Caregiving at Home
This online support group for in-home care discussions connects caregivers, family, friends, and others with an interest in aging in place. Get tips, advice, and support for your in-home care questions or concerns. Post best practices and success stories. Share about your in-home care experiences or challenges with others who understand. Ask for feedback or exchange ideas to help optimize aging in place for older adults.
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What's New Today
1 day ago
My mom is 90 and has 24 hour home health care - we are in nyc - and this will use up all money that she has. I do a tremendous amount for my mom and it seems that even though she has all the home care - she does not leave me alone - too much and I am too old for this - almost 70!
9 days ago
me and my husband move here to portland oregon 3 years ago to take care of his parents. since then he has lost his dad. his mom had low on-set alzheimers now its full blown. she thinks that she is here for vacation and that we live in ohio, we try to let her know that we don't but her daughter told her that she hasn't been here 12 years now we are the bad guys. need advice
10 days ago
I am caring for my fiancé after emergency colon surgery with a temporary colocstomy bag. He also has open wounds from abscesses removed. He is angry and depressed, so even when I say I will do it however you want, I am arguing with him. I can't do anything right. I am trying to be patient with him as he is in pain and scared, but it's taking a toll on me! Any suggestions on how to handle this situation?
10 days ago
I care for my parents- Dad is 96 and Mom is 82. He has some dementia, and spends a great deal of time in bed. He is very OCD. He wants to eat several times a day and then when he returns to bed, wants all of the wrinkles removed from his covers. My mother, is near him most of the time and screams at him because it is non stop. I can't get out of the house without being quizzed or her having a list, with no regard for what I may have planned. She also will stop talking to me and blames me for everything. I'm having panic attacks all of the time. Anyone going through this same ordeal?
11 days ago
I understand the need for nursing home care in extreme circumstances. Our family struggles with the decision because our parents' health does not include dementia. The topic of nursing home care to them is an unspeakable evil; to even ponder it is unthinkable. Neither parent has severe health issues; however, they are both weaker and less able to perform daily responsibilities, such as paying bills, cleaning the house, or cooking meals. Our mother suffers from OCD hypochondriasis (spelling?). She requires constant care, but 95% of the care is not necessary except in her delusional perspective. As a result, the two primary caregivers, daughter and granddaughter are crashing and burning and feel utterly forced into putting them in nursing home care despite every fiber of their being that doesn't want to do it. They both have full time jobs, small children in the house, husbands who need attention, etc. Marriages are suffering, kids are getting neglected (or at least not getting as much attention as they used to), bosses are becoming inpatient, etc. The irony here is the strange set of symptoms, or lack thereof, we are dealing with- 1) neurotic behavior linked to old age, but it's not dimentia, 2) no life threatening illness or ailments, This mother daughter team spends their waking hours taking turns being at their parents'/grandparents' house. They spend their days serving pop-sicles a certain way, pouring ensure, readjusting blankets, pureeing potatoes and macaroni cheese for someone who is perfectly healthy enough to eat all kinds of textures and varieties of foods, and hundreds of other URGENT in the moment tasks that are expected of them as the caretakers. They do have power of attorney and are within their legal powers to assert nursing home care. I want to know the real impact of forcing home care on people who vehemently don't want it, and who in many fundamental ways don't need it; however, their family is falling apart around them, burning out. Thank you for listening!!
Cousin Sandy said...
13 days ago
Hi Faith, Thank you for responding to my post. I know that I am not the only one who is going through many problems with their love ones, but there are times when I feel like it. I go see my husband every day and express how much I love him and what a great job my husband is doing learning to walk with his Prosthetic. I pray and ask God every night and day, like a good Christian does, which I am as well., to please help me except what I soon will be dealing with everyday, when my husband does soon come home. My husband has been a diabetic for the past 28 years and it seem like each year something happens to him to lower his manly hood. Both of us are retired due to health issues. We don't go out much, are do anything for excitement, and when we used to go out I really enjoyed it, even if it was just to go have and have dinner once in a while. I can't help by feel like my life has come to a permanent end as far as having an outside life. I know that I am rambling, but I just know how to express how I am feeling. I was hoping that 2017 was going to be a better year, but I can't help but think, that is not going to happen. Thank you for reading this Cousin Sandy
26 days ago
My 93 yo aunt with Alz lives with my husband and myself going on two years. A switch went off in her head two weeks ago that now she is adamant about going home. Prior to this, she just shared and rehared the same stories of her childhood :) She was content and gratified that she was in a loving home. I have to keep learning that reasoning with her Alz is futile. She has been very irate, accusatory, argumentative, refusing all instructions during this extreme Sundowing two week period, She has tried leaving my home. I've had a melt down and crying spells. Her doctor examed her and gave her a mild sedative to help her sleep which wasn't happening regularly. She has been on that medication so far for three days. It hasn't been very successful. I'm tired. Very. Tired. It's so much easier to tell her she can go home at some vague time in the future. That calms her for a while. I HATE lieing to her. It goes against my morals. I don't know what to do. Thank you for reading my rant this far. Any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated.
about 1 month ago
New here, my husband is mild+ Frontal temporal dementia. I know this is as good as it gets, I feel bad feeling overwhelmed already. It is affecting my health, working full time, a large home, yard and him, trying to be ahead of it all. But just exhausted, depressed, and feeling like a work horse.
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