Engages in aggressive behavior (hitting, pushing)

I had to put my loved one in the hospital while he awaits a nursing home placement because of his aggression toward the other person living in the house.

Is there not some offer of self-defense classes or retrain techniques available? Placement is not an option since my Mom is dependent on Dad's income which would follow him to a LTC facility-She is too old 85 to be hit by an 87 yr old man with a walker and meds are usually, but not always effective

Friends, I'm getting older - we all are. I find that as much as I dearly love a bath, because of my imbalance as I develop problems with aging, I have to settle for a shower now. Also, my husband and I always make sure the other is 'standing by' when we shower. It's not the nice, comfy feeling I get from a bath, and that makes me not do it as often as I know I truly should. Sunflower, maybe this is why your roommate doesn't wash as much as he should now? Good article. I hope my sister, who is the only one of us children living close to our mother, joins this group, because I've found a lot of things here that are helpful.

Very helpful!!! Thank you.

How do you tell a person (roommate) that he has Dementia and should not drive (he's 84) ? He has recently gotten lost (finally found the place himself). He does not believe that there is anything wrong with him and states that the reason he doesn't remember is because "he doesn't want to because those things are not important to him." He lies a lot about washing up. He use to take a shower everyday, now I have to practically stand beside him to make sure he washes himself. When he gets upset, he gets aggressive or just stares into space so he doesn't have to listen to me or starts makeing loud sing/song noises that he knows upsets me. Is he ready for a Home? I am not a family member....but have power of attorney and health care power of attorney. His family does not want him unless they can put him in a Home. I am beside myself and don't know who to turn to first. The house we live in is in both our names and we share payments on everything. What a mess! Any advise will be greatly appreciated.

My DH is aggressive at night. He has nightmares where he is fighting off someone. He is hard to wake him and explain it is only a dream.I use to be able to touch him and tell him everything is ok. That he was just dreaming. Now I beleive he thinks I am the attacker and he swings at me. When he does wake up he is very upset if he has hurt me. This man has never been abusive and is very loving. I know I must think of making a seperate bedroom for my self. But we have been maried for 50 years and I know that at night he reaches over to make sure I am next to him. I'm like a security blanket for him.

My doctor suggested that I exit the scene and go to another part of the house when he gets "mouthy". This really works for me. Another friend suggested that maybe he is frightened of his situation. This is harder to cope with.

Alz has turned my sweet hubby into a monster who tries to hurt me. I've had to admit him to a nursing facility in order to be safe from him injuring me. They'll work with meds to bring the aggression under control but meanwhile, he's a stranger to me. My husband would've given his life to protect me, and that man is gone. I miss him SO MUCH.

My concern is her constant itching. I have been with Marcie for ten months, so I have seen it happen in every session now. Resently she is scratching her skin. Causing skin tares it's being treated. Then she will do it some where else. Last week she was rubbing her chin. She rubbed the skin off. Its just healing now. She has said I'm getting it off. Well yes her skin. OK this is a normal action for Alzheimer s parings. My friends dad was put on Aterax it stopped the itching and him picking at his ears and noises until they bleed. I passed on the info. Don't think the family wants to go that route. Thanks for listing. Peggy

being aware that smiling, calm manner, non threatening voice are all necessary to possibly stop the agressive behavior

Thank you for your help, it was great..

I tried the distraction tool this morning...seemed to work. We watched the clouds for a while. Now we have to go to the community room for county vouchers...we'll see how it works with a large crowd. I also tried blowing a kiss whe he just sits and stares at me....that worked as well. He blew them back and actually said I love You.....haven't heard that in awhile. Thank you Emily...you've been a big help! Brenda

just seeing some things he is starting 2 do i can learn from this on wht 2 do tks

Hi Brenda, Thank you for your question. I am really sorry to hear you have having trouble bathing your loved one. Here is an Ask & Answer page that you may find helpful: ( http://www.caring.com/questions/parent-resists-bathing ). I hope that helps. Take care -- Emily | Community Manager

I find the aggresive behavior happens when I suggest a shave, shower, haircut, etc. I walk away but he is smelly.....I need to shower him......but how?

everything i was reading tks

This info helped me to understand how to handle my loveone when aggressive behavior erupts.

i can send this information off to my sister who should read this and get a clearer understanding. thanks for sharing

I now sleep seperately with my door locked. He is much larger than I so I can sleep knowing he would make enough noise to wake me if he tried to get in. I have a baby monitor set up so I can hear him in his room. He is angry about not being able to drive & blames me for this. He can't see as he has cataracts & cannot have surgery for a few months due to other health issues. I have a man who comes 3-4 times a week & takes him out to run errands & eat lunch, With all me & my daughter & her family do for & with him he is still unhappy but it's all due to not being allowed to drive. He is very negative & ungrateful.

Hi Anonymous, Thanks for your comment. Sorry to hear about your husband's diagnosis. The very best place to get advice from other Alzheimer's caregivers is in our Stage Groups. In Stage Groups, you can swap stories, get advice, or just vent if you need to! You can find your Stage Group, here: ( http://www.caring.com/my/group ) I hope that helps -- All the best, Emily | Community Manager

All that I have read has been encouraging and I have experienced most of the behaviors. My husband was diagnosed over 2 years ago and I feel like he has really gone downhill fast. I don't always do everything right and often get so frustrated and most of that is because I don't get enough sleep. I find it so hard to go to bed because I feel like I'm sleeping wlith a stranger. Does anyone else feel like this or has felt this way? I am joining a support group this month and am looking forward to being a part of it. Thank you so much.

It is hard not to take it personally. And, harder to separate from your spouse especially.

suggestions were good

Yes my mom when she get extremely frustrated she will lash out. It is so hard for my sister she takes it personally. But I am trying to educate her that it is the disease. But so hard for her to understand