Caring for a Spouse with Mental Illness
Mental Illness is different than cancer, Alzheimer's, diabetes, or other conditions that society accepts as organic and 'real'. Have you chosen to stay with your spouse or care for someone who suffers from a mental illness? This groups is here to support you.
Help spread the support to more people in need -- Please tell a friend or two. Thanks!
What's New Today
about 16 hours ago
My husband is having some problems with depression. I scrolled down this page and find that the situation is fairly minimal compared to most posts on here. We do not have any kids yet(we are still pretty young) , and he is not self harming, or harming me physically in any way. No form of abuse.
I em super independent and very self confident, however he told me tonight he does not like me or love me, totally matter of factly. It wasnt meant to hurt or demean me, thats just his reality. He cant say why or how it came to that point, cant tell me one single thing i am doing wrong. He has no interest in anything aboutour relationship or about me. I dont know how anyone does this- how do you fight for a relationship that does not exist- even if you love them?
about 18 hours ago
My husband has schizophrenia, not on meds he thinks he can control it himself. The problem is ,I am the only one he plays the mental illness with. I need help he seems to be distant with me . He is still friends with all of his ex's., they see him as his funny self and I see parts that are cold and distant. Help
about 22 hours ago
Anyone have experience with ECT? My wife is on 3 different antipsychotics and a bunch of other meds to minimize side effects. Her prescriber is suggesting ECT. I want to know if anyone has experienced being able to reduce medications. It is issue because all the meds are causing cognitive and memory problems. Thanks for any insight.
6 days ago
How do you know when you cross the line from supporting to enabling?
9 days ago
I've been married to my wife for almost 7 years. She has three children from a previous relationship and we have a daughter together. I always knew something was "off" with her, but it wasn't until October 2017 that she finally, after some risky behavior, that she sought help. She was diagnosed as bipolar type 2 with schizophrenic tendencies, PTSD (from a previous abusive marriage) and Borderline Personality Disorder. In October, she was admitted to the behavioral health wing of a local hospital and stayed for about a week and then completed 9 weeks of an intensive outpatient program. She was put on medicine after medicine trying to figure out what works and what doesn't. By November, she was out of control and in full mania. It was to the point she would stay gone days at a time and I would have no idea where she would be or who she was with. I stayed with her until I found out she was having an affair. My daughter and I moved out the same day. We were separated for about 4 weeks. Her manic episode finally ended and she felt complete remorse for what had happened and how she had been acting. We decided to get back together the beginning of December. She found a mood stabilizer that works great for her and things between us had never been better. But then....she found out she was pregnant. The problem with that is I had a vasectomy two years ago. I went to my doctor, got checked again, and am still sterile. After the initial shock wore off, I told her I would stay with her and raise the child as mine. That, of course, is what she wants. The real father is a childhood friend she reconnected with while in the hospital. He was there for the same issues, ironically enough. I'm having second thoughts about the whole situation now. She's been taken off all her medicine which means I'm going through a living hell right now with her moods. Not only her moods from the mental illnesses, but from the pregnancy also. I do everything at home, literally. From cleaning top to bottom, laundry, cooking, you name it. I had to quit my job because she simply could not handle housework plus our 4 kids. She has a great career, but it's hanging by a thread. I feel if I leave that will push her over the edge. But staying means I will continue to get absolutely nothing from this marriage. No affection, no respect, nothing. I'm afraid I will resent the child she's pregnant with. She is starting to show (her belly) and the pregnancy already disgusts me. She is in a deep depression now and I've tried talking to her about the way I feel but it didn't matter. She told me she doesn't care about anything or anyone, including her kids, right now. I'm overwhelmed and conflicted. I don't want to leave her, but I don't want to stay either. Any advice? Comments?
10 days ago
Really struggling trying to cope and take care of a spouse that has major depressive with psychosis. How do you all cope?
13 days ago
I feel so alone, my hubby, I thought was an alcoholic but now realise he has been self medicating for depression. We have been together nearly 30 years and I really am having trouble coping. I only have to or do or say the wrong thing and boy do I get snapped at. He will read some of my (previous relationship) daughters Facebook posts and get into his head she is trying to break us up. Last night he said he's had enough and how much money I want, as my mother would have. It was his birthday as well, He has had lots of issues with his digestion which we have spoken with the doctor, but I now realise this is all to do with stress and he can be so critical of others. Reading posts here I realise there is no cure and this can just keep going and getting worse, honestly I am not sure what to do, as we work together as well. Finding out he thinks I have taken up Art to get away from him, I wish I could have seen this much earlier in our relationship. The worst part is I work for him, so if I leave I have lost my job as well. Any suggestions?
19 days ago
My wife appears to have lost touch with reality. She swears things have happened that did NOT and is blaming me for all of her ills. I have lost my wife. All I know is they are treating her for depression and seem to have given her an anti anxiety. She has a friend who has a mental illness as well fueling these delusions. I have a TBI myself and am barely hanging on. Can someone who has been doing this a while tell me how to get through this.
30 days ago
Hi, My mother in law is struggling and needs some help. I am trying to find out if this is the right place for her to come and get support. My 78 year old father in law fell and broke his back. He was in the hospital for a week and has been in a rehab/nursing facility for 6 weeks now. She is spiraling out of control and thinking that he is dying and is crying about how they have been together for 46 years. She is starting to think everything is leading to him dying and all the work she will have to do when he comes home. He has kidney failure and has been on dialysis for over a year, before the fall. Other then the fall and his dialysis he is fine. But the longer he stays in the facility the more she starts to think he is getting worse. Is this the right support group for her to reach out to? Thanks for your help.
about 1 month ago
I constantly feel like I’m living under a rain cloud. I have been asking myself if I would be better off alone. Sadly most of the time I think I would be. My love life has been nonexistent for over 3 years. They refuse to talk about it and if I bring it up they say nothing is wrong. I constantly feel like I am walking on eggshells. I never know what is going to set my spouse off. The other night I was making a spinach salad for dinner and they blew a fuse when I added mushrooms that weren’t sliced small enough to the salad. On top of the depression, they also have anxiety issues and have panic attacks at the drop of a hat. I had a coworker give me a gift card for free movie tickets. I took my spouse to see the new Star Wars movie for free as a fun date night. The theatre was so packed all they could do was fidget and squirm the entire time and after the movie was over all they could do was poke holes in the plot. It felt like they didn’t enjoy or appreciate the gesture or date whatsoever. Like they would have rather just stayed home. I feel trapped. If I were to instigate things and share how I really feel and say I was thinking about leaving I feel like they would take their own life. They are so fragile. I am tired of feeling like the pack mule, doing all the heavy lifting, constantly giving them extra love and support and not get anything in return. They have stopped pulling their weight financially and refused to help around the house. I started working a second job because they weren’t contributing anything financially and I didn’t have enough to cover expenses on my own. I’m still struggling financially I am barley pulling through. Their anxiety has been so bad they have a hard time going to the store. They’ve also have been extremely anti-social. Telling friends we’ll get together and then breaking it off at the last minute and leaving me to explain why we are not coming. I don’t know what to do or how much longer I can hang in there. I am tired of feeling used like super glue holding everything together. I’m tired of feeling guilty. I am tired of hiding the truth and making apologies. I am tired of not being able to talk about it or acknowledge it. I know you are support to treat depression and anxiety like an injury or illness, but at what point does it get better? I’m feeling burnt out. I am hoping maybe a support group will help.
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