End Of Life
What's New Today
I am new to this group. My husband of 35 years passed away three weeks ago from a rare 911-related cancer that he got from working on the pile for two months after. We knew it was coming, and we were at least able to reminisce, talk about my future, and discuss his final wishes and what he wanted for me. I am glad we had this time, and so blessed to have had a wonderful life with him, and that he is no longer in pain.But I am still devastated. I was his caregiver for the last two years, and he was also in home hospice. I thought I was holding up pretty well. I am told I seem much more serene since his passing. But today the hospice people came to pick up all the medical equipment he had at home while in hospice and I just broke down and cried after they left. Somehow it got to me. Sorry this is so long, but I felt I needed to vent to those who would understand. Thank you
How are others doing that are no longer caregivers? The 11th of November will be two years, today has been a real hard day and found this second year harder and missing my husband more each day. Our lives completely change. I do things to help keep me busy but the loneliness and life changes are the same. I believe I was in the grieving process while I was careing for him but didn't realize it till after. I am thankful to know he no longer suffers the davastateing disease of Parkinson's,, adjusting to this new life isn't easy. I am thankful I found a home church that I have been going to and look forward to fellowship with the folks there on Sunday's and wensdsay evenings, it's a small church where no one feels like a stranger.
I keep each of you in my prayers that are going through the journey of loss. I Pray everyday for all caregivers here in the groups,Hugs and prayers to you all, Patti
about 2 months
Our 92 yr old mother is in a nursing home in Davenport Iowa....our brothers had us three sisters permanently banned 4 yrs ago (he was Chief of Police at that time and had ALL the connections) Our Att. Said, In 34 yrs of practice it's the worse case of Miscarriage of Justice he has ever seen. Mom has called and left message, I Love You and Miss You I want to see you it's been three yrs. We cannot even pick up. Last Nov. she slit her wrist, she told a niece, " If I'm dying I get to see my girls. At Christmas she was sobbing I want my daughters. The nursing has admitted to the Ombudsmen, Yes she's been asking for her daughters and still nothing. I have called every agency you can think of, our brother has that Court Order, he knew exactly what to do, he has everything covered. We are thinking about doing a rally to get attention on the Elderly Abuse, she has even said They yell at her (brothers) the nursing home has witnessed it, it's never reported, they don't stop it. Mom even told our investigator " I'm afraid of ..... The Guardian." We have spen close to $100,000 on att. fees, and they spend Mom's money to stop us. We are out of ideas.
Does anybody know an active support group to help me in a National campaign against this cruel end of life Pathway installed on people ? Whereby NO allowance for ANY recovery or potential recovery is given.
Please inform me somebody I need help with PTSS talking therapy not helping need the latest successful therapy that I know is out there but I cannot afford. Thankyou.
My mother was put on an End of Life programme by use of a 'driver', unknown to me (who was her full-time carer , ' I was sidelined ' by medics etc ) but known to my siblings who had POE was put on end of life plan by use of a driver installed. Mother had UTI which wasn't treated fully (she did have trouble swallowing). I was horrified to learn she was on this programme as I watched her deteriorate rapidly since installation of the driver and the medicines. Some of Mother's medicines were withdrawn first day after installation of driver including her HEART tablet. Mum had no fluids or even a drip, after my request after 5th day of mainly nil by mouth. It was mortifying to hear the GP's reply to me after I requested her to go on the drip, he said "we do not put people in a drip who are in end of life programme" ,I chillingly protested "my mother is pleading for fluids and seriously dehydrated during one of the hottest weeks of the year". Mother did have Dementia but major part of her days were of lucidity and cognitive awareness. Mother was 96. Mother suffered 9 days of mainly nil by mouth was heartbreaking after seeing signs of recovery after partial slow patient hydration by myself, yet my assertions to medics and DNs was ignored. Needless to say the time allotted end of life programme was fulfilled by the final deadly administration of injections given that night before she died in the home we shared. To this day I still feel mother may have pulled thro had I been listened to. Mothers death certificate strangely put as number one cause of death Old Age. I was informed by two medics that it is unusual to put end of life programme in place by use of a driver to people who do not have a terminal illness. Yet I do know old age is terminal but certainly not an illness. I not only suffering grief but also Post traumatic stress syndrome as I have been told by a therapist whereby I get flashbacks to dear mother muttering "thirsty" "thirsty" but Dns were not at her bedside to hear that thro the nights and early mornings. This U believe is potentially a national issue. As to me it is not unlike the Liverpool End of Life Pathway which was supposedly done away with.
My husband died after a Massive Stroke on June 10, 2018. He was hospitalized and on life support for 7-months. I had to return to Israel for the funeral. I think I have been numb emotionally as I have traversed this crisis in life. I am adjusting to living alone and not depressed. I have had so many details to take care of. I would like to communicate with others going through this transition.
Hello Community Members,
The end-of-life online support group is here to help you through all the difficult decisions and emotions involved in the before and after of losing a loved one. (https://www.caring.com/end-of-life). Connect with others willing to listen, and get support for end-of-life challenges. Learn how others are coping with grief, and post your tips and advice too. Come as often as you need to share, vent, ask questions, and feel less alone.
Additional resources that may be helpful:
Help spread the support to more people in need -- Please tell a friend or two. Thanks!