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Heart & Stroke Support Group

Caring for a loved one with a heart condition or who's suffered a stroke? Get tips, advice, and support in this online support group for heart and stroke caregiving concerns.

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What's New Today

5 days ago

I lost my mother 4 days ago due to heart failure, She was 80. Doctors tried their best but unfortunately she could not be saved. In last 3 days, I have read online about heart failure and I have a question regarding her behavior during treatment in early stage of her treatment in emergency. Doctors found high BP and 587 level of Sugar in her body, just after she was admitted. She was already having too much difficulty to breath, wheezing and coughing up white phlegm. Doctor gave her Oxygen but she was constantly removing Oxygen Mask as she found it difficult to breath even with Oxygen mask. Doctor had also added some liquid medicine along with Oxygen pipe. But she was removing the mask regularly, Since she was able to listen at time, I requested her to keep Oxygen mask. After that she tried to keep that. Can any one pls tell me if she had problem in breath then why she was not convenient with Oxygen mask and why she was removing that regularly?

Sheila1944 said...

5 days ago

caringcw said...

9 days ago

my husband had a stroke in sept and now it is dec . We owe a rental property that we are going to sell but my husband to save the real estate agent commission wanted me to list it and show it. I am already overwhelmed with work I have to do so I told him I couldn't do it. He swore at me and called me F bitch and other unsavory words. This hurt me deeply and I had to call my daughter to come our and media for us. James and I were both crying. He appolized but he was like this before the stroke. Angry and mentally abuse. I cannot leave him because I have to take care of him. He is 81 and I am 75. Before the stroke I just left and stay in a motel for 2 days. He cannot cook for himself or do other things because his hand is impaired. He will not listen to reason when he is out of control. I cant leave and so feel stuck however he can be left alone for several hours.

Sheila1944 said...

3 days ago

about 2 hours ago

Cfulton99 said...

14 days ago

Hello. I am new and would like to introduce myself. I am stay at home mom of three. My husband was diagnosed with stage 4 cardiomyopathy at age 40. He was implanted with an LVAD two months later. At age 42 he had a severe stroke that left him nearly completely deficient in his left side which left him bound to a wheelchair. Eight months after his stroke we found out that he also has thyroid cancer. He underwent a total thyroidectomy three weeks after diagnosis. When he had his stroke we determined that it was no longer practical for me to work since he requires 24/7 assistance and monitoring. All of these changes are taking its toll on me. I have difficulty dealing with the loss of intimacy in our marriage as well as the issues with going places due to the difficulty of transporting him and limited wheelchair access into friends' homes and our regular places of entertainment/hangouts. All of these changes to our lives have occurred since October of 2014. It has been a real shock to all of us.

COACHT said...

15 days ago

My boyfriend had a stroke on Saturday. It was mild, but has lost some motor skills on his right side. All week he has been appreciative of my help, support. Last night at the hospital, he said he hated me, doesn't want me there, and that I don't love him and I want to be with someone else. I'm crushed.

Sheila1944 said...

14 days ago

14 days ago

MimiGau said...

18 days ago

My dad had a stroke 5 years ago and my mom has had a TIA a few years before my dad. For the last 2 years I have been their primary caregiver. I am not well myself but their needs have become more important.

My mom had open heart surgery this year in June. She nearly died the day before but they sent her home. She was in the hospital for a week. I was juggling both parents at the same time.

If the stroke wasn't enough for my dad, he had 2 back surgeries, a prostate surgery. A year ago, he fell off a bar stool and broke his hip. That's when everything went crazy.

In the operating room something was contaminated. He's been in pain for a year. He had a second opinion and had another surgery last month. The infection is almost gone, but he will have to wait until January for the full hip replacement. In the hospital he had a few mini strokes but the nurses didn't listen because he was talking.

I am utterly exhausted since he's been home. He needs 24 hour care. My doctor and counselors think I have reached caregiver burnout. Can anyone tell me about how to get out of burnout and keep taking care of them?

MimiGau said...

16 days ago

Sheila1944 said...

16 days ago

Edwood said...

about 1 month ago

I am a caregiver for my brother-in-law who is 55. in the past 3 years he has had several strokes, survived colon cancer and lost the use of one eye due to diabetes. His name is Eddie. His doctors have given us virtually no guidance as to how to care for a stroke survivor. We are on our own when trying to care for Eddie. Eddie 's left side was affected to some degree but he shows no paralysis in his face and he is able to speak perfectly. But ou major concern is in Nissan personality change and how to deal with it. He retains some of his old traits such as his sense of humor but his memory in other areas is totally lacking such as in the area of sanitation. He no longer wipes himself but when asked why he didn't use toilet paper he insists did but there is never any toilet paper in the bowl. He doesn't' wash his hands afterward but insists that he did even when the evidence is against him. He seems delusional as if he's imagining he' s doing something when he's not. No matter how many times we remind him about his bad sanitation habits he doesn't seem to get it. Are there any other caretakers who have this problem with stroke survivors and how do you handle it? Ed

Edwood said...

about 1 month ago

about 1 month ago

Skhan91 said...

about 1 month ago

My father got married to 12 years younger woman in 2014. 3 months after marriage he got stroke. He became half paralized and unable to talk. I believe he is also unable to make decicions. We moved her to my sisyer place while my mother in law immigration was in process. Her immigration process was not easy as my father could not sign the affidavit of suport. We had to hire a lawyer inorder to get her immigration. She was very sweet in the beggining. After she came here, she stayed with my father at my sisters place. She started demanding about all of my father assets and asked us to make her joint with all of his bank accounts and habd her all the documents. She started treatening my sister and brother that if they will not hand her everything, she will send them jail. Afraid my sister requested her to leave her house which she refused. My sister hired a lawyer and gave her a eviction notice. She called the police and made a false accusation that her life is in danger. Then she hired two layers who came to my sisters house representing my fathet and demanded his documents. When they could not get the documents they left with my mother in law and took my father too. She filed a lots of accusstion on my sister and brother like hiding my fsthers money, house, neglect and file a restraining order. She took my father and now residing in a place we dont know, dont ket us talk to my father and have all the documents as court told us that my father is asking for his documents despite the fact that he could not talk. Please let me know how csn I save my father for more abuse. She is not capable of taking care of him. She has no place to live, can not drive and no home.

Sma3367 said...

3 months ago

My dad just suffered through his 2nd stroke in the past 16 years. Of course, this was worst than the last. Hopefully, he'll be released from the hospital tomorrow, after being there one week, & admitted into Health South. I am more than happy to a attend his therapy sessions cuz I feel I can better care for him at home if I do so. My conflict comes in with matters of his live in gf that he has been the primary caregiver of for the past 10 years. She's not competent to take care of herself due to the pain meds she's on & I worry about her being in his house alone. She's constantly nodding off while smoking, burning pans & crockpots on the stove & misusing her pain meds. I know my dad would want me to take care of her the way he has but I feel that if I'm not giving him 100%, it's not fair to him. She does have kids who either refuse to help her or want to move in my dads house. He physically looks fine but has problems swallowing so everything has to be thickened for him, he also has memory & speech problems. Should I be worried about her prompting him when it comes to remembering people's names & events & speaking to him in baby talk or trying to give him Coke to drink hindering his therapy? I'm concerned he wouldn't progress as much with her presence but I know he calls her by name & is always happy to see her. I want to do what's in the best interest for my dad. Are there any assistance programs I could get to help me with her until he's better? I mentioned to her that I could hire someone to help with her housework & her appointments etc cuz that's time I can be there with dad instead and she fills telling me that she'll just pack her stuff & live in a storage unit. I expected the mood swings & being emotional from my dad but what in the world can I do for her?

Sheila1944 said...

3 months ago

emptynest said...

3 months ago

Evil Lab Monkey said...

3 months ago

Since my two strokes (hemorrhagic stroke Aug 31, 2014 and Ischemic Sept 1, 2014), I have been in a constant battle with the evil between my ears. I have done a lot of scholarship on every subject, from disability benefits, depression, anxiety, to law for the disability. And still that is no replacement for contact with others with the same infliction. Feeling alone and hopeless is unbelieveable,and no one who had experienced a stroke befor can not take this into context how we feel, the embarrassment, and the isolation because of our physical or mental deficiencies. I continue Picking Up the Pieces with A Broken Mind.......

Sheila1944 said...

3 months ago

Sheila1944 said...

3 months ago

Lorelai422 said...

4 months ago

Hi all,

It has been years since I have posted here. My aunt had a stroke about 3 or 4 years ago. I was her caregiver for awhile as she recovered and eventually she was able to care for herself. I posted a few times years ago because her personality and behaviors, which were difficult before the stroke, became impossible to handle after the stroke. It has only gotten worse, but when confronted about the behaviors she claims it is due to the stroke. Has anyone had experience with this? She also behaves in ways that are unsafe and has little regard for others. She told me today that she drives down the middle of the road when she thinks others are not around! She also refuses to care for herself. She eats junk and doesn't take care of her body. I am in a tough spot between cutting ties for my own sanity and staying because I feel guilty. Has anyone else seen such an intense change in a loved ones behaviors and personalities after a stroke???

dcypherz said...

5 days ago

Sheila1944 said...

5 days ago

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