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Caring for a Spouse with Mental Illness

Mental Illness is different than cancer, Alzheimer's, diabetes, or other conditions that society accepts as organic and 'real'. Have you chosen to stay with your spouse or care for someone who suffers from a mental illness? This groups is here to support you.

Help spread the support to more people in need -- Please tell a friend or two. Thanks!


What's New Today

about 22 hours ago

I'm such a terrible mum! I love my husband to bits and when his well it's good, but when his not feeling good everything is rubbish. He smashes stuff up, slams doors, threatens to leave, etc etc same old stuff every time. And what do I do? I cry and beg him to calm down, my kids hear all this, although they are safe and they all understand his illness, I still feel so guilty. I should be telling him to leave, showing my kids that it's not ok to be treated this way! Why do I put up with it, because his ill and he can't help it! But does that make it ok? I'm feeling so confused tonight, just had another flare up, this time my coffee table has had its legs kicked off, and things have been thrown around and doors slammed his now asleep because he got in such a rage. I'm sat here battling with wanting to support him, to love him to make excuses and then wanting it to all be over. It's never going to be over is it. This is our life now. For better for worse in sickness and in health... aren't them words the truth!

about 3 hours ago

Wilady said...

11 days ago

I am getting to the point I cannot take it anymore. Any advice? My husband of 10 years is a Bipolar Manic Depressive. I have no support and he has become very verbally abusive.

January72 said...

1 day ago

11 days ago

I am so worn out. My Husband of eight years has untreated depression, and this association. Now he has developed delusional paranoia and what I believe is delusional parasitosis. Very resistant to treatment because he believes this is actually happening to him and he get so frustrated and angry with me that I can't see it. I'm at my wits end and when I feel like I can't take it anymore and I need to walk away he begs me not to leave him alone because he so terrified. I can't tell anyone and I feel so alone. I just want a normal life again and I miss having a partner and someone that could meet my needs sometime. He has no family around and has isolated from all his friends and I'm it that's left.

Harveymac said...

6 days ago

about 4 hours ago

gotogirl09 said...

22 days ago

I am with my husband of 2 years who suffers from bipolar disorder. He's struggled his entire life with mental health issues and many diagnoses. Just recently diagnosed as bipolar. Started new medication about 2 weeks ago and having some bad side effects. Having trouble reaching out to the doctor. We are both strong Christians but when he goes through these strong depression or manic episodes he loses his faith. He believes in God but feels abandoned by him. I"m struggling with feeling overwhelemed with his care, trying to work a full time job to support our family since he is unable to work, and trying to take care of myself. I frequently have to laeve work, cancel plans with friends and family, and even give up my exercise time when he has bad days. It's tough. Hoping to find some support from others who share my experience. Maybe some encouragement or success stories.

blee121891 said...

20 days ago

JMJ123 said...

about 1 month ago

I have been with my husband for almost 5 years. He has suffers from depression and anxiety. We have two small children. It's so hard. He's taking his medicine, and going to group therapy but there are some really hard days. It's really hard when he sleeps for hours on end, and how he has to visit his mom's house several times a day. It leaves little time for the kids and no time for me. I'm just looking to get support from other spouses who know how hard it is when you love someone, and get that they have an illness, but you feel so frustrated sometimes. that's how I feel today, frustrated. Today my husband got mad I made dinner and refused to eat it and told me my cooking was shit. Yea, today was one of those hard days

mesenjah said...

about 1 month ago

Hi, first off i hope this help is real. I've been with my wife for approx. 7 years. When we first started out everything was fine. I moved in with my wife and i would say for the first yr or 2 everything was still good apart from the normal arguments nothing serious, after maybe the 2nd yr. I remember my was acting little extreme. She has anxiety issue, all kinds if fears,anger tamtrums. Trust issues,OCD,

foreverthere said...

about 1 month ago

mesenjah said...

about 1 month ago

Justme30 said...

about 1 month ago

Hi I have been with my husband for almost 10 years married almost 5 . Late May he was dignosed with bipolar and sometimes I feel idk what to do and if I help or just make him worst. Sometimes he ask me how I feel about everything and I tell him we are in this together but he doesn't believe I still want to be with him or he is always overthinking something and idk what to do or what to say . He gets in moods and sometimes I feel pressure on me to be perfect and I'm not i am also a human . I just want to be able to be the best support and help I can be to him and no one else understands unless they experience it . Some think it's so easy and how can I loose my cool sometimes but it's not always easy . I hope just maybe someone can understand a lil of how I feel so I don't feel so alone at times like it's all of me

JMJ123 said...

about 1 month ago

Ar27 said...

20 days ago

Polo0412 said...

about 1 month ago

I've been with my boyfriend for 6yrs now and he suffers from depression. He is in therapy and it seems to help him but hi s therapist wants him to be on meds which he doesn't want to take them. He has had a lot of changes in his life this year which makes his depression worse. I've done a lot of research on how to deal with his behavior and I do love him but it's starting to get harder everyday. He tells me to stay by his side as he has many times checked him into rehab facilities because he was so depressed. I have thought about leaving him multiple times as it's so hard to deal with at times. I'm looking for advise as there isn't any support groups where I live

Cfay82 said...

about 1 month ago

I have been married to my wife for 2.5 years and we have been together for nearly 4. I knew when we started dating that she had PTSD as a result of childhood trauma and suffered from anxiety. I also knew she had chronic migraines and was recovering from a head injury. I was in love with her (still am) and figured that I was stable enough to handle whatever mental health hardships there were. Well, since then, the same issues still exist, but she has also been diagnosed with chronic Lyme disease and Multiple Chemical Sensitivity. She has been off and on suicidal for years. We have moved 5 times in the past 3 years, and I have changed jobs 3 times as a result of the moves, in order for her to find a job that she can do with all of her health issues. What has finally led me to seek out online support groups today is that she recently was offered a job that pays well and would finally provide us with financial stability (we have gotten into severe debt while trying to figure out her health issues). She started the job and worked for 2 days, and then realized that she can't do it. It is causing too many panic attacks and

Cfay82 said...

about 1 month ago

4 days ago

keetabird said...

about 1 month ago

My husband and I have been married for just over a year and I knew going into the marriage that he has PTSD, anxiety, depression, and is borderline bipolar. He is seeing a psychologist every three months and a therapist every three weeks. He has a 6 year old daughter from a previous marriage that we have two days a week. (The previous marriage is a contributor to his PTSD-because of it. he's constantly afraid I'm going to walk away, even though I never say such things and regularly reassure him that I am not going anywhere).

He works for 911 communications in our city, which doesn't help his stress and anxiety, but he is scared and doesn't have the self-confidence right now to look for other work. I am currently only employed part time (not by choice, I am actively seeking FT employment daily), which is adding to the stress factor because of financial concerns. I try to talk to him about my successes and challenges in my search for a job, but this only seems to cause him more anxiety. For example, I was offered a position at a communications center yesterday, but the job doesn't start until Sept. and I wasn't sure if that was the right move. I wanted to talk to him about it before I make a decision, but it only sent him into an anxiety spiral that lasted overnight, and this morning he was angry and irritable and got mad at me for simply trying to help him make his lunch for the day.

Then he asks if he needs to work overtime. While the OT would be helpful in terms of our bank account, I hate asking him to work it because I do not want to add to his stress level. I tried to explain the reason for my hesitation, and he got upset because I wouldn't give him a straight answer.. He left for work without saying goodbye or I love you this morning, which is uncharacteristic. I broke down and cried when he left because I don't know what to do. I just want to help him.

I know in my head that it's not my fault, but still I wonder if I am doing something wrong to set him off and make things worse for him. I am constantly trying to self evaluate and anticipate his moods and his needs, but it doesn't seem very effective. There never seems to be a "right time" to talk about the difficult things in life that you are supposed to be able to share with your spouse.

I am looking for a local support group, but have yet to find one. Thanks for letting me talk.

foreverthere said...

about 1 month ago

keetabird said...

about 1 month ago

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