Caregiving Wives of Stroke Survivors
This group is created to provide a place to encourage, give or ask for advice, or just vent to other wives who are full time caregivers to their husbands who are disabled by massive strokes.
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how much control should I let my daughter have in decisions for her father?
Hi! My name is Stephanie and I’m 47. My husband of 18 years had a stroke February 2017.... he was 55. He’s doing well however I’m struggling with how different he acts and talks. His personality has changed. I feel blessed to have him alive and actually functional well, but he’s different and it’s hard..... anyone out there that can relate?
Okay I'm back...Is it wrong since I was only married 10 months and now over a year the stroke who left him paralyzed...unable to talk....and 80% unconscious each day... to begin to just feel like the caregiver. That the marriage part is gone. I love him so....but progress is veeerrrry slow. I have open my heart to receive love since this journey (no sex) just initmate love and its been very healing but scary too. Its causing me to think in areas I wouldn't touch before...like gaining power of attorney...so I can continue to care and help him...but also down the road considering divorce. I talked it over with my friend and he assures me that if I decide that later on....he would not only support me....but also my spouse. I was very shock. But I feel so guilty for these thoughts yet refreshed all in one. I live in a strong Christian environment where I'm sure may judge me...but I'm getting stronger in that area too. They haven't come shy very few in a year to even see him. So Plz help...
Just received this morning and viscous and vile e-mail from my husband's sister criticising me up and down for the way I handled his strokes and the aftermath. Anybody else experience something similar? In my view, she's got no right to judge me as she hasn't walked in my shoes. Her husband is healthy & fine. I've never had to deal with this before and coped the best I could minute to minute. My world was shattered. I was scared and lonely and grieving for the man that was. There were no instruction manuals to guide me. I am human, not a saint. I know I didn't always handle every situation the best but I was struggling big time. As you all know a stroke is the most horrible thing that can happen to a couple and its usually far worse for the spouse and people who haven't been there done that don't get it. It's also worse than when a husband dies, because I've that happen in my life too. Fortunately, most people are mature and intelligent enough to recognize that they can't fully understand it and they are still compassionate and sympathetic. Not this woman. She says the hospital wouldn't release him because they thought I wasn't stable enough and that they asked if she would take him. I think she's lying. She also criticized me for saying he is no longer the same man as he was before the strokes, but as we all know, that is the truth. It's not said to be mean, its the way it is. My husband is also upset by her e-mail so she has caused dissension and upset in the family..
I'm actually a very upset daughter. My Dad had a stroke a year and a half ago. He has some body weakness and falls sometimes. He is very stubborn and will not take therapy. But, the real issue is what he has been doing to my Mom. He accuses her of having affairs now and long in the past. Liek 60 years ago with a much older man she babysat for as a teen. More recently he decided a l8fe l9ng friend who visited one day from out of town was giv8ng her signals across the room. He went so far as to call the man numerous times and threaten him. Now he's saying she's having an affair with another the life long acqaintance who delivers meds for their pharmacy. This man is in his late 70s and his wife drives him. My Mom is 82 and has never done anything to deserve this. My Dad is the only man she has ever beennwith. She was always with us as children and is always home with him. She has depression and health issues. And now is a shaky mess...I worry so much. He calls her names and says awful things to her. It's just absolutely insane and I don't know what to do. He's 89 and has always been such a good man.
Ok...been in this storm over a year. Im 45 now husband 48. He still cannot talk or move much. He is slowly saying a word bit its not consistent or daily. One time he tried to say my name. I truly love him. But our journey is very long. Very scary. He sleeps 80% of the day. He had a hemophragic stroke with a major bleed on the brain. I most definitely try to keep hope. But i am very lonely and very tired. I can't leave him in this state as no one takes the initiative in his family to help me. Hes in a facility but im there daily....bathing, doing trach care etc. by myself. An old friend who i know has genuine, loving feelings for me. He respects my love and compassionfor my spouse but he takes the initiative now to check on me...make sure Im ok. Call me. The things a women desire. I still love my spouse deeply, but I yearn for what this man offers me too. Havent and dont desire sex. But just miss male friendship...laughter...company. Need advice on this one...
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