Caring for a Spouse with Mental Illness
Mental Illness is different than cancer, Alzheimer's, diabetes, or other conditions that society accepts as organic and 'real'. Have you chosen to stay with your spouse or care for someone who suffers from a mental illness? This groups is here to support you.
Help spread the support to more people in need -- Please tell a friend or two. Thanks!
What's New Today
about 7 hours
Depression runs in my partners family. It’s always been there of course, but after a move my spouse shut down. Now, 2.5 years out from said move- my partner is not working (and hasn’t) or doing anything to support me or contribute to our life together. He has ups and downs, which is why I struggle so much to believe he doesn’t have days of clarity and realize what it’s doing to me. He refuses to go to the doctor, counseling, really any of the solutions presented for depression. I’m at my wits end and just don’t know what to do. I break down at least weekly from being so overwhelmed. I know as a spouse this is my duty (for lack of a better word) to stand by him, but I’m 24 and it seems like I’m not caring about myself or my future by staying..
Yesterday I had to take my fiance to the emergency room because he was having a panic attack that resalted in him nit being able to breath properly. The cause was he finally wasn't able to controlle the voices in his head. One of which whats him to kill himself. He is currently in the hospital getting treatment and thats great but Im having a really hard time without him.
My partner finally confided in me that he suffers with depression a few years ago, He shared this with me after vanishing out my life for 2 and a half months and days before I was moving to Spain, because I thought we were over. Since then we have stayed together but every now and then he will shut communication off with me and our son, sometimes for months and sometimes for a year or more. I love him but it's affecting me and our son (who is 17) who thinks his dad doesn't care about him. WHAT DO I DO?
My husband has been diagnosed with depression and anxiety in the past. He stopped seeing a therapist and taking medication years ago and insists he is okay. In reality, he’s been struggling daily for years. We went to marriage counseling and, after months of weekly sessions, our counselor suggested he resume his treatment but he exploded in her office, refused, and accused her of “targeting him”. That’s his mechanism of dealing with difficult situations: defense.. which turns into anger and verbal abuse. That was about 2 years ago. Things have not improved. His anxiety keeps him up many nights. His moods are intense and unpredictable. When he stays up all night, he is just mean. He tells me I am too sensitive. He tells me he is losing respect for me. He can make me feel very small and unimportant. What I haven’t felt in a while is love. I feel like I’ve lost so much.
My husband is struggling with depression and we have had a good 4 months, yesterday turned not so good. We have 2 kids under 2 and I have ridden this wave with him before but it feels harder this time. I have no idea what caused it this time as things have been good. He has so much anger not necessarily at me but when he is texting me I can see the anger and pain. He said people pushed him this time and I don't know what he means. I know it is the anxiety and depression but it is so hard some days. I love him and worry about him and I know in a couple of days the anger and depression will fade out and he will talk to me it is just a rough wait.
Anyone know how to properly handle bipolar patient who repeatedly is verbally abusive. I have had enough.
Nicki Gordon said...
My spouse has been dealing with mental illness for a while. Years. The depression recently got so bad it required hospitalization. She has been diagnosed as Schizoaffective bipolar type. Any advice for me? I often feel like since I am not feeling things like she is, that my feelings and emotions don’t matter and that I can’t show weakness or hurt or frustration without making things worse on her.
My boyfriend recently has developed depression. We don’t know why, or what needs to happen for him to feel better. He is scared that he feels empty and doesn’t care about things. He is currently in therapy, and we think the move back home for the summer will definitely help him feel better. I understand Why he feels scared, and I know his thoughts are altered by the depression, and I know we will both work to figure out what we can do to help. At the same time, I’m worried for him, I have anxiety myself, and have lost my support system. I don’t really have someone else to turn to that will say that everything will be okay. I try not to let him know how bad I feel because I know it’s not helpful. What do you guys do to stay strong and to help yourselves remember that things will be okay?
about 1 month
My husband of 31 years suffers from severe clinical depression, is bipolar, and has a multitude of other "ailments". He is medicated and takes his medication faithfully. He also has been taking hydrocodone for the last 14 years. The doctors have now added morphine to the mix. I had back surgery in November and have fully recovered. He took my pain meds then proceeded to refill them and took half of the new bottle until I noticed and started carrying them with me. Just prior to him refilling my meds, I called his doctor and spoke to his assistant about my concerns...sleeping until 10 or 11, not bathing, not socializing. His assistant seemed concerned and told me she would speak with the doctor and get back with me. I haven't heard a thing. I truly have little to no respect for doctors as they seem to enable him as much as I do. It hurt that I finally after years of concern, worked up the courage to make the phone call and have it dismissed. This is the first time I've been in contact with a support group. I am meeting with my pastor tomorrow. I feel I'm at my wits end and truly don't know what to do, or what I even want for the rest of my life. Thanks for hearing me.
about 2 months
Hi I am very new to all if this. My fiance of nearly 4 years is suffering with depression at the moment. He's had a few traumatic experiences in his life which are beginning to resurface. He has become withdrawn, doesn't want to or have the energy for things...even though we do end up doing things together I can tell he would rather be at home. There is no libido at all and he is being totally honest and explaining how he is feeling to me which I am grateful for. I just don't know how to help or support him...never sure if I'm saying the right thing. Plus I get a bit emotional about it as it breaks my heart to see him.in pain. Any advice or a chat would be lovely :)
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