Combatting Loneliness When Living Alone
Community to encourage ways of living alone and having someone to reach out and say hello and I care. Many of us have lost loved ones with no replacements to connect.
Help spread the support to more people in need -- Please tell a friend or two. Thanks!
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Eric Tausch said...
about 1 month
Don't know how to even open up. I am a single man, turned 50 a year or so ago. Never been married, no children, no siblings. My folks divorced before I developed memories. Neither ever remarried or had a significant relationship after that. My father died 10 years ago. I had to give the direction to stop treating his cancer and let him go. I had to do it alone. The best anyone in my family could manage was to call me. Last June my grandmother passed, and then two weeks later my mother. It was the same with my mother as it was with my dad. I had to give the direction, once again, to cease treatment. And just like with my dad, I was alone. No one at my side...no one to talk to about what the doctor had said. No one to tell me what was real and what was not. After she passed I moved back to a place where I believed I was an integral part of a number of social circles. It turned out I was not that integral, and some of the circles just didn't exist at all anymore, And I was alone. A few months later I came home and found one of my two cats in a catatonic state. I took her to the vet that night and I got to decide, yet again, not to continue treatment on something that I loved so much. And I was alone and had no one to talk to about it before making the decision. A couple of months have passed and my other cat is at the vet now with an IV and liver failure. It is likely that I will have to decide for the third time in 8 months, to discontinue a loved ones treatment. And I'm alone. If I lose her that will be the last living thing for which I have a legitimate two way unconditional love. Once she is gone I will truly truly be alone.
I felt profoundly lonely before 2017. And in 2017 I lost all. And it has taken root in my gut. It overwhelms me. I sob openly two or three times a day, and have done so for months. I see a psychologist weekly. I take psych meds. But none of those things alter the fact that I am alone, and with the loss of everything I loved, I am now also inconsequential. I have many many friends, none of whom call. I could be dead for a month and no one would know.
Now I am tired of it. I don't want to go on. In no way do I want to kill myself, but I sure don't want any more years of this.
I have gone to movies alone and out to eat alone for half of my life. It was a better way to occupy the time then sitting at home moping, but I often felt more weird and alone afterwards. I've even taken a week long cruise alone, on which I was able to interact quite successfully with people throughout the trip. I felt profoundly alone though I am pretty sure no one on the cruise knew that.
I'm so angry and disappointed and tired and sad and hurt and guilty.'
Thank you for letting me share this. I feel like I am ebbing away tonight and when tomorrow I will simply not exist.
about 2 months
It is possible to be lonely BUT, it's up to you if you want to be left alone... I am not a Psychiatrist but I do believe you need to slowly do more outside of the house.
Take yourself to the movies.
Call someone you trust and go sit in the mall and enjoy some ice cream. You don't have to say anything, JUST DO IT...
I use to be very shy, even to the point where using public restrooms was embarrassing. Until grew a set... ... Now, I am to the point where I can careless what people think of me and the best part about that is, Now I feel stress-free. After so many years, I finally feel like I can breathe and relax. These days I am happier, so happy I am back to working out which is also something that makes me happy.
I am now SLOWLY starting a home care business and creating different ways to be noticed which is a big change. I love it... And trust me you will too...
I read somewhere that you had dogs, why don't you put on something cute and take your dogs for a walk. Good Luck!
about 2 months
FEELING ALONE,,,NO FAMILY,,JUST MY 2 DOGS,,WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO?,,ALWAYS BEEN A PEOPLE PERSON, BUT FOR THE PAST FEW YEARS I'VE BECOME AFRAID TO MEET PEOPLE DUE TOO ALL THE HARM INDIVIDUALS ARE DOING,,,BUT I WANT A FRIEND, TO LAUGH WITH, ENJOY A DRINK WITH & MUSIC, TO GOSSIP WITH,,JUST FUN,,HOPE I DON'T DIE ALONE
Is there anyone that has lost their husband or wife, what do you do in trying to get through the grieving process, I feel at such a loss and am having such a hard time of it, I am sorry I needed to ask but feel maybe there's others here that can give suggestions for myself as well as others. Thanks.
I still am not accustomed to being alone. My husband and I were very close. He was very supportive of me and was my soulmate. We really didn't need other people. We enjoyed the same things. It is a big adjustment. I am not lonely and people do want to meet with me. My problem is that too many people want to give me advice. I am not good at confrontation. Most of the advice I get is not useful or what I want. I listen and rarely tell them what I think. Yesterday I met with a friend at a local park. I know she has serious medical problems and I feel badly about that. I need to learn how to tell people to mind their own business or something like that. Usually I say nothing. Still learning to be on my own.
An anonymous caregiver said...
I have fallen a few times.. I like walking but I don't want to hurt myself. I was able to get up alone. Two men rushed over to help me. All I had was a small bruise on the side of my knee. The roads here are very irregular. I always walked with my husband and it is scary being on my own.
I have a neighbor who invites me regularly each week to one or two meals. I appreciate her reaching out to me and don't want to offend her but I hate her meals. Yesterday she made a fish dish that was too spicy. I only ask for small portions as I feel I should eat what she gives me. After the meal I felt sick in my stomach. They also like to sit and watch TV and look at their cell phones. All things I find boring. She invited today for lunch and I just left her a message that I am not feeling well and not coming. She is a caring person and I don't want to lose her as a friend. I am in Israel and she is tolerant of my less than perfect Hebrew. She is a good friend. I plan to rent out my condo/apartment in April and I know that will upset her.. She needs people around as her relationship with her husband of 40+ years is less than perfect. With the language barrier there is much I don't understand. Thanks for listening.
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