Combatting Loneliness When Living Alone
Community to encourage ways of living alone and having someone to reach out and say hello and I care. Many of us have lost loved ones with no replacements to connect.
Help spread the support to more people in need -- Please tell a friend or two. Thanks!
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A fellow caregiver said...
I placed my wife in a memory care facility in September. I found that living in our very large house all by my self to be very hard. I looked around at available houses and decided that the memories that are here are worth the effort so I'm staying put. One thing I need advice on is what to do with all my wife's belongings. When she went away I changed the linen on her bed and left everything else as is. At what point do I start moving all that stuff and what do I do with it? TIA
about 1 month
I also care for a parent and sometimes I feel like my life is slowly passing me by I mean im a faithful daughter but sometimes I feel like she doesn't thank me for what I do .my other siblings don't do even half as much but they get all the praise sometimes I wonder does god have a special place for people like us . thank you
about 2 months
Went to the Mall, came back went to the pool and the music playing song " I just called to say I love you" started playing, oh my, it reminded me when my husband would call me from work every to tell me he loved me. I treasure that more than ever. Think of him every day, missing him so much.. Came back to my apartment crying. I really hope caring.com will get a group here for us all that have lost there loved one. Patti
Anyone else feel like they have less self-confidence than before they became caregivers and widows? I'm pretty much okay..not too lonely, plenty to keep me busy with something I like. But I worry about everything, it takes me forever to make a decision, and I'm still not sure until several months have gone by and whatever decision I made hasn't backfired. I've got things that have become "Impossible Tasks"..keeping up with watering, nailing back a few fence boards that have become loose, really keeping the house clean. It's hard to get out of the house some mornings, but I haven't given in to not going to school and I'm okay once I get there. I don’t know if I'm stuck or I'm normal.
Hi Everyone. I'm glad to say that I have made more use of the Meet Up site. I've been a member for years but have only participated with a couple of writing groups. Recently I have come across a weekly fitness meet up. For the summer months the leader is holding sessions outside in the park. The first meet up I attended we worked on strength training. It was only me and the leader. Yesterday was my second one. It was Pilates in the park. It was great. I'm so glad that I kept the commitment to attend. Still working on getting a regular sleep schedule and breaking bad eating habits like eating late or buying fast food. Everyday fitness has always been my goal but would love to lose 25-30 lbs over the next few months. I hope this meetup gets me on the right track.
I've got a couple of trips coming up next week and the week after. Looking forward to those and working diligently on my novel. All good distractions from worrying about when my house will be ready to move back into, which is looking like October-November. God-willing it is well before Thanksgiving. But I know it's all in God's timing which is perfect. Just have to be patient through the process.
Hi, Can someone please advise a way to help stop elder abuse. An elder in his 90’s lives alone. His wife died. He told me that he felt pressured by one of his wife’s nieces into becoming his POA. Now, he doesn’t know where his assets went. APS was called to investigate. This elder declined help from APS. This elder said many times, “my wife’s niece wants me to die so she can take my money.” He does not have enough to eat. He has cold cereal for his meals, if that. He is left alone. He does not have social interaction. Most recently, his wife’s niece, the POA, has threatened his friends that they are not allowed to visit him and they are not allowed to bring him meals. He said his medicine is not being renewed. He is from the older generation and is afraid to ask for help. His abuser is his POA. This is a extremely difficult situation to watch happen. He is dying. Is there an agency that can step in to help him, when he does not ask for help? He is being abused by his POA. What does it take for a court appointed person to take over this gentleman’s life to get his life and wellbeing under control?
Getting old is tough and to do it alone is even harder and when you having problems with your heart and stroke and PT and St diabetes and all the illness that comes along with the aging process. But we all have one thing that we can always count on and that's the love of the Lord Jesus Christ and his Father almighty Jehovah God who knows who we are even before we are born and he knows what we are going through.
Last night I had a bout with loneliness. I can't say that I was sad but aware of not having that special person in my life who loves and wants me. I was intensely aware of the absence of phone calls or text messages. It's funny because my husband didn't call and texted me that much. And when he did I was usually annoyed because it was usually something annoying. But every so often he send me a clip of a song or him singing the song, "I just called to say I love you." Man, I really wish I still had that voicemail of the last time he called with that one. Now I get nothing.
Then I found myself thinking about what Sheila said a few weeks ago about looking at this time in our lives as widows/survivors of caregiving in a more positive light. I wrote in my journal some good things about being alone. A few of them were:
- I can travel without limitation
- I can enjoy a day out of the house without feeling guilty for being gone too long
- I can arrange my bedroom the way I want and keep it nice and tidy
Nothing huge. Just looking for the lemonade from the lemons.
Thinking about others here in the groups that have lost husband or wife, how are you doing? I feel the only people that can fully understand what one goes through after their spouse passes is those that have been through it. I have requested here for a group forum for us, hopefully eventually they will. . I still haven't found a support group where or near where I live. It has been almost twenty months since my husband passed, I still am having a real hard time, sending hugs and prayers to all. Patti
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