COPD Support Group
Welcome to this online support group for caregivers, family, friends, and others with an interest in COPD care. Please introduce yourself - Ask for advice - Share your experiences caring for a loved one with COPD. Talk about symptoms, treatment options, side effects, daily life, your tips for others. Vent, laugh, and come back as often as you need to feel less alone. You can also find information that will may you manage financial and legal matters for your loved one in the Caregiving Money Matters Resource Center.
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What's New Today
7 days ago
My husband has been asking about the end....The hospice dr came last friday and thinks he has less than 3 months left....they have changed his meds around to keep him pain free and comfortable. I understand that he is scared but he has been almost unbearable in pushing my buttons.....i have a baby moniter set up so if he needs me in the middle of the night , then he can call me....i am a heavy sleeper and he is mad that i don't wake up the first time he calls my name....but as soon as i hear him , i am right out there to see what he needs....
He and I are both ready for this...i have been preparing for 2 years...he just recently admitted to himself that he is dying. ...i am tired of living in limbo
I have told his brother who lives in las vegas that he will need to do something with his 86 year old mother because i will not be taking care of her....Told him i was moving out of Florida when my husband/his brother is gone.
My husband has become even more clingy which is to be expected but today he told the social worker that i should be spending every minute of every day with him because he won't be here much longer....i told him that it was not fair to me to expect that...that i will still need some time to myself each week
17 days ago
Haven't posted in a while, the evacuation for Hurricane Irma took a toll on all of us....but especially my husband....he is getting weaker and having a harder time breathing. Was able to address some of his fears of the process of his final moments postively with the Hospice nurse....
He has been talking about getting his affairs in order which i have already taken care of but am going over with him again to see if he wants to change anything.
Sometimes it is hard to tell if his health is declining or if he is being manipulative...Friday night is the only time that i go and have down time with friends.....Once I told him that i wasn't going tonight, he got much better as far as his anxiety and breathing.
Time will tell....but i will be setting up someone to stay with him on friday nights so i can get away
19 days ago
Someone please speak up. Please say something. I am all alone living with my daughter, and then my family member who was diagnosed with CPD about 7 to 8 years ago. My family member lives in a world of constant denial and not just about her COPD. She is in denial about things that go on around her, such as her daughter's problems. She can't seem to tell when her daughter is high, and stealing everything not glued down. She is in denial about smoking, and because withdrawls are to bad, she refuses to stop smoking. She's in denial that her health has worsened and she is losing weight for no reason. She is in denial that he chronic fatigue and constant migrains that only occur on her days off, are a problem. She recently changed days off, and instead of having migrains as usual on her days off of Tuesday and Wednesdday, now she has migraines on her new days off. I have witnessed her migraines move to her new days off about 4 times throughout the years. She looks like she weighs about 85 pounds and is now wearing little girls jeans in a size 14. If she has no migraine on her days off, she sits on her butt and does nothing but play games online or watch tv. She is barely doing any housework at all. It is all dumped on me to do which she is in denial about too. I'm so frustrated, and burned out. I am trying to raise my child in all this as well. My family member has tantrums wehn things don't go her way, and she seems to not be able to find things that are right in front of her face. Her, can't find it fits are aggravatting to deal with. Her skin is gray looking and she refuses t acknowledge that too. It's a constant berauge of, I don't feel good, and asking me to do it all for her. She goes to work, and claims that after work all she wants to do is fall over, and that is all she is about worth at home, dead weight for me to pack around, yet at work, she claims to work very hard. It doesnt add up and I think she is lying. The boss moved her from stocking shelves to putting up clothing and makeup and she complained for a year over how hard it is to hang up shoes, and put up make up. Now she is working paper work, and she sleeps almost nonstop. This week she came home after work and hit the couch, and was only up every now and then. That was Saturday, it's Tuesday and she is still on the couch, claiming that it's a migraine, which in part it is, but she is notorious for taking a 3 day weekend and calling in sick. Please help me. say something. Sorry to be such a jerk emotionally, I'm just fed up with all the copd scape goating, and lies.
about 1 month ago
We had to evacuate for Hurricane Irma. We evacuated to my ex's with my present husband and his 86 year old mother because my ex had a generator. We also had 7 large dogs and 10 cats......i am surprised I am not in the hospital. We lost power on sunday night at 7 pm....on tuesday my son got power back where he lived so we moved over there....i had to pack all of our stuff by myself into her van and my car in 90 degree weather with no a/c......We finally got power and learned that our home had not substained any damage on Wednesday...i had to go over to our house..45 minutes each way...and turn a/c on before i could bring him home.... After 6 days I was finally able to take a shower and sleep in a bed...i had let everyone else have beds and i slept on inflatable mattress.. Now we have to be readmitted into hospice because we evacuated to a different county
Jerusha James said...
about 1 month ago
It seems none of us are on here very often anymore, maybe it's because we are each dealing with so much. I am trying to keep a positive attitude and realize that what I am dealing with is only temporary, in the grand scheme of things it is a light affliction although some days it feels like a dump truck full of poop has been dropped into m life, again this will pass. My MIL is still smoking (outside on the front porch) and when I come into the house through the garage it is the first thing I smell. I guess I am going to have to keep a can of air freshener close by. If she can smoke then she is going to have to handle the effects of the air freshener. I have had enough of her damaging our home. Because she lived down stairs for a little over 6 years and smoked down there she has cost us hundreds of dollars to repair everything not to mention the $1500 filter we had to put on our furnace to keep the smell out. I am frustrated and trying to handle this the right way with out just telling her off because she is still disrespecting me in my own home, I will find my way. God help me.
about 1 month ago
I am sitting here trying to get all of our plans to evacuate from hurricane irma if we need to...we live on west coast of florida.. I have made arrangements with my ex-husband to go to his house 40 miles inland from gulf...he has generators so we can still have his O2 if we lose power there....we live in a manufactured home as does my mother in law and are first ones required to evacuate......am really nervous about this storm and i have been in fl for 40 years....kéep us in your thoughts
about 1 month ago
OMG! I get so bleepin' mad at her when she smokes!! I'm feeling full of rage, expletives burst out of my mouth where she can't hear - thank goodness, then the tears start to fall. This is one vicious cycle.
So depressing to feel this way. You'd think she'd quit just because of seeing what it does to me, her "beloved". What a load of crap. Mad at her for not caring about her health and mad at her for not caring to stay with me longer...7 minutes per cig yeah that's a lot of minutes stacked up against me.
I've got sooo much work to do around the house and on this computer it's not even funny. But right now I can't do any of it. No focus there, instead it's all on how I feel mistreated. This is just the sh*t, isn't it?!
It's not just the fact that she's had a butt, but since she uses a walker for mobility issues and has an inner ear disturbance she tends to get dizzy quite easily, any time she moves her head too fast. Add to that a lack of oxygen and yeah she can go down real fast. So, do I get to leave and deal with my issues? No. I can sit here and say I don't care if she does fall but of course I do. I don't want her to hurt any more than she already does and if she does get hurt who do you think is left to pick up the pieces and take (more) care of her?
Now she's knocking on the door which means for me to get up and turn on her concentrator and take the line to her. Yikes. Keep my mouth shut, please. How to cope and not burst?
about 1 month ago
My hudband's 1st trip to the ER was in 1998. He continues to smoke, never leaves the house, bathes 1 or 2 times per month, has severed all family ties, and ignores the advice of hid doctor. He is a Vietnam Veteran. 70 years old. I have tried all I know to try to get him to share his thoughts with me without success. I am reaching out to you for any suggestions. I do not want to give up; but after almost 20 years of COPD and PTSD, I am at the end.
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