For those of us caring for loved ones with Multiple Sclerosis. Group started by a Caring.com member in April 2012. Information Caring.com offers for MS caregiving: Multiple Sclerosis Resource Center
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about 1 month ago
I have a question for anyone. What do you do when your spouse says hurtful things to you. How do you rise above it and try not to let it cut you to the core, even though it does? Do you find your spouse having a good time one moment, then like flipping a switch, the mood turns sour and hurtfulness and meanness comes out. You know deep down that this isn't the person you married, that it's the disease making your spouse act or react this way......but it still hurts, nontheless. I am facing this......and today.........my spouse states that he's not sure why he wants to stay married. I know he doesn't mean this, but how do you erase the words from your mind and your heart, once they are said? Any good advice or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. ????
about 1 month ago
My husband was diagnosed with MS in 2009. He has lesions on his brain. We were married 3years ago and I have stepped into the role as caretaker. I've tried to research everything I can about MS to better help and understand him and this disease. It's very difficult, watching the person you love go through something like this, struggling every day dealing with this. While I don't have MS and won't understand what it does to a body, I, too, live with this disease. It's equally difficult seeing my husband become someone I don't recognize, who does and says things, sometimes hurtful things and then doesn't remember it. I try to remind myself that he has a brain disease and not let these things hurt but they do. I know that it's going to get worse for him instead of better; I feel I'm doing everything I can to stay positive, to be supportive, to handle everything that he cannot....... I just don't want to lose myself in the process. I don't know if anyone else has gone through something like this as a caregiver, this is very new for me. All I can do is continue to do what I am doing and hope for the best.
2 months ago
My boyfriends mom has MS. I've been doing everything as far as cooking,cleaning and everyday chores that she has become unable to do. The last few days her health has deteriorated. She told me she ordered her meds over a week ago, but admitted that she hadn't yesterday. I stayed up with her all night and was able to convince her to go to the hospital this morning. My mom said because I'm technically an in home care provider I should look into a support group. I'm worried and feel alone. Please help.
3 months ago
I would like to get support from the caregiver on how do you deal with intamicy in your relationship. Ever since I found out my partner has MS I am not really interested in having intimacy, I am really struggling with this, I don't see my partner as a lover but someone I need to take care of. Help.
5 months ago
I am a caregiver for my wife who has MS. I am, and always have been, a "fixer", but I cant fix this, and I kills me. I looked at myself in the mirror last night and came to the realization that since my wife's diagnosis, 1 1/2 years ago, I have been so focused on making her comfortable and trying to see that each day, one at a time, she is as happy and healthy as possible, that I forgot to grieve, for my wife, my family and for me. I don't do well with grief and I know that I am doing her more harm than good until I can come to terms with her condition and what it is doing to the vibrant, energetic, independent, good soul who shares my life.
5 months ago
I was prepared for the physical part of MS. I was prepared for the trouble walking, the wheelchairs, the drop foot, the incontinence, the bowel issues, etc. What has surprised me is the cognitive issues. In 2010 my wife had a significant relapse. She was for a short time in a wheelchair and nearly bedridden. Fortunately she recovered from quite a bit. She has some trouble walking, but can walk well with a crutch, cane. What didn't recover was her cognitive ability. I went from having a vibrant 40 year old, professional to what seems like a 12 to 14 year old. Her memory is bad, especially for new things or appointments. She acts immature, doesn't clean up after herself anymore, and seems oblivious to anything other than her world. She has turned inward and has gone on disability and now spends her days watching streaming content or listening to books. While this works well, she loses all track of time and doesn't take care of herself. She doesn't shower or clean up for days. Eventually I have to tell her to shower because she smells so bad. She ignores her phone and text messages so I can't get in touch with her when I am at work or need her. She spends money on things like clothing or political campaigns without talking with me and i have to either just write off the money as lost or try to get refunds. So far its never been more than a couple hundred at a time, but I am afraid one day it will be. How do I deal with someone who physically is better than many MS patients I know, but mentally is a preteen?
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