Cancer Support Group
Welcome to this online support group for caregivers, family, friends, and others with an interest in cancer care! Please introduce yourself - Ask for advice - Share your experiences caring for a loved one with cancer. Talk about symptoms, treatment options, side effects, daily life, your tips for others. Vent, laugh, and come back as often as you need to feel less alone.
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My husband has stage 4 pancreatic cancer. He was diagnosed the end of August 2017. He has has some sort of cancer and the associated care needs for the past 10 years. This last diagnosis has taken its toll on me. We have friends stopping by frequently to visit but I often feel burdened with their visits. Im tired. I feel like I just want to be alone but realize friends want to be here with my husband. Everyone offers help but I don’t know what to ask them to do. The things that they could help with, shopping etc. are the only things I can do to get out of the house. My husband doesn’t require assistance with getting around etc. but I feel someone needs to be here 24/7 for the days following treatment. His reaction to his chemo is becoming worse each time. Just venting. Thanks for listening.
My Mom is getting worse and worse. She refuses her pills now. I have to beg her to take them. She has to wear diapers and acts like I'm abusing her when I insist on them. Then she rips them off before she has to pee and pisses on the bed and floor. I'm only 21..and she wants me to be her main care giver. At this point I'm not sure if I can. Everyone is being supportive of me but I can tell they all think I'm not doing enough. I have severe anxiety and depression. I haven't taken my medicine in months cause my Mom needs round the clock care. I can't leave for a doctors visit...I feel so lost and hurt anymore...
Bill Irv said...
about 2 months
Christmas is so hard. Fears run through my mind...Will this be the last one with my wife? October 2016 she was diagnosed with Anal/Rectal cancer. We did everything the doctor said to do. Radiation and Chemo. 3 months later the doctor said the tumor was no longer active. August 2017 the cancer has spread to lymph nodes in chest, abdomin and liver. December 2017 doctor said the chemo isn't working, The cancer is stronger and now spread to the pelvis. Now scheduled for genetic mapping and different type of chemo in January 2018. I can;t help but be depressed and wonder will this last type of chemo work or is the end coming.
I am my brothers primary caregiver who has stage 4 melanoma. I need some anonymous emotional support.
Lana Ramos said...
My mother is 77 she has had rectal pressure and bladder pressure for over a month now. Poops small soft or runny poop no less that 10 times a day. She does have external hemorrhoids but whatever this is goes beyond the occasional hem. She also passes huge amounts of dark blood about once a month. Filling up 3 pairs of underware and 3 pads in less than 20 mins..now i notice she is SOB after BMs and has a enlarged groin on the right side.
It has been 13 months since my dad passed away from lung cancer. He went in to the dr to see if they could help with his back problems and that is when they found out he had stage 4 lung cancer. He still wanted to try radiation and fight but 2 weeks later they found out out the cancer had spread to his brain. He passed away about a month after we discovered he was sick. He was 66 years old. The reason I'm writing this post is because I feel like I'm having such a difficult time moving on or even not crying when I think about him. I feel like my other family members were able to cope much easier than me. I tried counseling but I only went once, cried the whole time and was too embarrassed to go back. I'm wondering if anyone can tell me their experience and how they handled it and if counseling helped or maybe other suggestions. I appreciate it.
For 3 generations my husband's entire family has died from some sort of cancer. Last week, he developed diverticulitis and was hospitalized. During his hospitalization it was discovered he has a large pelvic mass. They did 2 biopsies of the mass and an MRI. We will know the results next week.
Things had been "off" with him for quite a while. His legs swelled and wouldn't go down. He had been working with his primary doctor on his kidneys and high blood pressure and was to go to a specialist for his kidneys later in October when he was hit with this diverticulitis. He had been feeling tired and run down for the last 6-7 months and although he's been overweight for many years, he's been looking more and more pregnant these past six or so months.
We've been told whatever is in him, it needs to come out and as it currently is, we are talking major surgery for the removal. With his family history, he's wondering if it's worth it and feels that he's going to die no matter what. He scared for our 20 year old special needs daughter and 15 year old son because he knows my health is not the best.
So we have a week to wait and probably more waiting after that. We're not sure what we're dealing with yet and it's hard to fight something that you don't quite know what it is yet or what to focus on. He's home and hurting still but I have to keep working for the money and the insurance and also because right now, I know things could get much worse and I need to conserve my own leave for worse days ahead. But how do I get him out of his funk?
My mom (age 65) has been fighting stage 4 metastatic breast cancer for a year and a half, and just started her third different chemo, The cancer has gotten very advanced recently, and her doc told her that all the awful symptoms she's feeling now are from the cancer, not from the chemo, which I think has made her lose hope. She's barely making an effort to eat- has about a bottle of Ensure and a couple crackers per day (she says these are about the only things she doesn't throw up), and barely gets out of bed. What can my dad and I do to inspire her to keep trying things to eat, and to make her feel more hopeful? I live about 40 mins away and have no childcare for my almost 2-year-old, so I can't be there to offer my mom meals 6 times a day. My dad is a faithful, caring husband but he waits for her to tell him what she wants, i.e. "What can i get you from the grocery store?", when she doesn't even have the energy or will to think of ideas. Any thoughts?
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