An anonymous caregiver said...
almost 9 years ago
My father has been living with Parkinson's since 1998. He is only 62 years old. It has been very difficult for him and also our family. From his medications, we noticed a behavioural change in him. He is now retired but my mother is still working full-time. However, his need for her constant care during the night and some times during the day is taking a toll with her emotional and physical health. They argue constantly.
My father has been stubborn and will not be happy unless he gets whatever he wants, no matter how ridiculous it is. From the medication, he will say inappropriate things and some times even lie to us. My mother has become tired from lack of sleep (helping him flip when he is frozened, using the toilet, etc) and she is becoming paranoid with his behaviours. She is constantly worrying about where he is, if he is stuck somewhere because his medication wasn't working, etc. He also often times verbally manipulate and abuse her. He often times would say he wants to die...either out of depression or to upset my mother. She of course nags and gets frustrated/upset with him.
Unfortunately to make things worse, I am now living in another country and my brother is finishing up his medical fellowship in Los Angeles. We are pretty worried that our mother's health will decline.
I guess I don't really have a question. I just don't know what to do. I've tried talking to them, and have them communicate honestly in a non-volatile fashion. I've tried to convince them to go see a therapist or join a support group. They just won't do it! All they seem to want to do is argue.
I feel defeated and tired. I know they love each other but none of us knows what to do now.