This online support group for assisted living discussions connects caregivers, family, friends, and others with an interest in assisted living care. Get tips, advice, and support for your assisted living questions or concerns. Post best practices and success stories. Share about your assisted living experiences or challenges with others who understand. Ask for feedback or exchange ideas to help optimize assisted living for older adults. Find information that will may you manage financial and legal matters for your loved one in the Caregiving Money Matters Resource Center.
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12 days ago
My sis was in assisted living about a month before passing. While she was there. I was told that nobody was available at one point when she needed to use the bathroom, and so she tried to get there on her own; inevitably, she slipped and hit the floor, draining her ankle. I only recently learned she had a huge bedside on her backside. We all know that translates to sheer neglect. What can be done (reported and to whom) so this never happens to anybody else's loved one? I still cringe when I think about it. I would have been there every day if I were 1200 miles away. Feeling bad.
19 days ago
Moved Mother to Assisted Living about a week and a half ago. She doesn't understand and is very negative in her attitude. She has some age related dementia and doesn't understand why she's there doesn't remember eating, etc. She seems to be better off at home! Is this normal, How long does it last? How is best to deal with her anger and forgetfulness?
29 days ago
Probably typyical stuff we all are concerned with. My wife died in April, 2008. I live alone and am basically isolated from freinds & family. Don't want to be a burden on anyone. Not sure what to do. Spent my life in corporate America. Moved around. Thought I was an important person. Guess what... I am not. Voted Republican most of my life. Vote Democrat now. I don't like the Clintons. Can't stand Trump. Thought I would be sitting on a beach drinking a cervesa with my sweetie now. Not happening. Miss my girl, but can't get her back.
about 1 month ago
My aunt is in the later stages of dementia. I was visiting and taking her to lunch once a week. I find myself going less often and with dread. I love her dearly, but it is so hard to have a conversation with her. She knows that she knows me and seems to enjoy our visits, but it is a totally one sided conversation. She doesn't remember my name or who I am exactly. I can't ask her any questions because she doesn't remember. I tell her about my children, my husband, my grandchildren but she doesn't really remember who they are. What do you say to someone who practically thinks you're a nice stranger who comes to take her to lunch. I believe family visits are good for her. Any suggestions? .
2 months ago
My father suffers from late stage Alzheimer's and has been living in a residential care home for nearly 3 yrs. His money will run out in about a year. We thought we would have to place him in a nursing home and apply for Medi-Cal (Medicaid), but the woman who owns the care home said if we starting paying her a higher monthly rent, she will accept Dad's Social Security income as payment in full for her services when Dad's money runs out. Our attorney is working on a contract for this arrangement and it will have to pass muster with the court, as my sisters and I are his court appointed conservators. I was wondering if anyone else has transitioned to Social Security/pension as payment to a care home when the assets have run dry.
2 months ago
Hi my Mom is 90 and she was living in a senior center. We just had a recent scare she had to go to the ER I thought she was going to die. Before she had to use a rolator type walker. She has non diabetic neuropathy which sometimes makes it difficult to walk. She may need assisted living now after she gets back from the hospital. She has a fairly good pension and was paying for her senior living. I am living in her house. from what I understand since she has lived at the senior living community for more than a year her home is no longer her primary residence and if she needs to use Medicare for the assisted living will Medicare take the house? Our family lawyer said even if she retitles the house in my name medicare can go back 5 years. The lawyer said there are ways that medicare can be limited on what they can take. so what are the details. Actually if medicare took the house I would have no where to go. A few years back my sister got divorced and she only has a PT job, we have been paying her rent since her x retired. I found a townhouse that was larger than the one she was renting and if I purchased the mortgage montly payments were $300 a month less then the rental. I am all in on the house all the rooms are taken by her children, so I can not afford to even rent an apartment if kicked out of my mom's house
3 months ago
I need some help. Currently, my mom is staying in a nursing and she has early onset alzthemiers. I'm paying down her assets in order to become financially eligible for medacaid which should take another 1.5 yrs. At that point, all her money will have been spent at the nursing home. Here is my problem. My grandfather who is alive has dematia and is living with my aunt. He has 3 treasury bonds in his name and his social security number and my mom is listed on the bond as a co owner and the bond reads as follows [My grandfathers Name] OR [MY MOMS NAME] If my aunt, who has power of attorney over my grandfather were to cash those bonds in under my grandfathers name will medacaid see this? How would they see it? My mom's social is not tied to the bond, just her name. I've been getting conflicting information from different sources. My lawyer stated that everything will be ok as long a the bonds are cashed in while he is still alive. If my grandfather were to pass away then the only person to claim that bond would be my mom and then that would be a problem. I just need to know what the right course of action is to take her. Please help.
A fellow caregiver said...
4 months ago
First in a assisted living community are you allowed to come and go as you please without asking anyone?
Are you allowed to have your own vehicle to use as you please?
Is there any restriction at all how long you can be gone without asking someone?
Are there locked or guarded doors where you are logged in and out?
Really what I am asking is exactly how much TRUE freedom do you have or are you CONTROLED by the facility?
If there are any restrictions then it is NOT assisted living but being locked up as in prison. These are questions EVERYONE needs answers to before even thinking about going to or sending a loved one to any place at all. NOONE should be imprisoned without a fair trial, even known child molesters are required to be heard in court. EVERY ONE has a right to freedom under the constitution until CONVICTED of a crime, therefore being PLACED on any place that has RESTRICTIONS to there FREEDOM should be a crime. Please answer the above questions, then if the answers make sense and FREEDOM is not lost we may consider ALLOWING a loved one to live there but if there are ANY restrictions we could not be cruel enough to sentence a loved one to life in prison. Everett L Gamble
4 months ago
Hi - new to group. I am looking to place my parents in assisted - one has early Alz and the other is mentally good but physically needs assistance due to diabetes and heart issues.
As assisted is pricey unless you are totally broke or have scads of money, I found a place that is "reasonable" but just opened 2 weeks ago. My concern is the newness - they are just working through hiring nurses, setting up activities. etc. Part of me says as they are new, they will get the best of care due to wanting to attract more residents, but the other part says they will probably go through some hiccups and turnover for awhile until they get their feet on the ground and they may not give the best care. Thoughts?
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