Caregiving at Home
This online support group for in-home care discussions connects caregivers, family, friends, and others with an interest in aging in place. Get tips, advice, and support for your in-home care questions or concerns. Post best practices and success stories. Share about your in-home care experiences or challenges with others who understand. Ask for feedback or exchange ideas to help optimize aging in place for older adults.
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Jamie B123. said...
5 days ago
Hello, my name is James Brumley and my dad died November 30, 2016, of prostate cancer. He was in a home hospice program for a little over six months. We did not have a good experience with our hospice provider. I am currently a senior at the University of North Texas and I am double-majoring in History and Sociology. For my capstone research project in Sociology, I am researching caregivers' experiences with home hospice providers, in the hopes of better understanding how caregivers and their loved ones might choose the appropriate hospice provider, according to their preferences. If anybody would be wiling to share their experiences as a caregiver. it would be greatly appreciated, and all participants would be kept strictly confidential.
15 days ago
MY grandmother was diagnosed late with stage4 pancreatic cancer last month, which has metastasis to her liver and lungs and for sure other parts over the body. she Has congestive heart failure and renal failure among other illnesses like Diabetes. she was places on hospice this week. everyday it goes from bad to worse she hasn't slept well in about a week just last night they finally gave her something to control the pain and panic attacks she cant sit still she feels like she is suffocating. I'm thinking this could be from the CHF. I've asked the nurses to help all they give her is meds to calm her panic no oxygen. My grand mother asked me please help me i cant breath. Dont let me sufffer.. I just want her to pass in her sleep not in pain. they said less then six months I feel like its really soon. She still eats but only a little. she cant get comfy no matter how many mattresses we bought or cushions or recliners nothing she plays musical chairs day and night and yesterday she wanted to go on a shopping spree which is not like her. Any one tell me if this normal? im sure im all over the place with my questions im sorry im kinda lost at the moment trying my best to be around her 24-7 and my children. its beautful to see 4 generations in one room but also sad to know we will be missing her. ughhh Question? Am I crazy if it coming soon?
18 days ago
My husband and I provided care for the last years of my grandmas life. She passed away this past September. I was a trained caregiver. I am finally starting to get out of the fog of grief. I was wondering if anyone knew of benefits that would be available to me regarding my grandmas passing. I know social security stopped. Thank you in advance for your help!
22 days ago
Hi everyone! I'm new to this so have to figure out how to navigate around this site. Backstory: a month ago my 71 year old mother was admitted to the hospital with an unknown infection. The next day they discovered a large abscess in her lady regions. This infection turned out to be necrotizing fasciitis and she went on to have 4 surgeries in one week and a wound the size of a melon. She was discharged from the hospital after 3 weeks to a rehab facility and we are anticipating her return home ( we live together) in about 2 weeks. It's been a month. She's depressed. It's unpleasant visiting her because she isn't trying at all to help herself recover. She constantly tells me and my daughters she just wants to die. Currently she is still bed ridden. She isn't working with PT or OT very well and they are getting to the point where they will discharge her as is. Btw I have 4 kids a husband and I'm 34 weeks pregnant. I also work full time as a bookeeper. My mom weighs 350 lbs. I don't know what to do? How am I gonna do this? We can't afford a sit in nurse. And to make it so bad she isn't trying to recover. I'm so afraid and worried. She makes me feel horrible if I don't come see her EVERY single day. I'm currently running on a 6am-7:30 schedule every day. I'm already exhausted. Oh please help me somebody I really need some advice on how to kick her into gear.
Kathryn whittaker said...
27 days ago
Presently I am "caring" for my mother who has recently been diagnosed with LBD.
My frustration is:
Mom can do mostly for herself EXCEPT when she has mental moments,dizziness, and sleep 24 hours at a time. When she gets out of these times she becomes ANGRY with ME. I am trying to take over etc. She DOES not do this to my sister.
My "issue" is then I begin 1 to doubt her illness's severity. 2. The thought she has to have someone with her all the time Does anyone have any thoughts on this?
28 days ago
I have been taking care of an 86 year old male with Alzheimer's 24/7 for the past 10 months now. I agreed to be paid free rent and electric plus 200 a month. I didn't realize I was going to have to pay for his 4 pack a day cigarette habit, all of the cleaning supplies, his copays on his meds, and all of the repairs on the home with the small amount of 200 a month. Plus out of the 200 I make I have been paying part of the electric too. There was one month that i didnt receive any money. Does someone have any suggestion on what I should do about this situation or if there is any legal action I can take. I feel my kindness has been taken advantage of
about 1 month ago
I am a part time caregiver for my sister and my elderly parents. I live out of town (two hours away) but travel to help 2-3 days a week. I worked full time but recently retired because the weekend travel was becoming too much. My adult daughter lives at home. She has mental and addiction problems. My other adult sisiter works full time and lives with my parents. Since retirement, I have more time to help wth my daughter and other members of my family. My biggest worry is my brother-in-law who is my sister's full time caregiver. She was diagnosed with lung cancer and a metasized brain tumor. She needs total custodial care and is at home. My brother in law quit has job to take care of her. He is totally devoted to her and is extemely burnt out (as expected) For the most part, he has refused any kind of assistance from most agencies and friends. He is very angry, depressed and does not take care of himself. We all love him and encourage him to do other things when we are there to help. He takes much of his frustration out on me when I am there. I pray every time I go to remain patient with him but by the 3rd day, i give it right back to him. I feel quilty and ashamed and dread going back to help. But I will continue to go. I love her too. My heart is broken too. She was given only weeks to live 2 years ago. He has agreed to a hospice nurse 1 day aweek and an aide for a bath 2 times a week. We are grateful for his loving care of her but would take any suggestions on how to help him and how I can deal with his anger and criticism 0f me! (I know I need a thicker skin)
about 1 month ago
I need some help from someone. I'm 6 years into taking care of my mother and almost walked out today. I've been preparing her taxes every year to take to the tax man. She is insisting that one of her tenants paid her rent last year when in fact, they stopped in 2015. I am trying to keep her from paying a bunch of extra money to the IRS. She is fighting me tooth and nail even when it's showing in black and white that the last check from that tenant was in 2015. I try to do her a favor and she fights me and fights me. I feel like I'm giving up my life for someone who is not only sucking the life out of me but causing me a lot of extra stress. My therapist said that I'm giving so much, it's pathological. I don't have anyone I can turn to. I just feel like I want to die. Is it common for elderly to be so adamant about what they think? I welocme any feedback. Thanks.
about 1 month ago
Information, that may benefit you. Medicare DME (durable medical equip). signed for my doctor, one will find that competetitive bidding may be involved from contract suppliers. As my wife with dementia, fell broke her hip, the 30+ days she was in the hospital/rehab, was informed that with the physical/and further mental acuity loss, that I my caregiving was about to get much, much more difficult....... Now home required, transfer chair from stool to shower, walker, transport chair, hospital bed, lift chair. Now going to the medicare listed supplier, discovered that the transfer chair, was over $500, walker $95, Transport Chair $350, Electric Bed, $1600, lift Chair $1300......then you submit bills for medicare's percentage of re-imbursement........ Went to Amazon, for 5 foot transfer chair, $308, Walker, at thrift store $5, Transport Chair, Walgreens online $130, Craigslist, Drive electric bed $475, Lift Chair, Penny's $500. So just on one transaction of the lift chair, if I would have purchased at $1300, Medicare would have refunded me around $500, do the math. Good Luck.
about 1 month ago
My elderly mother in law moved in with us about 6 months ago. She was in the hospital for an extended period of time, then rehab then she moved out of her condo to come live with my husband, two sons and I. She has a developementally disabled son in his forties, who my husband and I will take over care of as well. So, he moved in as well and I've been taking care of his arrangements to get him set up in day programs here in our town. I work full time and so does my husband. My mother in law had fallen and broken her ankle shortly before she moved in. I took her to all her appointments, helped her with personal care, I'm a nurse. My husband converted our family room into a spacious bedroom for her that includes a sitting area for her. She has since recovered from her injuries, she's still older, but she can drive and get around for the most part. She gets social security and pension checks. About $2300/month in total. Our agreement was for her to pay $600/ month for room and board, even her cell phone I pay for her. She has a few credit cards she has to make payments on, but she likes to gamble at little casinos here locally. She drives herself there on almost a daily basis. She has $325 a week to spend after all her bills, contributions are made. She does hardly any cooking, probably like 10 times in the past six months she's been here, does almost no cleaning, except for putting clothes in the wash and leaving them in there until someone else takes them out. I was cooking nightly at first, but only to get much Crititism from her about my cooking. I don't cook much anymore. We order out and maybe I cook a few times a week as does my husband. She has completely taken over my house phone, I just use my cell phone. I help her take showers and do her hair, I pick up all her medications and fix them for her. I've wrapped her wounds, taken her blood pressure, even cleaned out / packed up her whole condo when she was moving into our house. I buy all the groceries here, my husband tunes her car up and fills it with gas, and we run errands for her as requested. Her disabled son makes her breakfast, coffee, lunch and makes her bed for her. He does help fold clothes and with little chores around the house. Now, like I said, she goes gambling almost daily. She's capable of driving herself there and staying for hours. She walks unassisted and is capable of doing things around the house, she chooses not to. I don't expect her to really do much anyways, however, she doesn't even try. She complains about everything here. Expects us to wait on her hand and foot. Skips her meds and complains she doesn't feel good. We bought and installed a shower bar in our bathroom for her. Now, she says that she can only contribute $300 a month to the house. I'm not trying to take advantage of her but, she has a gambling addiction. She wants more money to do that! She is not aware that I know exactly how much money she gets monthly. If she really was put in a position not to do the things she enjoys, I would understand. But, like I said, it equals out to like $325 per week that she has to gamble, shop for clothes, whatever! I don't have $325 week to do that! Help! What do I do? What do I say? It's very upsetting and feels like a slap in the face for all that my husband and I have been doing for her. Maybe if she DID cook on a regular basis and try to contribute to the household it would be a different story.
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