Dealing with your family can be challenging to say the least. Got a brother who won't help? An unsupportive spouse? A sister who tells you how to do your job? An aunt that just won't stop nagging you? Come to this online support group to vent and find creative solutions to your toughest family issues.
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To make along story short I found out from a FB post of pics of my youngest daughters and her bf of two messy years together- him ‘breaking it off with her’ for the umteenth time by telling her he never loved her. She has dragged me in this mess time and time again. The last communication with him was during the latest breakup he reached out to me which at the time seemed sincere, then to start cursing at me as my daughter is taking to me. I told her them that I never want to be around him again— now this!! I am livid! The only thing I can figure out it that she is paying me back for her fathers and my tumultuous marriage and sm stil with him— after a long separation and counseling first. Is any talk with her about this same ugly path going to do any good? And she and I never see each other but has tine for his dysfunctional family.,oh btw, they are both 33 and he is nit working. They lived with his parents for two years with him not working! She has a good steady job. So should I just not say a word to her about my feelings? I feel very disrespected in all of this. I love her but now don’t trust her. She is sure he is her soulmate!
about 1 month
I am so tired.
My parents constantly argue/fight/don’t speak to each other. One day is good and the other day its WW3. I’m always caught in the middle by my mother. She constantly makes me feel bad for not taking her side and says the following: I’ll regret not supporting her one day when she is gone That even her own daughter doesn’t see the truth I always take my father’s side How could i be so blind Her life is miserable Etc. Etc. Etc.
All while i am 33 yrs old and dealing with my own issues. That are just too far to get into. I feel guilty when they fight because i rather not here them argue so i will then cook for them, avoid them see each other. I attend to them as of they could not do it on their own. I am so tired. Regardless if they are ok or not the amiunt of guilt i hold because of my morher is unreal. My parents in constant pain because they are aging and i have to rub their backs and arms - causing me to then be in pain but i dont say anything. I feel so sad for the when they are sad and i feel like i am losing this battle with myself
about 1 month
My 37 year old son's behavior due to multiple head trauma has been erratic most of his life and lately even more so. As his mother, I feel responsible and yet helpless to do anything. I don't believe he is a danger to himself or others but since he has changed behavior recently, I can't be sure. Any ideas from someone with a similar problem or familiarity with bipolar behavior?
about 1 month
Lost my dad 2 weeks ago, my sister and I did everything we could dad was on board, in the decisions we lost our mom in 2013 so dad was on his own for the first time in his life for 2 years, he ended up with pneumonia we got thru that moved dad back to Illinois.
Things were ok, dad went to assisted living he liked it but was very lonely one thing that bothers my sister and I is that he didn't want to bother us, you guys have families, jobs etc, I said dad you are my family so what ever you want or need we will do.
Long story short dad passed due to a weak heart, my sister and I have no regrets but I hope we did enough and I hope we will be together again one day I miss him terribly.
My husband of 37 years is 70 years old. He takes meds for high blood pleasure, diabetes, irregular heart beat. He smokes 2 1/2 packs of cig. a day. He sleeps with a c-pap. He has had his hip replaced. He is loosing his strength and feeling in his hands. He eats, sleeps, smokes and watches TV. has hard time getting around.. His doctor has told him all the things that he is doing wrong but it is like he hears him but does not care. Why is he eating, sleeping all the time.? We have lived in our home for 22 years and we were in the grocery store and the cashier asked where he lived. He could not remember our towns name.. Am I loosing my husband. What can I do.
An anonymous caregiver said...
Im stuck with parents who are seriously mentally ill and they wont admit that, nor try to fix themselves. They argue all the time and put the blame on me. They're really narcissistic and way too much to handle. I'm 100% my mom is bipolar and my dad is a far worse story. They try to make me feel bad for EVERYTHING.
My father-in-law recently passed away. We were texted at 2 am the news. I need to also say that my husband and I had moved back in 1978 away from his hometown. There was no blow up. He just wanted a fresh start. Now all that family is left consists of a cold, distant mother-in-law and coldfish SIL’s. In the writing of his obituary, MIL intentionally left out one of our daughters. This is not an accusation but a sure fact. It had nothing to do with costs. There has never been a fallout with them for her to do this. She is my husband’s step daughter and has been in the family from the beginning almost 41 years, along with there being a step sister, same amount of time. Neither one of them were ever adopted. so why leave our daughter Out and not the other step? Not looking for an answer on that— just venting! We saw first draft and were shocked and saddened that she would leave daughter out of prefuneral family meal and also not mentioned in obit! Both husband and his brother was also not happy with the fact that step sister was listed as daughter!! But FIl’s sister had her own issues with exclusions on her end of things, too. And MIL was asking for a count for the lunch, With is two and two other daughters we were at 6, and with daughter and family we’d be at 11. So husband wrote her to RSVP with that number—really??? And she came back with, we can only take 6!! Are you kidding me?? Now after 41 years of being in the family, she decides to exclude daughter!! After BIL speaking on our behalf to the pastor, all of a sudden we can accompanadate them too!! And by the way with all husbands cousins and our larger family, it was under 40. And lunch was not plated, it was chili and dessert. She was all so sugar running off when we saw her at the lunch. Putting on a good front big time! She has never been that nice to me in her life! Short chat and I sat down. But SIL was snarky with me at the funeral home the night before. I was giving her my condolences and she said you’d be she didn’t want to talk to me and turned on her heels and walked off. I was a bit surprised, but I was not gonna go after her to try to talk- not the time or place! I decided it best to avoid any interaction with her after that. What did I ever do to you i thought?? Can just figure it was because of the conversation about the exclusion bs. That was all between husband and BIL to discuss. She’s a nasty bitch anyway. So I’m better off without her. I also caught her giving my grandkids the stink eye—was staring them down!! Moving on, we can’t really see ourselves visiting with BIL and given the now climate—why?? Any advice on how to handle this situation? I’d like to be cordial in it all for my husbands’s sake.
An anonymous caregiver said...
I am a 22yr old living with and taking care of my 73yr old grandma. I have been clinically depressed for 10yrs due to childhood sexual abuse. I'm in therapy for my own problems but am struggling to keep myself and my grandma afloat. My grandma is a hoarder and I am really struggling to help her sort and toss things out. The more I try to help the more she yells at me. No one else in the family is available to come help me with this. I am trying to help her with this so she can move to live closer to her daughter in a different state.
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