Caregiving Wives of Stroke Survivors
This group is created to provide a place to encourage, give or ask for advice, or just vent to other wives who are full time caregivers to their husbands who are disabled by massive strokes.
What's New Today
12 days ago
My husband is 53 and suffered a stroke March 28th because of a chiropractor. He is now walking like he never had a stroke..to look at him youd never know except his right arm but he's getting movement in it more and more. He has Aphasia severely.. His personality is still sweet. He depends on me like no other..he doesn't know colors, shapes and sometimes does some off the wall things..But he understands EVERYTHING. Here's my problem..I am so angry with him I told him tonight I hate him..he has hurt me to a point I dont know if I can ever get past it. The morning of his stroke I heard him hit the floor, I came running downstairs, looked at him and knew..I grabbed his phone because mine was upstairs. As soon as I turned it on I saw a message from a women..I called 911 and quickly read the brief message..He had called her and she was sorry she had her phone off..I called the number and told her who I was and told her to loose his number as I was driving to the hospital..Fast forward..I found naked pictures women sent him..naked pictures of himself he had sent to women..dating sites he was on including Ashley Madison. Since March 28th I've never spoke about this to anyone...Untill I lost it and told him everything I knew..of course I dont understand what he says..This was a few weeks ago. Today I found out this had started Aug 2016 till his stroke March 28th...It started 3 MONTHS After Our Wedding !!! I dont feel like I can continue being his "wife"..hahaha who am I kidding all I am is his caregiver..he hasn't tryed or been interested in sex..he didnt touch me for over a month before his stroke. I told him exactly how I feel..I dont want to be his wife anymore..I took off my rings and I'm on the couch..he said something I cant understand had tears in his eyes.. I dont care. There is NO ONE other then me to care for him..thats probably his worrie. I dont know what to do...How do I stay ?? .how do I leave him ?? Do I just take care of him and have a separate life ???
14 days ago
My husband had his stroke July 7th 2016....he has always been quick to anger; and was emotionally and physically abusive before he ever had his stroke....my biggest fear has come true his personality/temperment didn't get any better not at all....just the opposite; he is far worse than I ever imagined he could ever be....each day is full of his fits; his screaming blowups and filters nothing I would have never believed a man would ever dare speak to his wife in such a cruel, fowl fulgar manner and in front of who ever is unlucky enough to be around when he blows up and the physical abuse is worse than ever also.
21 days ago
I am just looking into finding a support group to help me not get to depressed due to my husband's 7th stroke. The 6th he lost peripheral vision, 7th lasting effect was being nonverbal. It's very hard, he got out of the hospital March 17,2017. Have been to couple Dr spots, back to the hospital for stint on one side. Supposed to do other side in a month. Can't leave him alone but he is afraid of getting in the car to go out. So have been out of the house 6 times since March 17th. Going stir crazy, don't have tv either. Ideas suggestions helpful, please and thank you
29 days ago
Sometimes there is nothing you can do. You care for them and love them. Make sure their eating and taking their meds. Watching over them while they sleep,but when their time here on earth is over you must kiss them good bye and live on. Ron passed away on Sunday May 21,2017 at 2:19 pm. His heart no longer to beat life into him and passed from a heart attack on the way to the hospital.
about 1 month ago
My husband suffered his stroke 2/17. We have excellent health insurance (bc/bs) which is a blessing! Husband was in hospital for 1 month 1 week and was admitted to the subacute unit on 2/16/17. I went to the hospital EVERY day to help and support him. He was released on 3/9/17 and was placed on in-home PT and speech. He started back to work on April 10 part-time and is about to go back fulltime. Prior to his stroke, we have not been intimate due to his "ED" because of high blood pressure and his high blood sugars. Never once did I make him feel bad about it because he recognized the problem. Now that the stroke has happened, he really doesn't have that much function in that area even with the aide of a pill. I don't mention it because I know some men feel their "worth" when it comes to sex. My husband has become so EVIL and verbally abusive since this has happened. He's not the caring and loving individual he was prior to this happening. I know and I am very aware of his emotions and understand his feelings because he's not able to do the things he's done prior to this happening. I am okay with this. I try and reassure him that I'm with him every step of the way. I encourage him and always put myself last, but it's getting to the point where he is so NASTY! Not only to me, but to the people who are helping him (PT). My feelings are so hurt that I have no one else to talk to. I have another girlfriend whose going through the same thing, but she's not in a position to help. I just need to know how can I get through this without loosing my mind. It's like he thinks I'm cheating on him and I'm suppose to stay home with him when he's home all the time. I have girlfriends that I go out to dinner with for a change of pace. I go to church and work. He has the ability to drive, bath and feed himself. It's like I'm suppose to put my life on hold to take care of him. Am I not suppose to have a life? I'm tired! The hole time he was in the hospital, I went to work, church, hospital and vice-versa. Ladies help me out. I'm burnt out. We are both 53 yearls old.
His stroke affected his right side and speech.
about 1 month ago
I am 42 and my husband will be 43 this August. We have great insurance which is a blessing! My husband's stroke happened a year ago this month. He has complete use of his right side and is verbal. His left leg is coming around but his arm is flaccid. We have two children who are ages 3 and 7 years old. I find everyday extremely challenging. I have no help to speak of and am on constant errand runs.....school, daycare, Pt/Ot etc. I am always exhausted and can't even find the time for a good cry! I'm angry all the time, always apologizing and find that my husband and I have nothing in common.... except for the caregiver/patient communication. I don't know how to save our marriage. There are no boundaries anymore. He's like one of my children. I just don't know how to keep our 21 years together from cracking. To make matters worse. If he doesn't return to work soon he'll end up without that too. Like him, I feel completely helpless. I just want to run as fast as possible, but to where, I have no idea.
2 months ago
I have been searching for a support group for exactly this. I'm the resident caregiver, 70 years old and totally responsible for husband who will be 76 next month. He has excellent medical care through VA, that's not a concern. Multiple strokes starting 5 years ago with the big one. He lost his problem solving and higher function, which put him squarely in my lap since then. We have been a separate couple for years, his travel and working long spells far away was how we stayed married, if you can understand that. So I'm well into 5 years of being sort of his mom, functionally. Our adult kids are busy, try to help when they can, but it's all down to me. I'm frankly pooped. He's had many TIA events and has continued to lose cognizance and ability with each. The latest small setbacks mean he needs help even more. I kind of want to go out on the porch and shriek. How do you all deal with the ongoing losses?
Caregiver 4 greatness said...
2 months ago
I have been a caregiver for 10 years . When my husband had his stroke in October 2016 , my whole world has been crazy . I continue to work because I must, thankfully it was not bad , but it is a serious drain on me . His short term memory is just that , not to mention how he has trouble with forgetting what he wants to say, before he completes his thoughts . I totally feel like I am loosing my own mind .
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