Survivors of Domestic Violence -- Group for Caregivers
Hello! This group is for individuals who are caregivers who've survived domestic violence or for individuals caring for a loved one who's survived domestic violence.
Have you been the victim of Domestic violence? Feel like you have nowhere to turn? Feel like others pass judgement because you have issues resulting from the violence? Come on in!
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An anonymous caregiver said...
4 months ago
I've been married 28 years minus 7 months apart when I divorced him a few years ago. He has a good job making good salary but has now allowed his adult son to move into a trailer on our place . .my objection to that was dismissed outright . .no discussion. He has bought him large$ items and spends most of his time with him. I have always bought groceries for husband and I with my SS income and it was made clear to me that it now includes him . .He has a job but seems broke partially due to child support garnishment and cigarettes and beer . .Husband now wants me to sign a post nup agreeing in event of divorce, I get nothing . . Has had me served with a divorce giving me 10 days notice to find an attorney . .IF . . I don't sign Postnuptial . .if I'm tossed out, my income would not even allow me a rental. I've been diagnosed with CPTSD and I feel like I'm just waiting for the "other shoe to drop. . Not living . .existing poorly. I have no family support group of my own as my children disowned me when I tried to make a go of my marriage
about 1 year ago
I live in mo. I cant seem to find any help. legal aide blows me each time try. they tell me since i'm guy and disabled I am low on there list. I'm in bad custody battle, my x and her whatever are still hitting my kid and the pd in the town are turning a blind eye at it. any ideas?
over 1 year ago
over a year ago, I started dating my best friend's brother. we fell in love instantly. after a few months, we got engaged. moved into a place of our own and started planning our wedding. a couple weeks later, I find out that I was 6 weeks pregnant. shocker. here I am at 19, engaged and pregnant. everything was going great. I was so happy to be a mom and wife. up until me and my fiancée wen to have my pregnancy confirmed at the health department. on our way home an argument broke out. the argument turned into a fist fight. he had trashed my car and beat up my face and my arm. so I moved in with my best friend and called off the wedding. a couple days later, he returns to apologize and I instantly take him back, because I felt my child needed their father. everything went back to normal. planning the wedding and be happy again. A month later, he doesn't come home til the next day and I question him. he denies doing anything wrong and that he was at a friends house. being the concerned fiancée/baby- mama that I was, I go snooping. I find out that he had been seeing my brothers ex girlfriend behind my back. once again, an argument breaks out and turns into a fist fight. I was shoved through a door, breaking it off its hinges, slammed into a wall and pushed down to the floor against a bookshelf. I get screamed at by his mom and I leave for a few hours. I completely end our relationship. few months go by, and its time to find out the sex of my baby. I was going to surprise him with it with a gender reveal party. we had come to terms to agree to disagree. I find out im having a girl. he had wanted a girl. (he has a son with previous girl). when it came time for the party, he didn't want to be there. he went outside to start a fire. I was hurt... again, another fight breaks out. the next day as im sleeping in the living room in the freezing cold because he kicked me out of his room, he starts blasting my tv up loud in his room. I ask him to turn it down and he refuses and cusses at me. once again, another fight breaks out. this time doing damage. im 22 weeks pregnant, and he starts to hit me. bruising my arm, my knuckles, my face, busting the back of my head open on the wall when he shoved me into it, tried to throw me out of the house literally, and chased me with a knife trying to stab my belly. im in critical condition. he mom returns home and tells me to leave. so I pack my things and I leave. I now have no home, no money, beaten up body, and stressed baby. I go back to my old hometown and I get a restraining order. he continues to threaten me and stalk me. and later find out the girl he cheated on me was pregnant by him. in March I have my beautiful healthy happy baby girl. 8 lbs 1 oz. 22 inches long. a good friend of mine comes to visit me in the hospital. she holds my daughter and stays a while. the next day I go on facebook and I find out she HAD BEEN DATING HIM FOR THREE MONTHS!!!! sending him pictures of my daughter. I have never been so mad. my daughter is now 6 months old, and I am still single. he now has 4 kids at age 20. but I have had thoughts lately of getting him back. I know its wrong but I feel my daughter deserves to have her father in her life. I don't want her mad at me later in life because I kept him from her. plz help this depressed and stressed single mom....
almost 2 years ago
Hi There! Let me introduce myself. My name is Christy, I'm 37 years old, I've been totally blind for 20 years, and I am a survivor of Domestic violence.
It happened in 2005, 10 years ago. I moved in with a man who I thought loved me to death. He was a construction worker, and fooled the entire world as to who and what he was. He drank heavily, used drugs, and repeatedly raped and beat me for a year and a half. He took my virginity against my will, so my first sexual experience was not a pleasant one. After the beatings, he'd cry and appologize repeatedly, and time after time, I took him back. He brain washed me into believing that he was the only one who cared. He even went as far as buying a gun, and repeatedly shoot at me saying, "All it takes is one shot."
Countless times, I used the, "I fell down", or, "I banged into a door" excuse. I stayed in women's shelters only to believe his lies and go back. He was fine for a few days, then the pattern began again.
It took lots of friends, and extended family to get me out of the apartment when he was at work. I never packed so fast in my life.
It's been 10 years, and even after intense therapy, I still experience flashbacks and I'm still afraid of construction workers. I had a problem for a while with jingling keys, because he used to walk around, with his keys on his belt, and for awhile, when I heard someone walking with keys, I'd be curled up in a fetal position, shaking.
I'm married now, to a loving man. He is an auto mechanic.
Before we got married, some issues came up. I told my therapist, how scared I was that my happiness would end, if I told my husband what happened. I'd been experiencing pain during sexual intercourse, and my Gynecologist suggested that it was from the repeated rape. My issue was that whenever my husband and I were intimate, I'd see my ex boyfriend slap me saying, "Take it bitch and shut up. Be quiet!" So I'd have extreme pain during the intimacy. I tried to keep the secret from him, but each time, the pain got worse.
He found out though, one morning when I fixed us coffee. "Wups? Not enough sugar sweetheart", was all he said. "You can't even make a lousy cup of coffee bitch", I heard the voice of Jimmy, my ex boyfriend say. I stood there, shaking. "It's ok sweetheart. It's alright." I threw the coffee across the kitchen, ran into the bedroom and hid in the closet. It took him over a half an hour, to get me outa the closet and get me outa the flashback. "I'm sorry", I kept yelling. "Please don't hit me. Don't hurt me please. I'm sorry." I knew it was time to finally let him know the secret I'd been carrying for a year. I felt like a weight was lifted.
Domestic violence does not only happen to Women, it can happen to guys as well.
I created this group so that others would be able to share stories, and help one another. Everything stays in this group, what is said here is strictly confidential.