Caregiving Wives of Stroke Survivors
This group is created to provide a place to encourage, give or ask for advice, or just vent to other wives who are full time caregivers to their husbands who are disabled by massive strokes.
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Hi everyone. I was wondering if anyone on this site has had a similar problem as mine.
My husband has had 2 major strokes in the past 2 1/2 weeks. The first one landed him in the hospital. At that time he was unable to speak but everything else was the same as before it. Then he got a second stroke a few days later on the other side of his brain. Also got pneumonia. At that time he was unresponsive.
Now to the present. His pneumonia is gone. He opens his eyes very frequently. He blinks. He follows your voice with his eyes. He makes noises trying to communicate. He has control of his tongue. He moves his legs up and down...his arms not so much.
Does this sound hopeful to anyone? Has something like this happened to anyone in this group? I would greatly appreciate any responses.
I’m not doing well today. Really all this week. I’m tired. Completely drained. My back hurts. And I just want to sit in a corner and cry. Yea, I know waaa me. Yea, I know it could be worse. This is how I feel right now. They won’t change my depression meds because “it’s a hard time right now, there is no magic med”. I can’t work out like I was because I was just told that due to my 2 back surgeries, I can’t do what I love. I’m just F’N angry and sad. Our anniversary was yesterday. Yay! We fought. I don’t even want to be in the same room. I am watching him slowly kill himself. And it’s a horrible thing. Oh and we found out he is diabetic. But has that slowed him down? Hell no. He is worse now than ever when it comes to what he puts in his body. Sigh. So tired.
An anonymous caregiver said...
April 4, 2017 my husband had a stroke and we had just gotten married in December 2016. His left side was affected. He has made a tremendous recovery as he currently walks with a limp but still has limited mobility in his left hand. He was a truck driver who worked for himself and because he did not think of rainy days he had no insurance and no savings EVERYTHING fell on me. I am frustrated because I realized that he has lied about pretty much everything and so I have taken on all his expenses plus the expenses of my 3 children 2 are currently in college.
At this time I am more concerned about his mental well being as he is having phone conversation with his son but the number is disconnected and he is having hour long conversations with no one. He blames me for him getting fired because he went back to driving although his license was suspended and he was no longer able to do the work. He is not eligible for SSI because I make to much money and SSD because he did not pay enough into it. His children are adults but are of no help his daughter has several children and is always asking for money. He constantly wants to argue about everything and nothing. I am 46 he is 54 our sex life is null and void.. All I want is peace of mind Is this going to be my life for the next 20-30 years?
An anonymous caregiver said...
Im going in and out of depression. Not clinically. My husband had a stroke in the ER when they lowered his BP, besides still being angry about that, I have not support system. No one I know gets it. Family I grew up with don't call or ask about him or myself. Parents don't care, daughters grown and married, living in other states. We didn't communicate the best before, he clams up, now he cant communicate even as well as before and still doesn't. We travel some. I am a 55 yr old healthy female. He is 64, healthy for the most part, impaired right arm and hand, speech better but not all there, walks with a limp, cant balance well...…..is this how it is the rest of our lives?? GOd is giving us our first grandchild...…..IM so tired of caregiving for him and before my husband my aunt and uncle.....not wanting to babysit, I don't knw what I need……...I am searching searching...…..is this how it is for the next 20-30 years??? Fun is limited with him, we used to kayak and hike and boat, cant even do simple things like go to the fair without difficulties......I don't even know what Im asking
Really lost I've been doing every thing on my owen but it's getting to be to much i am going to talk to my. Husband therapist tomorrow but I'm at the point of taken him to the hospital and have them find a reason to keep him cause he thinks I'm leaving just going to the bathroom I'm really need some guidance i can't take anymore I Love him but I'm only one person and he thinks i can do it all by my self
Another great night. Up till 2:30 am. Comes home bad mood, drinking, and by 9:30 bitching about everything. I go to bed. He going to shoot himself..kids jumping out window by 11.. I'm up driving around town looking for him..he breaks windshield in car..kids fighting instead of shutting up..wow glad to deal with drama and stupid shit..
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