Cancer Support Group
Welcome to this online support group for caregivers, family, friends, and others with an interest in cancer care! Please introduce yourself - Ask for advice - Share your experiences caring for a loved one with cancer. Talk about symptoms, treatment options, side effects, daily life, your tips for others. Vent, laugh, and come back as often as you need to feel less alone.
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Confused 123 said...
5 days ago
My sibling was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer 3 years ago that had spread to her liver. She was hospitalized 3 weeks ago and then moved to a hospice facility a few days later. For the first week everyone assumed she was near the end. She had the death rattle, was unconscious but when did open her eyes she didn't make sense. She had the waxy appearance and legs/feet started turning blue. But after a week the death rattle disappeared and she can talk sometimes and make sense and the coloring has stopped. She looks better. At first they were calling it a "Rally" but now they are saying that it has last too long for that. She has now moved from critical care to maintenance care. Has anyone dealt with this kind of situation?
7 days ago
We found out my mom has cancer last November. Since then I have changed my life around in order to spend as much time with her as possible. Her cancer is stage 4 and she couldn't handle chemo so she is receiving hospice care already. She is bed ridden so I do everything for her that I can with the help of a 24 hour caretaker and my brother and nephew. Today, however, she called me screaming because she wanted to do her taxes and she thought I had something she needed. I have bent over backwards to keep her happy only to be yelled at for something I did not do. I don't know how much more of this I can take. Does anyone have any suggestions?
7 days ago
My husband was diagnosed with a gist tumor. They operated but did not get it all. He has been on a oral chemo since last April. The chemo is suppose to give him more time. He is one of the most negative and miserable man I know. He is driving our whole family and friends away. He does have some side effects that are not pleasant . At times it just feels like I am alone. I usually work on the other side of this so I just need a way to vent I quess. Thanks
8 days ago
After two years of cancer caretaking, i feel like an empty shell of invisible human nothingness. The needs of a sick person always come first and as a caretaker we try to accomodate. I don't think anyone that hasn't been in the caretaker shoes has any idea how little your life actually matters any more. Your career, personal needs, your sleep, your goal, just kick them in a can. Your job is to keep that person going at the cost of your own life. You end up spending months without doing a single thing you enjoy until you finally come to a point where you don't enjoy anything because it doesn't matter. What matters is your patient. And that patient will start to lean on you for every little aspect. Until you are completely broke and financially dependent and you are needed all the time where the patient won't even eat without you telling them. And if they weigh in and lost weight again it will feel like a personal failure. Cancer takes every life it touches and destroys it including the ones of bystanders. The worst part is that alternative medicine is a way better way to cure it but you end up watching somebody you love poisoning themselves until they are unreconizable. Cancer patients stop being partners. They got their own issues. So you are pretty much single and the loneliest person on the planet because everyone will forget you even exist even though you cook and clean, shop and organize... i absolutely hate my life now that cancer has touched it.
11 days ago
Hi. On June 23, 2016 my fiance was diagnosed with Stage 4 Esophageal Cancer that had spread to his stomach, liver and brain. Doctors of course try to take your hope and faith away but it did just the opposite for me. It made mine and my fiances faith even stronger. We were basically told hospice bound, they wanted to put a feeding tube in him (when he had no problems swallowing). Then we had the Oncologist come in and said that we could give chemo a chance, so he immediately started mild radiation on the tumor in the brain and then straight to chemo. I immediately started him on Essiac Tea and Al;kaline water. Basically a high PH.
After 4 chemo treatments they scheduled a scan for him and the results were amazing, the cancer had shrunk in half and the tumor in the brain was gone.. So of course we continue doing the same course of chemo,, Essiac Tea and Alkaline water. He did 5 more rounds of chemo and then went for another scan. Now I I can not leave Prayer and our faith. When we received the results from the scan MY FIANCE WAS IN NORMAL AND STABLE CONDITION. Unbelievable, doctors tell us he is dying and God and the essiac tea and alkalining his body was the best thing we could of done.
Now the oncologists offered my fiance to come off chemo for 2 months and schedule a scan. and see were we sit. Then we go for his appt. and the doctor tells us that he needs to stay on chemo possible for the rest of his life. That is completely unbelievable. I have never been through anything like this before. I want to gain all the knowledge or if anybody else has been through this to try and help me understand this. I am not quite sure I agree with the doctor due to the fact that he said 1 thing on one visit then something completely on the 2nd visit. Confusing, Aggravating and Scary.
12 days ago
My mom has small cell lung cancer that spread to the brain. One small lecision. I am searching to see if anyone has experienced this? I'm just not sure what to expect. She is only 64 and I live 10 hours away with my 3 kids and husband. I plan to go to be with her during her chemo/radiation, but curious to hear other experiences with this type of cancer.
15 days ago
My Mom has terminal cancer. She is dying from spinal cell sarcoma and also has a clogged artery. The stage 4 cancer has spread to her upper rib, lungs, outer thigh, and brain. We are trying hard to keep her comfortable as she didn't want to go through chemo and radiation. She was given 6 months to live. So far we set up hospice in her home. They started Mom on morphine to control her pain. She was taking .5ml every for or 5 hours a day. She forgot to take it one day and the caregivers didn't monitor it, so that night she had a horrible pain. It was hard to manage it. After that night, hospice decided to raise her dosage to .75ml and just give it to her every 4 to 5 hours wether she requested it or not. She's changed so much. She is very drained, tired and confused. She was having a hard time walking and staying alert. Most of the time she is falling asleep while she speaks. Now they want to start her on another drug called Methadone. They say it is longer acting and will help with the morphine so we can give Mom her medicine every 4 hours. I have no idea how she is going to react to this new drug. I have gone online and read things that my Mom will likely experience like nausea, vomiting, abdominal pain and diarrhea. As if she doesn't have enough discomfort. I asked if there was another pain medication we can use, the nurse said that the doctor recommended that. I am not sure if it's to counter the confusion Mom is going through. I am very worried. Does anyone here know why hospice would prescribe this? I also read it's very dangerous because it slows the heart and my main concern is that I just don't want my Mom to suffer. She never wanted to go this way. She wanted to die with dignity.
Rose g said...
20 days ago
Hello, I am in my late 50s on disability because of the side effects from chemo and surgeries. I'm starting a part time job soon and have been having much anxiety. My chest burns and heart racing. I'm always tired and my joints and bones hurt and I learning isn't as easy. I live with my 2 cats, my siblings really don't care at all and feel ostracized and very stressed. Thank you for listening. I am saddened to know there's a lot of hurting people on here.
26 days ago
Hello. Reading all this posts, I'm flooded with sadness for all of you. I just found out my mom has small cell lung cancer and they found a lesion on her brain. Not even sure what that means. I have 3 children, and live 10 hours away. She started radiation yesterday. I ask her questions, but she doesn't want to know anything beyond what treatment they are doing. I'm calling the doc today. She went to the ER because she couldn't go potty, thar is how they found the cancer. They are postponing chemo to do radiation on her brain first. I feel lost being so far away and not sure what any of this all means. I don't know if this is treatable, curable or what I should be doing.
about 1 month ago
My husband fell at work and hurt his neck after three weeks of physical therapy the doctor sent him for a mri, they found something in his neck and referred us to a neosurgeon, they did a CT scan found out he had a tumor in his spine near the spinal cord. He needed emergency surgery because it was pushing on his spine so off to the hospital we go. All this time my job wanted to know when I would be back and had no compassion what so ever. Anyways he had that surgery but then we find out he has kidney cancer and his kidney needs to be removed. The tumor on his kidney was the size of a football. He has clear cell renal carcinoma stage IV it has spread to his liver, lung and bones. My job told me to resign or go back one shift and be fired. So my husband has terminal cancer and I am his caregiver. We are only 49 years old and just bought a house now I don't have a job and the company I worked for refuses to let me have unemployment. I am so stressed out and don't know what to do. Any advice?
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