Caring for Our Infirmed Adult Children
We are getting older whereby it seems we are the focus of being cared for on this site or in articles elsewhere but what about when we are the only parent and have an ill adult child to care for?
Help spread the support to more people in need -- Please tell a friend or two. Thanks!
What's New Today
7 months ago
I too am caring for an adult child with MS. He is 35 and has had it for 18 years. He now has Ms related demenia and is so difficult to deal with. He want to move and do other things like drinking etc. I feel I need to save him from himself but I was just diagnosed with a serious illness and feel totally overwhelmed.
Sometimes we just feel tired
10 months ago
My daughter is 20 and has medullary sponge kidney, MRSA, asthma, elevated liver enzymes, osteopenia, anxiety. The main problem is the medullary sponge kidney, it causes infections and kidney stones. She has passed 115 kidney stones and it will destroy her kidneys. I'm a single mom and her full time caregiver. Trying to link up with other parents of sick adult children.
An anonymous caregiver said...
12 months ago
I know how you feel. my son has been diagnosed with Paranoid Schizophrenia May 2015 and it has been a struggle to deal with him. he was doing OK in College in Virginia the first 3 years but he got into trouble with Police University one time and things get straighten up and last year be became delusional and thinking that some people are after him. in May 2015, He started driving from east Coast to California and hid his laptop and his cell phone behind bushes thinking that someone is keep tab of him or following him then his car get impounded in Kentucky. I spend about 8K between paying for his travel,my travel & my brother travel and car shipments and Hotels expenses. He was later admitted to a hospital for 7 days and I went through hell when I stayed with him for 2 weeks. he is now overseas in Lebanon with my dad and my sister. he is having issues with my brother who was also diagnosed with Schizophrenia 35 years ago and has been on medicine for 30 years.
my Son also does not admit that he has a problem would never want to live with me in Arkansas. he does not like Arkansas and he keeps on asking to go to Wyoming to continue his education. I have told him numerous times that I cannot afford paying for University anymore. I was supporting him for 4+ years University in the East Coast. He drained my saving. I am puzzled and often I go through very sad times thinking about him and what will happens to him in future years. I keep praying every chance I get and this is helping. Suddenly, I break into tears during lunch time at work or when I am alone at home & I feel very hopeless. Sometimes I feel I am just trapped and only death will end my misery. I am a single Mother and raised my son by myself with the help of my Mother who passed away few years ago. We lived with my Mother and my brother until my son become 11 years of age then I moved with my son to Arkansas for a Job until he graduated from high School. he was showing bad behavior at times during his teenage years but I never thought it would get that far.
I am not feeling good helpless today after I call my dad in Lebanon and know that my Son does not want to come back to Arkansas and also he is running out of medicine and it going to be hard to get him a medicine from Pharmacy in Lebanon unless he get a doctor prescription. My sister in Lebanon does not want to tell anyone except close family members about his condition because of the stigma associated with his condition. But I am still hoping for him to get better with time.
about 1 year ago
I have a sister who is 54. She is mentally disabled and has diabetes. I've looked at Independent Living facilities here in shawnee and found a few that might work but my brother/sister would rather see her in an AL facility. I haven't found any in Johnson County that will take SSL Disability, they're all private pay. we can't afford it. Does anyone know of a facility that will take a 54 yr old woman who functions quite well on her own but needs help with the meds in JOCO that will take government funds - Disability, etc for payment?
about 1 year ago
My son is 39, diagnosed with Stage 4 Burkitt's Lymphoma, spinal stenosis, combined variable immunodeficiency (CVID), melanoma on his right retina, and a malignant tumor in the right atrium of his heart that was too dangerous to biopsy. In early March we discovered chemo didn't work this time (in 2008 he survived Burkitt's), his prognosis became terminal and doctors gave him 6-9 months....not that they really know for sure. Having this time with him, being able to travel and have his friends and family visit, has been awesome. Over the past 2 months his pain levels have been averaging an 8-9 that hospice hasn't been able to control. Because the hospice doctor refuses to increase the one or two opiates that might lower his pain and allow him to be lucid and mobile, he is suffering. It seems his only hope to lower his pain is to be so sedated he sleeps and gets almost catatonic. We live in the mountains 75 miles from the nearest urban area so our medical options are limited. If anyone can offer advice I'd very much appreciate your insight. Thanks!
about 1 year ago
I am so sad today , i have been in a struggle for 20 years caring for my son who is now 40, I believe he is bi-polar , but in the last 6 years he convince his doctor he is adhd. so now he is on ritalin and its been a nightmare. Before he would go through long depression and then alcohol fueled mania's . Many troubles surrounded the alcolhol and it has been very expensive. He has not had a job in over 20 years and he is more reclusive all the time Now my husband is the only one who takes him to the doctor and , it makes me powerless. A good day is when our son is not irratable and angry. Even when he is happy he is talking to himself in a dillusional way. The last few days he has not slept or taken a shower for over a week and so it takes all my strength to give him a hug and smile . try to say an encoraging word. I cook he does not eat, I am feeling very helpless and hopeless today
Today I wanted to share with you that I got an App for my ipad called Toby it helps me keep my house work organized. I am going to be getting married next year and I will have to maintain my home and my fiancés home once I am married. I hesitated making the choice of getting married because I want to help my son as much as possible. I just have to stay focused and help him maintain the home and my fiancé is being helpful in keeping up with his place. Getting this App helps me see how much I have accomplished and how much I still have to do. I can get pretty overwhelmed pretty quickly If I focus on my problems but somehow getting tools like this help me step away a bit and accomplish goals.
Today my son is going through depression and anxiety. He is also obsessing about his weight he wants to lose 3 pounds he thinks then he can be happy? I took him to a physiatrist yesterday someone he had never gone to and she was rude and treated him less than an adult no patience for him at all. This upset my son and now even if her prescription was good he does not trust her and won't take any medication. My son has been without medication for a year and a half now dealing with symptoms without medication at times I am sure it is not easy on him but I can't get him to do something he does not want to do. He has been a bit more moody and frustrated lately I know that this is of no fault of his own. I pray the Lord watches over him always. I got a light therepy lamp in hopes he will sleep better and it will help his circadium rythem and he did sleep all night which is always a good thing. Does any one have any experiences with light therapy for seasonal depression and if so how did it go?
I just accomplished getting my living trust done. I am happy because I was able to afford it and get it out of the way. I can now file it away and let my daughter know where it is just in case. I did a few things yesterday and my kids have been helping me out a bit more. I am happy they know I expect some help every little bit helps and makes me feel a sense of relief and that I am not alone that we are a team. My daughter is looking for work and in the mean time I am offering her to do some of the chores I can't get around to for some extra cash of course but less of a burden to me. I had mentioned to her before that I could keep her busy around the house and maybe just cut out buying my lunch so that she can have some gas money to get to school. My son has been trying to do farm labor but choose to stay home and knows it is to hard for him to do. I just hope he can help around the house so that time goes by quickly for him and he is not bored.
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