive.

      Blog Post - After leaving my household of his own choice, then spending three years living in a mobile home community, my dad has moved into a nearby care facility. Problems with mild dementia forced the move. 9 Comments

  18. Tuesday October 04, 2011

    1. I'm beyond caregiver burnout!

      Blog Post - My mother has severe Alzheimer's. My sister helps out financially, but Mom lives with me. I have a home health aide, but Mom just screams nonstop and won't let anyone touch her but me. How can I go on? 12 Comments

  19. Tuesday September 27, 2011

    1. My mom is making mealtime miserable!

      Blog Post - My mom moved in a few months ago after recovering from a bad car accident. When a new eye condition made it unsafe for her to live alone, we invited her to stay on permanently. All of us have managed to adjust to "Nonny" -- except at mealtime. 2 Comments

  20. Tuesday September 20, 2011

    1. My husband has early-onset dementia, and he's refusing to deal with it.

      Blog Post - We're both devastated by my husband's recent dementia diagnosis -- he's only 59, and all our retirement plans just went up in smoke. I feel like I'm grieving for my husband and for our life together. On top of that, he doesn't want me to tell a soul. He expects life to go on "as is" and says we'll just deal with whatever comes our way... 7 Comments

  21. Tuesday September 13, 2011

    1. My mom has suddenly started pitching fits when I can't do something she wants. How do I stop this bad behavior once and for all?

      Blog Post - My mother is 84 and has Parkinson's. She's living alone (her choice), can't drive anymore, and I know she's frustrated. But lately she's been losing her temper a lot, especially when I can't take her on all her various errands or pay her my full attention... 1 Comment

  22. Tuesday September 06, 2011

    1. My husband balks my care at every turn!

      Blog Post - My husband (a retired policeman) has a host of things wrong with him, including failing eyesight, but he insists on driving. I've tried offering to drive myself, or getting his friends to pick him up -- I've even hidden his keys. He's being stubborn, even though I've shown him newspaper clippings... 6 Comments

  23. Tuesday August 30, 2011

    1. My mom just died, and I don't know how to be "normal" anymore.

      Blog Post - I'm 16. My mother became seriously ill two years ago, and I've been her caregiver. She recently died, and now I don't know what to do. She was my whole life, and now I feel empty -- and like I failed her. If she had someone better to take care of her, she might be here now. 14 Comments

  24. Friday August 26, 2011

    1. How to Protect Older Adults During a Natural Disaster

      Article - Protect older adults during a natural disaster by following these tips: 1 Comment

  25. Tuesday August 23, 2011

    1. I'm wondering if my daughter has any feelings!

      Blog Post - I recently lost my only son, who was also my youngest child. He wasn't even 30. Of course I'm devastated. Right after he died, my oldest daughter came to visit. I guess she was trying to help, but she seemed incredibly selfish and uncaring. All she could think about was when she was hungry and when she was tired of visitors coming to wish me well... 5 Comments