This online support group for assisted living discussions connects caregivers, family, friends, and others with an interest in assisted living care. Get tips, advice, and support for your assisted living questions or concerns. Post best practices and success stories. Share about your assisted living experiences or challenges with others who understand. Ask for feedback or exchange ideas to help optimize assisted living for older adults. Find information that will may you manage financial and legal matters for your loved one in the Caregiving Money Matters Resource Center.
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An anonymous caregiver said...
8 days ago
I need some help. Currently, my mom is staying in a nursing and she has early onset alzthemiers. I'm paying down her assets in order to become financially eligible for medacaid which should take another 1.5 yrs. At that point, all her money will have been spent at the nursing home. Here is my problem. My grandfather who is alive has dematia and is living with my aunt. He has 3 treasury bonds in his name and his social security number and my mom is listed on the bond as a co owner and the bond reads as follows [My grandfathers Name] OR [MY MOMS NAME] If my aunt, who has power of attorney over my grandfather were to cash those bonds in under my grandfathers name will medacaid see this? How would they see it? My mom's social is not tied to the bond, just her name. I've been getting conflicting information from different sources. My lawyer stated that everything will be ok as long a the bonds are cashed in while he is still alive. If my grandfather were to pass away then the only person to claim that bond would be my mom and then that would be a problem. I just need to know what the right course of action is to take her. Please help.
A fellow caregiver said...
28 days ago
First in a assisted living community are you allowed to come and go as you please without asking anyone?
Are you allowed to have your own vehicle to use as you please?
Is there any restriction at all how long you can be gone without asking someone?
Are there locked or guarded doors where you are logged in and out?
Really what I am asking is exactly how much TRUE freedom do you have or are you CONTROLED by the facility?
If there are any restrictions then it is NOT assisted living but being locked up as in prison. These are questions EVERYONE needs answers to before even thinking about going to or sending a loved one to any place at all. NOONE should be imprisoned without a fair trial, even known child molesters are required to be heard in court. EVERY ONE has a right to freedom under the constitution until CONVICTED of a crime, therefore being PLACED on any place that has RESTRICTIONS to there FREEDOM should be a crime. Please answer the above questions, then if the answers make sense and FREEDOM is not lost we may consider ALLOWING a loved one to live there but if there are ANY restrictions we could not be cruel enough to sentence a loved one to life in prison. Everett L Gamble
An anonymous caregiver said...
about 1 month ago
Hi - new to group. I am looking to place my parents in assisted - one has early Alz and the other is mentally good but physically needs assistance due to diabetes and heart issues.
As assisted is pricey unless you are totally broke or have scads of money, I found a place that is "reasonable" but just opened 2 weeks ago. My concern is the newness - they are just working through hiring nurses, setting up activities. etc. Part of me says as they are new, they will get the best of care due to wanting to attract more residents, but the other part says they will probably go through some hiccups and turnover for awhile until they get their feet on the ground and they may not give the best care. Thoughts?
about 1 month ago
My mother fell a month ago, ended up in a trauma unit with bleeding on the brain. She was moved after a week to a rehab facility. She has significant cognitive decline and can't walk or toilet herself without assistance. She needs 24/7 supervision since she is at risk for falling. I have worked with aplaceformom.com to seek out assisted living/memory care programs for her to move to after rehab. She is very agitated at present about going home. I need advice and counsel on how to break it to my Mom that home is not an option and that she needs to be in a safe community and environment. Can anyone share their experience and how to best go about it?
2 months ago
My name is Kevin. My 78-yo, Vietnamese mom has recently been very sick in her apartment in Orange County (South Los Angeles), CA. She had lived by herself in her apartment for 6 months since my dad was hospitalized last September. My dad has now been taken care of by my half sister, who does not get along very well with my mom, and I am the only son my mom has. I have been moving to Cincinnati, Ohio since July, 2016 for a graduate school program, expecting to graduate in 2020. Two weeks ago, my mom came down with a urinary tract infect that weakened her legs and sprained her lower back, but not fall. She has been in a skilled nursing facility (SNF) for 2 weeks now for rehab since she was released from the hospital. A social worker from this SNF has contacted me about how and where my mom will be living after the rehab. This social worker eventually learned my mom situation and recommended assisted living for her. Since my mom does not speak English, I feel that it will be more beneficial for her to stay close to the Vietnamese community in CA where she will get more helps out of these assisted living facilities, but that requires me to fly back frequently so see her. On the other hands, I also feel that there is a need for her to be close to me for monitoring purposes, and so I will not have to spend time and money on flying to see her . I have thought of bringing my mom here to Cincinnati, but I am afraid that her language difficulty might be a barrier for her to obtain full helps from the staff at the assisted living facilities in Cincinnati.
If you are in my situation, what should you do? Thank you for you ideas and inputs. -Kevin PS. Oh, the option of me going back to CA for school is unlikely because I love this school and the great tuition fees this school offers.
Unsure and confused said...
3 months ago
Dec 27th I came home to find my mom unconcious on the floor shaking. I called 911 and they came out and worked on her for 30 minutes before taking her by helicopter to orlando trauma unit. She had a stroke and bleeding on the brain as blot clot in brain. She survived but her memory is not the same. She is currently in rehabilitation facility. She can't walk or do anything on her own. I've been taking care of her for 12 years with very little from my brother or sister. This is 5th fall in 3 months. This one was the worst I still she her life Lying there. I told my brother and sister in law if she gets better i cant take care of her anymore.I have my own health issues. Today she looked better than I've seen her look since it happened. It made me feel guilty and selfish for not wanting to take care of her. Her dr says that she cant be left alone. No one in my family seems to understand what I've been through for 12 years. I'm confused.
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