Caregiving Wives of Stroke Survivors
This group is created to provide a place to encourage, give or ask for advice, or just vent to other wives who are full time caregivers to their husbands who are disabled by massive strokes.
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Any one else tired with this stroke world? It's like I live in a nursing home 24/7 with verbal abuse. After my husband's stroke I found out he left me with a financial mess. He watches TV all day so it's on me to pick up the pieces. It's difficult to feel empathy when your being yelled at. Where did that man go that I use to trust? Strokes are cruel to marriages!
Good day to you. My parents moved from England to Loris, SC in 2016. My father (early 80's of age) continues to rehab' from a stroke in 2013. he had reasonable mobility and energy and desire to improve but over the last year or so, that has ebbed away. My mother (3 years younger) is finding it much harder to motivate him, and no needs help to get him out of bed and out of a chair. She is very demoralised and is looking into how she can return to England with my father. My enquiry is to know what home help support plus stroke rehab/physio services available to them (to attend their home or collect/return my father to a centre providing the services. I am checking their BlueCross insurance as it appears it might cover some home services. Look forward to hearing from you and thank you in anticipation.. Fyi, I live in England.
I am the one who has the husband that is verbally abusive. I found this article that has described my situation. Thought I would post it here that it may be informative for any others out there dealing with verbally abusive husbands. There are a small number of survivors where, because of where the stroke occurred, there’s a real release of aggressive behavior. One unfortunate and painful aspect of this behavior is that it is very often directed at caregivers, particularly if there is a frontal lobe injury, which is associated with loss of empathy and impulse control. Survivors who are frustrated at their loss may take those feelings out on those closest to them. Survivors sometimes have a tendency to take their frustrations out on others, especially those whom they trust the most and they are closest to. Survivors who have some frontal lobe involvement have less capacity for inhibiting their impulses than the rest of us do. Impulsive survivors are the ones most likely to verbally lash out It's hard enough without adding this form of abuse! Does anyone else out there have a husband that does this?
Having a low time. My 64 year old husband had a stroke a few years ago that affected his balance & he does not work & is inside the house with me. His life is watching youtube, talking, eating, pooping and what he would like for dinner. He has NO empathy or compassion for me. If I try to share anything, he'll cut me off to talk about what he wants. It's all about him. It's been like this for 3 years. Our place looks abandoned & is falling apart. He can walk, shower & do things but, he'd rather not. In fact he walks right past simple things he could do. He does not fear God or desire to know Him. He jokes & talks. People who visit thinks he's so nice. He has no responsibilities. It saddens me to think my life has been thrown into this. miserable marital bondage. The love has slowly been eaten away. Now, it's just a duty.He is content. I am not! It's days like today, I wish I could get out of this bondage yet we are financially dependent on each other. Needed to vent!
I feel like im just existing in a nightmare that I cant wake up. The stroke has taken over our life!
about 1 month
It’s been a tough month and has ended with putting my 68 year old husband in a long term facility. He was in a rehab facility, but Medicare said he wasn’t improving so he had to go to long term care. He is considered a 2 assist & I am by myself. I also need to work & can’t afford to higher anyone to stay with him.
He is only about two blocks away. There also people are the facility he knows. So hard to put such a young man in a facility, especially when he was so active before his stroke.
about 2 months
My husband complains about me to the family. He lays in bed listening to YouTube all day & I think he imagines things. I have become his whipping post. As the years go by our whole family dynamics has changed. Listening to him complain about me has changed who I use to be in the eyes of my adult children. The stroke stole not only my marriage but the respect of my family. I tried to explain that it is the stroke talking but their hearts feel so sorry for him they don't hear my words. My husband will turn on me in a heartbeat. Yet, he is nice to everyone who visits or is on the phone. If I were young and my dad complained all the time about my mom, I would tend after a while to believe my dad...that's my dad! The stroke stole so much more than even my marriage.
about 2 months
Hi, I would really appreciate some advice from you all. My husband had a stroke about 6 weeks ago. He has been in inpatient rehab for most of the time. Soon he will be returning home. I will be caring for him for a majority of the time. I am wondering, what is the hardest part of transitioning back into "real life" both for him and for me. Thanks
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