Cancer Support Group
Welcome to this online support group for caregivers, family, friends, and others with an interest in cancer care! Please introduce yourself - Ask for advice - Share your experiences caring for a loved one with cancer. Talk about symptoms, treatment options, side effects, daily life, your tips for others. Vent, laugh, and come back as often as you need to feel less alone.
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I am currently caring for my 92 yr old grandmother-in-law. She was diagnosed in June with breast cancer. She also has dementia. The doctors gave her the option to remove her breast and she told them no. She is currently taking Letrozole. She tells me everyday that she has a lump in her breast and that it is hurting her. And everyday I have to remind her she has breast cancer. I have called the doctor numerous times to inform her of the pain complaints and that the mass is in fact getting larger. When I called this last time the doctor prescribed Roxanol for the pain and moved her appointment up. It breaks my heart to have to " rip that band aid" off everyday and remind her she has cancer. Most of the time she just asks repeatedly what the doctor is going to do for it and I show and tell her about her medicine, but the last couple of times she has gotten nasty about it. She actually told me the devil sent me and that I was the reason she has cancer. Oh course it hurt my feelings, but I didn't say anything to her because I didn't want to upset her anymore then she already was. My BIL came down last weekend but refused to talk to her. He literally ran me over trying to get out of the house after spending just one hour with her. I know she can be madding but she can't help it. I feel like I am in this fight alone. I need help and support and I am not sure what my next step is. Can anyone understand what I am going through and offer any helpful suggestions. TIA.
about 2 months
Hi I will be a caregiver for my fiancé's mother who just found out she has stage 4 lung cancer she will be in hospice for a week or until she is strong enough to go home. There are no treatments the doctors can offer her at this point just make her feel as comfortable as possible and good nutrition. Ive been reading that the macrobiotic diet is good but to be honest I have no idea what I'm doing any advice? Thanks
My husband has stage 4 rectum cancer that has spread to other organs. Feeling overwhelmed with everything that goes with having a spouse that once was bringing in a income , sharing household chores to not being to do nothing but sleep most of the day. How do you keep from finding yourself crying or being really pissed off ?
My mom has stage 4 non-small cell lung cancer and I am the only one out of 3 daughters to take care of her. The other two won't even spend time with our mom, let alone help her with day to day activities (bathing, getting dressed, etc) I do it all by myself. I'm also on disability so I am really overwhelmed with taking care of my mom and dealing with my own disabilities. My mom yells and screams at me on a daily when other people upset her. I mean, I didn't do it, I'm the one who makes sure she has everything she needs! I just don't think it's fair that I'm the only that seems to care enough! Yet, I'm the one who gets worse side of our mom as she's trying to survive day to day! I need to know that I'm not the only one that lives like this! I need to know why I have to do this alone!
My husband has Stage 4 Colon cancer and taking chemo. My 22 year old daughter (his step-daughter) has been have issues with drugs and recently found she is pregnant. These are only 2 of many things I’m dealing with now. I try to be supportive to both but my husband gets mad if I even mention her name. All I get is constant anger. I know this is a expected in cancer situations, but he is constantly screaming that he has Stage 4 cancer and dying. It’s almost like he is being so self-centered and doesn’t think I should be upset about all I’m dealing with, along with a FT job. A friend called to check on me and I broke down in tears. My husband got so angry and told me I wasn’t the one dying with cancer. It’s like no one else needs support nor do they have the right to cry or even be sick, only him. I am having a hard time even liking him right now because he seems so selfish. I do understand this is all part of the disease but I feel like he goes way overboard and won’t even listen to me. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
Urgent alert!!! If you look at other groups you might see posts mentioning NATURAL HERBAL GARDENS. It is a scam!!! They prey on people who are suffering. Do not fall for this!
My father in law was diagnosed with non small cell throat cancer 3 years ago. He has been on a ride since, long story short he fell off the map after diagnosis, came back to the world a few months ago, agreed to come live with us, got a peg tube put in to help him gain weight( he was under 100lbs) and started palliative radiation therapy. My work had the option of going on both short and long term caregiver leave, my husbands did not, and so i chose the option of leaving my cozy night shift work to stay home and care for him. I feel tho i am constantly close to burning out, as i have three kids in school and my husband travels for work and is gone every other week and thinks that this time off is exactly that. Time off. Sure, i get to sleep atnight now, but not really, my FIL doesnt sleep well, doesnt hear well, and is up at night looking for company. I feel as tho ive taken on the responsibility of another baby, but one that also needs the independence of an adult. Im just tired and i dont know how to convey this to my husband as he is dealing with his own side of this situation.
Why do 3 months and a half after my partner has been diagnosed with breast cancer feel like a lifetime of caregiving? It's stage 2 (breast and lymph node). It's a short time, but what a roller coaster ride it has been. It's at this time and she hasn't scheduled surgery, has been declining doctors' suggestions, and is going to wait another month for a 3rd doctor opinion. In the meanwhile all she is relying on is natural cures (supplements and spiritual work) and one Rx drug; which I support but I do not put all my eggs on that one holistic basket. I prefer a balanced approach between western and holistic medicine. So when she told me that she was going to wait and now see another doctor, I flipped. Fear takes over sometimes and somewhat of a tiredeness.... I don't know what to do. She gets annoyed and tells me that my fear affects her negatively, that she doesn't need that right now. How can I be positive all the time and not have some fear when what we are fighting with is the big C?
My mom was diagnosed with stage T4b head and neck cancer 2 years ago. Even before the diagnosis she has been in bad health, I moved back home 5 years ago to take care of her and have been her sole caregiver since. She doesn't have any friends and has refused to take interest in any sort of activity in which I'm not involved. Besides being her caregiver I work full time as a restaurant general manager. And that is it. I have zero time for anything but spending time/taking care of her, work, and sleep. 3 months ago she consented to my long time partner (been together 11 years) moving in with us because I was so unhappy. I was over the moon to have some help and just to be with him again. Well, my life is more stressful than before he came. She's jealous of him taking my time away from her, even though I still spend more time with her than anyone else, including myself. She won't allow him to help her in any way, like if she has to go to an appointment she would rather take an uber than allow him to take her. Of course I'm not going to make her ride with a stranger, besides it would just be more guilt to pile on my shoulders.
I'm 36 years old and we've been wanting to have a child but how could i possibly do that with everything I already have on my plate. I'm getting older, I only have a tiny bit of time left before getting pregnant would start to be unwise considering the complications that pregnancy can have when you're over 35...
I guess what I'm saying is that I feel like I'm sacrificing the very last years of my "youth" and my opportunity to have a family of my own. I don't resent her for it exactly, but it's caused a deep depression in me. I feel like I'm constantly on the verge of tears. I can't even talk about it or anything else stressful and not break down into tears. I'm pulled between my happiness with my fiancee and my sense of duty and love for my mother. He hasn't done anything to make her dislike him, she would most likely dislike anyone who takes any of my attention away from her.
I'm at my breaking point. We don't have any family close by and my brother lives 2 hours away with serious drug and alcohol problems, I haven't asked him for help because I feel like it would do more harm than good. I don't know where to turn, how to handle this, what to do to make my life bearable and I want a family of my own. I'm stuck and running out of time. Any outside perspective would help. Thank you for reading this and taking time listening to my problems when I know you all also have your own.
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