This online support group for assisted living discussions connects caregivers, family, friends, and others with an interest in assisted living care. Get tips, advice, and support for your assisted living questions or concerns. Post best practices and success stories. Share about your assisted living experiences or challenges with others who understand. Ask for feedback or exchange ideas to help optimize assisted living for older adults. Find information that will may you manage financial and legal matters for your loved one in the Caregiving Money Matters Resource Center.
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What's New Today
9 days ago
Hi - new to group. I am looking to place my parents in assisted - one has early Alz and the other is mentally good but physically needs assistance due to diabetes and heart issues.
As assisted is pricey unless you are totally broke or have scads of money, I found a place that is "reasonable" but just opened 2 weeks ago. My concern is the newness - they are just working through hiring nurses, setting up activities. etc. Part of me says as they are new, they will get the best of care due to wanting to attract more residents, but the other part says they will probably go through some hiccups and turnover for awhile until they get their feet on the ground and they may not give the best care. Thoughts?
22 days ago
My mother fell a month ago, ended up in a trauma unit with bleeding on the brain. She was moved after a week to a rehab facility. She has significant cognitive decline and can't walk or toilet herself without assistance. She needs 24/7 supervision since she is at risk for falling. I have worked with aplaceformom.com to seek out assisted living/memory care programs for her to move to after rehab. She is very agitated at present about going home. I need advice and counsel on how to break it to my Mom that home is not an option and that she needs to be in a safe community and environment. Can anyone share their experience and how to best go about it?
27 days ago
My name is Kevin. My 78-yo, Vietnamese mom has recently been very sick in her apartment in Orange County (South Los Angeles), CA. She had lived by herself in her apartment for 6 months since my dad was hospitalized last September. My dad has now been taken care of by my half sister, who does not get along very well with my mom, and I am the only son my mom has. I have been moving to Cincinnati, Ohio since July, 2016 for a graduate school program, expecting to graduate in 2020. Two weeks ago, my mom came down with a urinary tract infect that weakened her legs and sprained her lower back, but not fall. She has been in a skilled nursing facility (SNF) for 2 weeks now for rehab since she was released from the hospital. A social worker from this SNF has contacted me about how and where my mom will be living after the rehab. This social worker eventually learned my mom situation and recommended assisted living for her. Since my mom does not speak English, I feel that it will be more beneficial for her to stay close to the Vietnamese community in CA where she will get more helps out of these assisted living facilities, but that requires me to fly back frequently so see her. On the other hands, I also feel that there is a need for her to be close to me for monitoring purposes, and so I will not have to spend time and money on flying to see her . I have thought of bringing my mom here to Cincinnati, but I am afraid that her language difficulty might be a barrier for her to obtain full helps from the staff at the assisted living facilities in Cincinnati.
If you are in my situation, what should you do? Thank you for you ideas and inputs. -Kevin PS. Oh, the option of me going back to CA for school is unlikely because I love this school and the great tuition fees this school offers.
Unsure and confused said...
about 1 month ago
Dec 27th I came home to find my mom unconcious on the floor shaking. I called 911 and they came out and worked on her for 30 minutes before taking her by helicopter to orlando trauma unit. She had a stroke and bleeding on the brain as blot clot in brain. She survived but her memory is not the same. She is currently in rehabilitation facility. She can't walk or do anything on her own. I've been taking care of her for 12 years with very little from my brother or sister. This is 5th fall in 3 months. This one was the worst I still she her life Lying there. I told my brother and sister in law if she gets better i cant take care of her anymore.I have my own health issues. Today she looked better than I've seen her look since it happened. It made me feel guilty and selfish for not wanting to take care of her. Her dr says that she cant be left alone. No one in my family seems to understand what I've been through for 12 years. I'm confused.
4 months ago
My brother is with me for a month now , he has short term memory loss, we will be seeing a neurologist this next week. I am anxious about where to put him that he can afford" & offer him some kind of life, not just a room alone. He is a vegetarian. He takes no meds , is 78 with no problems getting around. . I think I need to call someone to talk, I am wearing down with this as I am an artist that works 5 days a week more or less. I am worried that my health is going to suffer is I don't make choices soon. Also trying to move him out of his house & what to keep for him since he will be living smaller now
5 months ago
My sister in law lives across the country from us and has no real support where she is. She lives in her own home, but has had several strokes, COPD and arthritis. She is finding just daily life increasingly difficult. Lately when I talk to her she has said a few times that she expects to end up in a nursing home. However, I'm not sure if she really needs a nursing home or just an assisted living facility where she can get some help with day to day tasks like laundry, meals and bills. Additionally, she does not have much in the way of money. She has the idea that she will need to sell the house, which is probably true. But even the month to month expenses could be high. I am starting to look into this so that I can offer some advice. Currently she has not asked me to, but if I can find some good resources I can open the conversation. I don't want to wait till it's a crisis. Any thoughts on where I can get some good information on costs and the kind of care that would be best? She's in Pennsylvania.
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