Siblings can help or hurt you. They can encourage one another, but do they? How do you deal with them?
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about 1 month ago
Needing some advice on "how important open communication is between siblings about their mothers care", who has Lewy Body Dementia and resides in a Memory Care Facility and lives nearest the oldest sister(P.O.A.), im the youngest of us, and ive gone to visit my mom as much as i can. My other sister lives the furthest and shes only been able to visit twice now and does'nt believe she will be going back anymore, as my moms disease has progressed a bunch.She barely talks anymore and when she does, cant understand. She cries alot and seems to be very depressed and wants to go home. My oldest sister, nearest her, calls us each about once a month to talk on the phone to my mom, hardly a conversation, other than being able to tell her we love her and such, aside from that, the eldest sister seems to only tell either one of us very little of whats going on and is very vague. about anything, filling us in at the very least. Now, theres been words between my two sisters about things concerning my moms care where shes at, and apparently im the one who instigated it all, by way of talking to one sister about things i saw when i returned from a recent visit with my mom. So, everything is all a mess, and times going by,....and im more worried about my mom now, which i am powerless over, ...and all the while feeling anything but comfortable about the strife between me, and my other sisters. I dont know what i should say, if at all, to either sister?? what a mess
4 months ago
I don't know if I'm in the right topic here but I do know my world has come apart. I'm the full time 24/7/365 sole caregiver for my elderly aunt for the last two years. Eight months ago, my brother/teacher/best friend/co-caregiver, who also lived with us, died very suddenly of undiagnosed cancer. At 5:30 am we were chatting; by eleven that night he was gone. I'm not absorbing it well. We're still in the house we all shared and I hate it; we're planning to move soon. After an initial period of shock and hysteria, during which I had plenty of support, I became determined to "keep myself together" for my aunt's sake. I think it's backfired on me. My siblings and other family have been very supportive and helped as much as they can. But when they ask how I'm doing I usually lie because I don't want to burden them with the fact that I'm crumbling slowly inside. I've resisted grief counseling because I don't want to leave this bubble of denial, and face the fact that he is gone. I take good care of my aunt and I'm afraid that if I allow myself to grieve I'll break and be unable to care for her at all. I don't know what to do.
6 months ago
What is an appropriate way to deal with your siblings children,when you are not close to that sibling? What has your relationship been like with your nieces and nephews over the years? I don't want to feel unappreciated.... The only time I see my aunt's or uncles is if the matriarch of the family is involved.
8 months ago
My sister moved back home many years ago. She has a combination of a rheumatic disease and severe obesity. During her lifetime my parents tried many things to help her - in patient rehab, over-eaters anonymous, therapy, even gastric bypass. Nothing has worked. She's been on disability for a long time and hasn't worked. Daddy took care of her. If she would get her weight down below 250 she could have her joints replaced and maybe become a productive person again.
Sadly, my father will be passing away soon. He is leaving her the house, and supposedly the income off of the trust until she gets "on her feet" (which I don't believe will ever happen). My question: She may have a mental disease but she is not mentally disabled. Her brain works fine. What responsibility do I have to finically provide for her once my dad is gone? I cannot afford to keep up the house she is living in. I may be willing to pay her property taxes for her, but she's about to undergo a HUGE change in lifestyle and she's done ZERO planning for it. I'm afraid that things will reach a crisis and she will come to me for help because she thinks I'm rich. I'm more afraid of her at this point than I am of my father's passing.
9 months ago
I have 4 brothers and 2 sisters. I am the oldest child. I am 60 years old and am taking care of our 88 year old dad. After getting out of the hospital in 2007, the doctor said he could no longer stay home alone. So I quit my job to stay home and take care of my dad. I have had no income since May 2007. My dad pays all overhead and I take care of him and everything else. My brothers and sisters do not help. They tell me I chose to take care of dad; they would have put him in a nursing home. I have never been married and do not have any children. I have not been able to work since 2007, so I woun't be able to get much social security. Some day my other siblings will be knocking at my door with their hands out wanting their share of things. They feel they deserve it just because it is their dad. The youngest sister will call or visit but will come over and sit and talk while I do most of the work with dad myself. This causes me stress and anxiety to think that some day I may be kicked out on the street for quitting my job to take care of our dad. I don't know if I explained my situation well because there is so much more involved than I can put into words here. Please let me know what you think--am I justified in thinking that the house should be left to me for taking care of dad so I'm not out in the street some day or should we all share equally.
10 months ago
SMH my brother decided to call 911 said his bp is high he had a seizure & told them he didn't know where I was now he admits he knew I was in house he could slightly raise voice, call me, hit safety alarm it's just to beep for doors or windows opening or to get attention he could have used 2 way radio or numerous other ways ohhhhh that thing where I foot goes in front of the other til you get from point A to B what's that called hmmmm WALK TO ME but he said I would have told him to let me check vitals call dr then decide but then I guess that would have been fun free and a way I could do that spoiled rotten thing I love called rest but that would have been stress free soooooo yayyyyy the insanity continues let the good times roll smh
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