POD "A" (Parents of Disabled Adults)
POD "A" (Parents Of Disabled Adults) forum/online support/shared advocacy network/information exhange for parents of adult children with mental/learning disabilities.
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What's New Today
6 days ago
Not sure how to resolve. Elderly parent still takes care of physically aggressive son. He has fragile x syndrome and takes mental medication to balance hormones and aggression. He sweet a lot but he's easily triggered by noise, other people arguing etc. Mainly he's aggressive towards his elderly mother. Pulling her hair, spitting, pinching until he breaks her skin. She's not ready to put him waitlist for a home for fear someone will hurt or take advantage of him at home.
Careing mom said...
15 days ago
I have a daughter with Cerebral Palsey. I love my daughter,and do not want to put her in a home. She is 23 years old.I am a single parent,an am going with the greatest guy. We have been going together for four months and want to find someone to take care of her for a weekend. I need help in this department. We want some one to take care of her outside of our home.
17 days ago
My daughter has aspergers. She is 36 and lives with me. She is starting to abuse me, both verbally and physically. Her behaviors are escalating, and I am starting to fear for my life. Anything sets her off, i.e. offering to feed her cat when she doesn't feed him. What can I do?
21 days ago
It's okay to be his guardian at any age. My son is in a group home with a state appointed Guardian This has been the biggest nightmare for me. I never even knew I needed to file for guardianship. I assumed I was and would always be. Parents don't ever lose your parental rights
22 days ago
i have an intellectially disabled 50 yr old son who has worked most of his adult life; now in housekeeping at a casino. he was tested around the age of 20 and his iq was just above mental retardation. he drives and owns a very small house living on his own. he has done wonderful with my guidance most of the time but when he befriends a certain type of person he goes downhill. recently he has failed to put his house pymt money in the bank weekly so i can make his pymt each month. he used to put it in every week. he also recently has not been paying his bills and has had several utilities turned off and some will be soon. he is like three months behind most of them. i cannot help him financially. he makes more money than my ss check is. he is not what youd call good looking and has never had a girlfriend but wants one so bad. someone introduced him to a girl who has let him know she only wants to be friends but he thinks he can change that by taking her places, she has no car or spending money on her. he says he spends little on her but i dont believe that; i think that is what is happening to his money. even though he puts no money in the bank or pays his bills he is always broke. ive also wondered about drugs because in the past he did them with a couple of friends.who encouraged it. i dont know what to do anymore. my daughter thinks i should get guardianshiip over him but i am seventy and when i pass i dont know that my two other kids would continue to do it. id rather him come around and be his old self doing what is right. any suggestions for me would be appreciated.
22 days ago
I am a 61 year old disabled man caring for my 28 year old with mild cerebral palsy, autism and global developmental delay. We have been looking to place our son in a 'shared site' type of home for years. Our local Community Mental Health organization has been of very little help. I am looking for a parent's advocacy group or some group that can enlighten me to my son's options. CMH does not offer anything in this regard.
29 days ago
I feel like I'm drowning. My son is 39 years old. He is totally dependent. He requires a hoyer lift to be moved, he has to be fed thru a tube, he does not have control of his bowel function,he requires a ventilator to breathe. He is intelligent. He is funny. But, I am his only caregiver. I don't think I can put him in an institution. I am drowning financially and emotionally. Physically I don't know how much longer I can last. I am a nurse. I can not leave him to work. I am liquidating everything I have earned my whole life to care for him. I don't know what the answer is. I have been thru human services and case managers, they are not of any help. I guess I will just drown.
about 1 month ago
I am a new stepmother of four months to two adult developmentally handicapped children, who also have a severe form of muscular dystrophy. i have lived in this home with them for 8 months. Their prognosis is an early death. They are 30 and 31. It's been overwhelming from the beginning. They are sweet, but overly talkative, loud, resistant to using their walkers, etc. There are precious times, but most of the time it's horrible. I cannot lift walkers and especially not a wheelchair, which no one uses yet. The youngest just began a CPAP machine, and the older has a sleep study scheduled for next week, so he may need one as well.
Today our social worker gave me info about a possible placement for them, it is assisted living for the handicapped. My husband thought over what I found out. (He was widowed after their mom died of the same disease.) Later he said he didn't want to do anything right away, not even put them on a waiting list, until he was SURE he would not resent me later for urging this along. (Because he never took legal guardianship, just for medical decisions, they are considered independent. They could refuse to go to assisted living.)
He has always said he married me because he loves me, not to be a caregiver. He works 2x a week from home, but gone the rest of the week.. I am with them far more than he. He encourages me to visit my own mom, children, and grandkids, who live out of town. So they are alone a portion of those times that I go. The dr says that the oldest can still drive and that the disease is going to take its course.
I was hoping to get in-home help for them, since they are easily bored, have many medical issues, and love talking to others. But the family income is over the maximum to qualify. They are considered dependents by the IRS because he pays for all food, housing etc.
I am a loving stepmother, however, this is not just hard, but feels impossible at times.
Thank you for listening.
about 1 month ago
I am so sad about all the parents including myself who can not even work or are trying and the help for the loved one is on a waiting list. I am so overwhelmed by this situation for many parents like me. Not enough money to pay the bills and the only solution is to find a job, there is no quick way to solve this even for the doctors is the same. Clinic is closing and patients are piling up on a waiting list.
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