Caring for a Spouse with Mental Illness
Mental Illness is different than cancer, Alzheimer's, diabetes, or other conditions that society accepts as organic and 'real'. Have you chosen to stay with your spouse or care for someone who suffers from a mental illness? This groups is here to support you.
Help spread the support to more people in need -- Please tell a friend or two. Thanks!
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29 days ago
Hi. I have been with my wife for almost 18 years. She has suffered from severe depression and a eating/body image disorder out entire relationship for the most part we were able to work through it but the past few years it has really escalated. I really do love her. But I really can't deal with it anymore. Now whenever there's an episode I become distant and want to hide from her. Ido t do it purposely, but that's what I do. Also she has started drinking daily for at least 2 years now and that definitely has made things worse. I want to support her and be there for but I'm just done. I can't seem to do it. We have two wonderful boys and they have grown up with it. She often will spend her weekends in bed. I do my best to check in whe. She says she wants to sleep a little longer. And I do that multiple times. Then when she does get up and is inconsolable and it turns into anger and tells me how many suicidal thoughts she had today. Anyways I could go on. Just not sure where to go or what to do with this anymore. Thanks.
about 1 month ago
I have been married to my wife for 21 years and we have been together for 25 years. We have two teenage kids and a few years ago I believe she began to get depressed. I cannot do anything or go anywhere without her or she gets mad. If I am not 100% affectionate and loving all the time she thinks I hate her and when she drinks, she gets extremely angry and irrational to the point of being violent. She refuses help and says there is nothing wrong with her. What can I do?
about 1 month ago
My husband was diagnosed a year ago with OCD, major depression, and anxiety disorders. He has recently told me that he is suicidal but when I took him to the hospital he claimed that he was only kidding. Sigh, how do you help a man who will not help himself? He drinks on his meds, won't take them like he's supposed to, and will only see a counselor when "he has time". I'm so exhausted, worn out, depleted, and angry that he chooses actions that exasperate his condition. I'm running out of ideas...
An anonymous caregiver said...
2 months ago
Today I'm feeling like the worst wife in the world and so selfish! My husband has been suffering with mental health for a while now, he had a few weeks in hospital last year and since then has had lots of different people involved but still we have no clear diagnosis. It's so frustrating, sometimes we feel like we're past from person to person and no one really seems to know the answers. We've struggled through, I've learnt that I'm not allowed to disgust my feelings or address the Alfie way he talks to me or treats us, I'm not allowed to mention the fact that he finds it so hard to do 'normal' family activities, if I do say anything ever it just kicks everything off, he'll smash stuff, shout at me, sulk etc etc I've learnt to be a single mum to our kids, to except that he finds it hard at the moment and console myself with the facts that we love each other and we will get through this together that it's just a blip and that once they know the actual diagnosis things will start to go back to how they was. But today I'm wondering if I should just except that this is how it is now, maybe we will find better ways to cope with it and we might have more good days than bad, but what if this is our life forever now?? I want to stay together, I love him with all my heart but I miss the old him, I miss our old life we had before he got ill and I miss the future I fear we won't have now. I feel like the worst person in the world for questioning if I can stay for much longer... I know he doesn't mean it but if he wasn't ill it wouldn't be ok to mentally and emotionally abuse me the way he does, so why is it ok now? I don't want my children growing up thinking this is the correct way to be treated, although I try to Shield them from as much as I can, it's so hard to have to hold it altogether all the time. I'm desperate for him to notice me again to feel like his wife and not just his career. Sorry for the rant. x
3 months ago
I understand my husband has a mental illness. Some of the things I thought were quirky now make sense with his diagnosis. What's bothering me is I see the good, decent, caring man he is, but clearly these people who are here to help him only see him as an opportunity to discover as many "broken" things they can. He no longer is being treated as a person but as a disease. He wants help. He's co operating and the results he gets is 1. He is lying 2. He's making great improvement but we need X,Y and Z 3. Well thanks for X,Y, and Z but that's not exactly what we were asking for 4. Well now we don't have time to talk about these things or they are actually the responsibility of someone else. I'm starting to loose hope. I can see the improvements with getting him on medication yet there's always something more then the previous time I talk to someone about the progress my husband is making. I'm done! Im frustrated! I miss my husband.
3 months ago
I have been married to my husband for 22 years. I knew he had some mental health issues when we got together but we were both young and not very well versed on such. He has since been diagnosed with BP disorder and is on medication. It has been very rough and trying at times but when he is "normal" he is a wonderful, loving and funny guy. He has not worked in about 6 years and often does nothing around the house. This is a constant thorn in my side as I am left to not only work FT but do most of the household chores as well. I also find myself raging inside when all he wants to do is sleep all freaking day and stay up all night. I keep reminding myself that this is a mental illness and of his good points such as not abusive, not a cheater, and such but it IS hard.....I find myself feeling depressed and angry when these episodes arise
4 months ago
Hello, My husband suffers from anxiety & depression. It began about 5 years ago with a breakdown. He recovered after some months and was able to go back to work and has since changed employers. Last month he suffered another setback and is once again unable to work. He has a short term disability policy with his new employer (he's been employed there now for a little over 2 years) We are in the process of applying for this disability. One of the followup questions the insurance carrier has asked is:
Do you have a past psychiatric history or a family psychiatric history? If Yes, provide details (relationship to you, diagnosis, etc ..
I was wondering if his insurance company can deny the claim based on a pre-existing condition? Has anyone had any experience with this?
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