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Caregiving Wives of Stroke Survivors

This group is created to provide a place to encourage, give or ask for advice, or just vent to other wives who are full time caregivers to their husbands who are disabled by massive strokes.


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woolncathairs said...

17 days ago

What's on my mind? Most of my life is comprised of living with a man I do not like at all. He cannot help having had a stroke but he has refused to try to get any better for whatever reason. He would prefer to sit in the wheelchair than to get up and walk with a cane. His doctor has told him he should be much farther along by now but as soon as he gets home, he plops himself right back down in the chair. He constantly whines for me to 'help' with things he should have been able to do two months ago. The tone is leaving his legs and arms rapidly and I imagine he will be to the point where he will not be able to recover as much as if he had tried. Everyone asks me if he is depressed. WHO ISN'T? I'm so depressed I could jump off the roof of the house. He lost several jobs before the stoke - he told our daughter he just wanted to 'do nothing'. Sure, I'd love to do nothing too, but now I can't and because of the financial situation he has left himself in, I'll be working longer than I planned to. If I am doing everything and repairing everything by myself - I'd be happier doing it all by myself. His favorite words for the 30 years I've known him have been 'I can't' and 'I need help'. If I ever get out of this mess, I will go crawl in the bushes somewhere and die when my time comes rather than EVER put myself in this situation again.

scoozie said...

14 days ago

woolncathairs said...

14 days ago

scoozie said...

20 days ago

Extreme personality change after stroke

Sonjii said...

29 days ago

I'm so tired.I wish I could close my eyes and die. He choked me today in front of our children. I am tired of this.

Est123 said...

28 days ago

30 days ago

My 60 YO husband had been diagnosed with prostate cancer and while in recovery following a successful surgery, he had a massive stroke in his brain stem. The result is locked in syndrome.....he is completely paralyzed and can only communicate with his eyes. Now, 3 months later, he is home and my sister and I care for him. He cant talk,talk or eat but he is completely aware of what is going on around him. He has a tube for feeding, a trach for humidity and he sleeps a lot. Often he is very emotional and at times, angry with me. I am so depressed and sometimes wish he had not survived the stroke.... We have cried a lot together. I am applying for Medicaid to get additional help as my sister and I are exhausted from 6 weeks of 24 hr care. Everything has changed in our lives and I am considering when I will have to put him in a facility. I can't picture my life without him...after 32 years...I sometimes wish I could go with him. I keep reading that locked in syndrome is not something you can recover from but that people have built meaningful lives despite their condition...I don't know how they do it.

prtlysny said...

about 1 month ago

I am constantely downcast

prtlysny said...

about 1 month ago

tif b;l;;tp334 said...

28 days ago

MommaBear75 said...

about 1 month ago

Looking for some advise. In August of this year, my 42 year old husband suffered 2 ruptured brain aneurysms, resulting in a stroke in the front left brain. After spending 31 days in a neurosurgical ICU, 30 days in an LTAC, he is currently in a skilled nursing facility. His recovery is slow, but consistent. He cannot walk, talk, etc... but he can move his extremities, chew and swallow (though he still has his PEG as his main source of nutrition), and is aware and responds appropriately to family, friends, and staff (smiles, laughs, smirks, etc). Therapy continues to work with his daily. My issue - I'm having a hard time separating my role as care giver and my role as his spouse. I spend early mornings with him, go to my full time job, take my lunch to help with his therapy, then back to work until 5. Afterwards, I head back to the facility and stay until around 7 - when I go pickup our 10 year old daughter from her sitter and head home of dinner. This goes on 5 days a week, and we spend the weekends with his at the facility, I help out all I can, but I find myself getting frustrated and depressed. I miss our talks and time together as a couple and as a family. I know things will never be the same again, but will it get any easier? I wish I could go back to just being his spouse.

SandyCim said...

about 1 month ago

AJ Enger said...

about 1 month ago

Turtle64 said...

2 months ago

I just found this site. I have been dealing with the fallout from my husband's stroke the past several years. No one seems to understand the impact because he wasn't paralyzed and there is nothing obvious to the casual observer. The personality change, depression, memory issues, etc. are wearing me down. I want to be supportive and I try to be, but I am starting to wonder if I can continue. I love him but feel like I'm developing resentment. Ugh, does this ever get better?

12 days ago

prtlysny said...

3 days ago

IHStrokes said...

4 months ago

I feel so guilty. My husband had a bad stroke July 1 and lost most of his left side. He had been getting some feeling back, but in the meantime, I am packing up our home as its up for sale now. I have had to start working more hours – and I am starting to dislike him. For decades, I asked him to stop chewing tobacco and lose some weight – he just ignored me – well not that those two reasons caused the stroke but they didn’t help. I am so angry. I am so lonely. He doesn’t remember and the personality he has is not his old one. How do wives get through this? I feel so guilty – sometimes I just wish he would die so I could make plans and get on with life. I know that is awful and I am only thinking about myself, but I miss being a wife. I miss love. I miss my husband!!!

Many Hats said...

3 months ago

Adrians_wife14 said...

5 months ago

It's been 15 days since my husbands massive left side cellebrum stroke. Multiple surgeries, coded, and trach placement. I went from emotional to angry. I'm 7 months pregnant with our first son, battling his family, & raising my two daughters. I lay alone at night, it's beyond upsetting. I go to the hospital- he keeps his eyes closed constantly.. as if he doesn't even want to be bothered with me... so devastated. ......

Susan W B said...

5 months ago

Mntdreamer said...

5 months ago

I am so lonely. My soulmate of 42 years had a massive stroke on July 2 . He is 60 years old. He lost his speech, has a feeding tube because he swallow. Right side is totally disable. He was on a ventalotor for 3 weeks. In August of last year, he had a stroke on the left side. He regained the use of his left side and returned to work by December. He has been in five facilities since July. He is now in a skilled nursing unit at a nursing home. Today the director called me in to say he would probably not regain his speech and probably have the feeding for the rest of his life. He also, he wa not sure that he was losing his determination to get better or if all then emotions have been due to the part of the brain controls crying, depression, anger, and the ability to stay on task. We have never been apart except when we had children. He had non-hodgkins lymphoma in 2002. How much more can his body take? They fear because he can't swallow he could aspirate and get pneumonia. He tells me "his not a man anymore" I am sorry, Why?, and the fear I won't want him anymore. We both cried for what we had, what we have lost, and fear the fear of the future. I want him to come home and the goal was on a walker. Today, they told me the PT, OT, and speech therapy would be come to our home to make coming home safe. We have steps and will need ramps, wheelchair access to the bathroom. My mind is on overload, I cry because I miss him, and I fear I would be able to care for him when he finally comes home. HELP with ideas, expectations for the future. I had a left arm replacement, two neck surgeries, and last year back surgery, I fear I won't be strong enough to keep from hurting him or me.

hzjewl said...

5 months ago

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