This online support group for assisted living discussions connects caregivers, family, friends, and others with an interest in assisted living care. Get tips, advice, and support for your assisted living questions or concerns. Post best practices and success stories. Share about your assisted living experiences or challenges with others who understand. Ask for feedback or exchange ideas to help optimize assisted living for older adults. Find information that will may you manage financial and legal matters for your loved one in the Caregiving Money Matters Resource Center.
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about 1 month ago
My brother is with me for a month now , he has short term memory loss, we will be seeing a neurologist this next week. I am anxious about where to put him that he can afford" & offer him some kind of life, not just a room alone. He is a vegetarian. He takes no meds , is 78 with no problems getting around. . I think I need to call someone to talk, I am wearing down with this as I am an artist that works 5 days a week more or less. I am worried that my health is going to suffer is I don't make choices soon. Also trying to move him out of his house & what to keep for him since he will be living smaller now
2 months ago
My sister in law lives across the country from us and has no real support where she is. She lives in her own home, but has had several strokes, COPD and arthritis. She is finding just daily life increasingly difficult. Lately when I talk to her she has said a few times that she expects to end up in a nursing home. However, I'm not sure if she really needs a nursing home or just an assisted living facility where she can get some help with day to day tasks like laundry, meals and bills. Additionally, she does not have much in the way of money. She has the idea that she will need to sell the house, which is probably true. But even the month to month expenses could be high. I am starting to look into this so that I can offer some advice. Currently she has not asked me to, but if I can find some good resources I can open the conversation. I don't want to wait till it's a crisis. Any thoughts on where I can get some good information on costs and the kind of care that would be best? She's in Pennsylvania.
7 months ago
My husband had an anoxic brain injury which left him with severe short term memory deficits. I have been his caregiver since February, staying with him 24/7. I am finding it increasingly difficult to keep both him and myself from getting depressed. I am wondering if assisted living would give him more motivation and help him be more content.
8 months ago
OK this is my first ever post. My Grandfather died 4 years ago leaving a lot of land to my father. My father then died of liver cancer almost a year after him. My Mother and an moved to the family land and built a wonderful house, which is also near to her family. When we moved I worked for a company which allowed me to work remotely from home. This was great till laid off after 10 years of working for the company. Since we moved Mom has had a debilitating hemorrhagic stroke. She is incontinent of bowel and bladder.. At times she she is completely lucid and others not it is a 50/50 chance. I now have a job opportunity in a city 6 hrs away from what she knows. I am torn.. The idea of assisted living would be great but, don't think they would let me live with her and be withe her to provide stability for her and she requires more than the normal assisted living abilities. A nursing home breaks my heart. Mom and I are best friends and always have been.
8 months ago
What's it like in Assisted Living? Can we still do things for ourselves? I like to cook and bake and I still do my own laundry. I just can't take care of the house like I once did. I can put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher. It's hard to get around and lift things and go up and the steps to the freezer. What help will I get and what will I have to give up? Thanks for any information you can give me.
10 months ago
I am in the process of finding an Assisted Living facility for myself. I have COPD/emphazema and Osteroperosis that keeps me from breathing correctly. My doctor wants me in a nursing facility so that I can get medical care without having to go into the hospital like I have been doing monthly. Unfortunately, I make $1800 a month, which is too much for medicaid - but not enough to get into a home. I do not know what to do. I have tried to get SSI but they cannot help me. I am retired and disabled (Retirement and Social Security) and get paid once a month - total. This will not change except for the occasional yearly increase of which we did not get any this year. Is there a company/resource out there that helps people like me in providing the funds needed to paya the difference of what I need to a Living Assis Facility? Thanks for your help in this matter. Mary
10 months ago
My mother has stage 4 Lung Cancer, but it is slow and not really growing fast, keeps shrinking, but will never be able to have surgery. This has been for 3 years now. She lost her husband last year. Her memory is getting worse, we assumed due to chemo, she was falling a lot. Then in December 2015, she fell and broke her hip and I found her on the floor of her 100 year old farmhouse in the middle of nowhere. She then had hip surgery, and a stroke followed. She was in the hospital from mid december til the end of january 2016 and I brought her home with me. She is still in a wheelchair and her memory gets worse every day. We are wondering if she has stroke related dementia now. She forgets the night before, never knows the dates, etc. She is very angry and mean to me and my 10 year old son, even raising her hand to me. She is constantly trying to stand all the time because she forgets she can't. I work from home, and taking care of her is taking me away from my job (where I am monitored). My husband takes her to therapies and such during the week. My thoughts now are should we put her in an assisted living facility. I am now her power of attorney. Should I stick it out, (going on 2 months now and not getting a lot better). She sits in my house all day, won't exercise, won't go to the bathroom. She can walk with assistance, but won't do much else. We were going to add on a studio apartment to my house for her, but now see that if we do that, I will then be spending most of my time over THERE instead of here in my house. She is totally against a home, but we are wondering if its our only option. She spent the weekend with my brother and I cried all morning just knowing I had to go get her, which in turn made me so guilty for being like that. How do you know when enough is enough to put them in a structured environment? I should say we are on a waiting list for a caregiver, which is about $2400 a month for 3 twelve hour shifts a week. It could be several weeks before they find someone. The assisted living places are 2100-2200 a month, with all inclusive and a private kitchen/bathroom. I have a brother, but he was paralyzed in a car wreck, so his walking is not the greatest. So he cannot care for her and his wife works too. I feel like such a failure since I work from home, have only one kid, and I can't manage to take care of mom. we are in a very small town. I do not want a stranger from a non agency in my home. Even though I work from home, I just can't do it, without background checks, references, etc, and even after placing an add, that could as well take weeks. Our family has been nonexistent since she came home, and most of them are not physically able.The assisted living home in my area is highly recommended and have a room open. She's only 59, and I don't want her to feel she is in a nursing home. I believe she is slowly slipping into stroke related dimentia. Her short term memory is gone, she is not remember the nights before, or things we have done. My husband cannot do her feminine things, so its up to me. So 15 min each bathroom trip, 30 min for the first time in the morning so I can be in there while she dresses, because she will try to stand and has no balance, so falls. All this time is away from work for me. Plus during the day, she just stares at the tv or just tries to fold a blanket for 2.5 hours (this was last night - she can't focus or do things like this now). I just don't know what to do
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