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COPD Support Group

Welcome to this online support group for caregivers, family, friends, and others with an interest in COPD care. Please introduce yourself - Ask for advice - Share your experiences caring for a loved one with COPD. Talk about symptoms, treatment options, side effects, daily life, your tips for others. Vent, laugh, and come back as often as you need to feel less alone. You can also find information that will may you manage financial and legal matters for your loved one in the Caregiving Money Matters Resource Center.

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What's New Today

Glo926 said...

2 days ago

I am a retired nurse taking care of my mom who has severe dementia and copd. The feelings of helplessness are awful

2 days ago

GRANDMAVCIKI said...

6 days ago

FEELING HELPLESS

lackofsleep said...

6 days ago

RVdoc said...

11 days ago

Deborah is getting out of the hospital today after a 1 week stay. Prior to this hospitalization she had stayed 1 or 2 days in the past. I'm very concerned about what to expect. Has anyone else had a loved one who has had an extended hospital stay?

GoldenPoppy said...

11 days ago

RVdoc said...

8 days ago

Honey16 said...

12 days ago

Husband has copd and myasthenia Travis any suggestions?

13 days ago

My husband has COPD. He is 72, and very limited on what he can do. He's on oxygen around the clock, and uses a walker to get around outside of our home. He still has his sense of humor, and does not seem depressed.

I am his only caregiver, and we are pretty isolated. His son and daughter (from previous marriage) live out of town, and are not able to assist with his care.

I find myself feeling sometimes feeling trapped, unable to leave without him going with me. Does anyone else experience this? Thank you for sharing.

LAJ2012 said...

6 days ago

13 days ago

My parent has COPD as well as other health problems and is in the hospital every couple of months.... Does this mean that the end is nearing??

LAJ2012 said...

about 5 hours ago

28 days ago

in Colorado looking to rent a portable oxygen consentrator constant flow 3liter for a week can pay $200 and will provide what ever info you want to ensure its return copy of licence with address 2 phone numbers ill even invite you to come to my house if u want

28 days ago

Hi, My name is Nancy, and I am 45 years old, I have never smoked, but I was diagnosed in June, 2016 with stage 1 COPD due to my hereditary emphysema stemming from Alpha-1 Antitrypsin Deficiency, for which I was diagnosed 7 years ago. I have been looking everywhere for information regarding life expectancy for emphysema. I understand there are MANY factors to take into account, so it's really hard to give a range. Particularly though, I am not seeing much information regarding people with HEREDITARY emphysema. Can anyone shed some light, please? Thank you! :)

DellaLynn said...

12 days ago

12 days ago

Katydid45 said...

about 1 month ago

My husband is at home under Hospice care and I can see him declining on a daily basis. Hospice is great but I still have the bulk of his care and I find myself in a quagmire of emotions. Some days I feel so sorry about his issues - others I resent having to take care of someone who has never made an effort to improve his health. He is diabetic, has congestive heart failure and a pacemaker along with the COPD. We have been married for 53 years and I thought he had everything planned out and under control. Because I have been the one who has kept a job and he has spent a great deal of time at home, I left the financial control with him. Looking back, I blame myself for not putting my foot down and making sure we were financially secure. Instead I brought home the salary and he collected disability and paid the bills. When his health started being an issue I found out that he had no plan for the future. When I asked him what I would Do if something happened to him, he said I could Sell the house and live off the proceeds! I was crushed and now I'm hopeless! When he's gone I can't pay the bills (he would charge purchases even if we had money in the bank to pay for them). And of course, he's been in the hospital three times in the past year, staying 2-3 weeks each time, so I am trying to pay them. He had to have an electric wheelchair but he's had 3 strokes and can't control the chair so I have a $2800 electric wheelchair and a $2000 hydraulic lift for it on the back of the new car he bought before his last stroke. So, on top of the caregiving, I'm financially ruined before I begin. Now, he has been home on Hospice since last September and has gone from a walker to a wheelchair and now is confined to bed. Throughout this ordeal, he has acted pretty much like this was my entended job all along, waiting on him, cleaning him and providing his needs. I've begged him to keep his muscles active and he wouldn't so now he can't use them.Along with taking care of him, I now do everything around the house too. Make Repairs, now the yard, cleaning and maintenance. I am SO overwhelmed! And everything I try to do to try to make things better for him and for me falls apart. When he could no longer stand, Hospice provided a lift and a sling. I was so excited for him because I could get him out of bed and into the wheelchair and he could get out of that room! The full body sling wouldn't work because it dropped him into the wheelchair in a recling position and he lacked the strength to push himself back into the wheelchair in a sitting position and I can't lift him to help. So I ordered a U sling (Hospice didn't provide them) and paid For it out of pocket. I was, again, so excited to use the sling. It, too, failed to work. I don t understand the inability to get into a sitting position - somehow he loses the sitting position and when I put him into the wheelchair he is reclining with his rear barely on the edge of the seat and can't manage to scoot back into the chair so I had to put him back in the bed. He is, thankfully, very acceptant to being an invalid. It would be very hard to take if he was angry and mean about his situation, but it's also very hard for me to take that he won't try to do for himself! I get so frustrated when all I hear from him is "I can't!", he has given up and I want him to fight the situation and that makes it harder on me! Probably I would find it easier if I could just accept that this is as good as it gets and concentrate on making the best of the time we have left. I feel guilty for having these ugly thoughts and like a traitor to the man I've loved for all these years even though he has changed so much due to the strokes that sometimes he's just an old man that I take care of. I have to make some sort of peace with this mess and promise myself that today will be different. Anyway, I'm here for the long haul and will just keep trying to make the best of it, for his sake and for mine.

emptynest said...

about 1 month ago

Katlizkinley said...

about 1 month ago

deacon656 said...

about 1 month ago

My husband has been declining from very severe COPD for three years, since his first episode of pulmonary shutdown and pneumonia in December of 2013. He was doing well until he started smoking again! About a year later he had another episode of pulmonary shutdown, which he's never really bounced back from, even though he no longer smokes. He has isolated himself because he's too proud to tote his oxygen tank with him, and he fears catching a cold or the flu if he's out in public.

Now he, who used to be rational and sweet and thoughtful, has transformed into a narcissistic, uncaring, angry man. He used to be understanding and loving, but he has completely quit now. He wants me to wait on him and does nothing but watch "guy" movies all day - guns, horses, gunfire, battle, etc. - while I work to support us. This whole ordeal over the past three years has brought about extreme stress for me, as we have no one at home to help, so I've become the breadwinner, cook, maid, handyman, and yard man. I'm exhausted, and my Dr. says I'm working myself to death because now my physical health is compromised with numerous auto-immune diseases, gut issues, and blood pressure issues that the Dr. feels are exacerbated by the stress. I work either at my job or at home every single day of the week, with no personal time and no help other than someone to mow the yard. I rarely get a break, unless I leave town on business, or a rare personal trip to regain my sanity. But money is an issue, so I can't just go somewhere to decompress.

Thursday evening I finally lost it. He greeted me Thursday morning with, "I don't think you like me anymore." His comment hurt me so badly, and I carried that with me all day, so that night I tried to explain how I felt. But instead I had a meltdown, explaining that I've given him my heart, my health, my money, and my sanity, but I wouldn't give up my soul. I explained that I understood his self-centeredness is partially due to his isolation (but I also know it's also because he was raised with a silver spoon in his mouth, and he never had to do anything. They always had a maid to clean, and Mama cooked, and if he ever had financial issues, Dad bailed him out. Of course, I didn't say a thing about the last comment, or he would've blown up.) I left the room in tears, again. Since that night he refuses to speak to me. He's pulling the passive aggressive card - punishing me for "losing it" - while I buzz around him, trying to create a nice Christmas atmosphere, cleaning, cooking, etc. If I don't do it, it won't get done.

He can't walk 10 feet without being out of breath, lays around most of the day, depressed (which he won't take medicine for) and he thinks I don't love him, or like him anymore. I think he'd rather crawl in a hole and die. That's what he's waiting for.

I've called a family counselor to help me, but I wanted to know how some of you felt about my situation. I've cried til my eyes hurt, but I cannot abandon him. I DO love him, but I don't respect him for the way he's behaving. He cares about no one but himself, and the man who promised to love me in sickness and in health, doesn't seem to love me anymore. HELP!

deacon656 said...

about 1 month ago

deacon656 said...

about 1 month ago

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