Alzheimer's & Dementia Care
Caring for a loved one who has Alzheimer's or another dementia? In addition to the Stage Groups via the Steps & Stages resource, we also offer this new online support group for family caregivers with loved ones across the stages of Alzheimer's or dementia. Please introduce yourself, share about your caregiving experience, and let us know how we can be of help to you.
Additional resources that may be helpful:
- Alzheimer's Info Center
- Memory Care Communities in U.S.
- Professional In-Home Caregivers
- Senior Money and Legal Resources
Group created in February 2014.
What's New Today
I care for my mother who is 89 yrs old diagnosed with Dementia over 15 yrs ago. Her "cycles" of dementia are driving me insane! One day she's on her death bed - the next she's up eating and up walking around on her own. When will this end?!
concerned d in law said...
My mother in law is 94, Recently scored 6 out of 30 on a cognitive test, Shes' living in ALF and is at the point where she is falling weekly. Mom is being given PT and is practicing on her walker. Mom has a necklace call button she can push anytime for help. Mom forgets to push or doesn't feel she needs to push it. She is very isolated in her studio apt. She does not have alot of friends, and does not enjoy the patient activities. I would love to see her more involved in activities or just hanging out in the lobby where there is always music, residents, visitors, musicians, etc. There would be more eyes on mom, and hopefully she would be safer. I understand from the facility they can only suggest she spend time out side of her apt., they cannot make her, and my husband who is there several times a week, and in daily contact with mom, cannot make this happen. Mom is not ready for memory care, she is at the highest level of care at her facility. We of course, only want her to be safe and get some quality of life daily. Mom is a lovely lady, has been the best mother in law a girl could hope for. Any advice? We would love to curb the falling.
My husband is 63 years old. I am 48. He started showing early signs of dementia about 4 1/2 years ago. His symptoms have likely been exacerbated by the stress associated with caring for me following my being mauled by a dog while on route as a UPS driver and subsequent treatment for PTSD. In hindsight, it's been the perfect storm in the worst way possible. Now, here we are, 4 1/2 years later, with me unemployable and waiting on disability appeal determination and him having concluded that I'm everything wrong and crazy in our lives. He will not or cannot recognize his decline. He has complete financial control after 21 years of marriage (it's complicated but involves family trusts and his nearly 92 year old mother who has Alzheimer's). Prior to the dog attack, I was financially independent and fierce. Now I'm dependent upon him for everything. Or, rather, have been. 2 months ago, I felt it necessary to move out after he became violent and threatened me. He later denied it, as per usual with dementia. I'm staying in one of our rental trailers part time and an RV the other. Regardless, here I am at nearly 50. 3 grown children living their lives 100 miles+ in 3 different directions, my "friends" ditched me when the going got tough during the worst of my PTSD (still in treatment for C-PTSD), no family except a sister 1500 miles away, "social limitations" as part of my diagnosis, unable to freely go anywhere as dogs are EVERYWHERE and so sad, lonely, alone and unsure how to go forward that I'm paralyzed. I'm searching for some insight if anyone cares to share.
Lady Gardener said...
I feel isolated with the problems of caring for my husband who has dementia. Our children are non supportive and I can't talk to them about how I feel. I do have someone come in to watch him so I can get to the grocery store or play cards at our senior center.
Mom and Dad, both early stage dementia/alzheimers, live in an assisted living facility that allowed them to bring their small dog. The dog bit a couple neighbors prior to their move. He has bitten THREE people in less than a year at the assisted living facility, the most recent a resident in the memory care wing.
As a last-ditch effort to help them keep the dog, Mom was told by the assisted living director that the dog had to be muzzled when it is being walked. We helped her purchase muzzles. We had heard that Mom and/or the staff she has cajoled into walking the dog, were finding the muzzles difficult to put on the dog (he fights them), so she quit making him wear them. This is how the last bite occurred.
We expect to be told the dog has to go. The dog is really important to my mother. Anyone have any other suggestions? We are the closest family, live 3 hours away, and have 4 pets ourselves...and even if we were willing to take the dog, we do not feel we can afford the liability.
Hi, I'm new here. I have found comfort from reading some of the posts on this site. It's great to get emotional support. I have been caring for my Mum for a few years although she was very normal and independent until she broke her hip and that was the first time I saw her experience a kind of delirium when she was in hospital. She is now 79 and has rigidity due to Parkinson's Disease and she is in the early stages of Alzheimer's. I was devastated by her fall and seeing her suffering as well as being worried about losing her. I felt like I had lost her mentally just after the operation when she was hallucinating and saying all kinds of hurtful things as well as being really confused, disoriented and physically aggressive. Since then the confusion has been mainly at night but there is some daytime confusion (without physical aggression) especially with her hallucinations. We've always been close which is what makes the mood swings harder to take. About half of the time she is like her old self and we chat, her long-term memory is very good and she can have an intelligent conversation, the rest of the time she is imagining what she is hearing and gets very paranoid. She goes into a mood and gets really snappy then comes out of it as if nothing happened and never apologises. She sometimes says I don't care or I seem impatient and other times is really grateful and says I work hard. Never knowing what to expect is nearly as hard as trying to recover emotionally from the hurtful things she has said over the past two years. I know people say it's pointless trying to reason with an Alzheimer's sufferer but she is very aware in many ways. I don't want to make her feel guilty about what is out of her control but when she said I didn't care and was snappy I just cried and said if I didn't love her I wouldn't have put up with so much abuse from her without complaining, then she became very sympathetic. She never remembers when she's been physically agressive (which she isn't any more except when she was on medication in hospital a few weeks ago). This isn't arguing with a mentally ill person, just reminding her that I'm doing as much as humanly possible. Any advice on how I recover from the pain of seeing my closest friend turn against me and mistrust me and how I can help her cope with mood swings and paranoia?
Dear Group: After noticing my DW's memory problems 20 years ago and being a very slow progression, which I am thankful for. She was finally diagnosed with Alzheimers ten yeas ago and started on Airocet which was change to Donpesol soon after and has been on it ever since, don't really think it is helping anymore. Did try the combo which seemed to rile her up.. Now she is at the point where she does not know what day it is, what year, what month. She does not recall her grand children or that they have children. She has memorized our children and can repeat their names when asked. I doubt if she recognizes them though.. We get together a couple of times a year. She is having some anger problems and our CNA quit and said she was to abusive (verbally) The agency said they could not send anyone else unless I doubled the fee. So am doing her baths myself and it is working I developed thick skin. The doctor we have been going to (geriatric) says this is all normal for the disease and has subscribed Zoloft to help keep her calm, but does not seem to working too good. He won't subscribe anything else. Is it time to change doctors? Some one suggested a neurologist, to test her and find out just what stage she was at. I really don't want to put her through a bunch of tests just to find out what I already know. I know I am over protective and we have been together 63 years. I guess just putting all this down is some help in itself. There is a sweet lady from hospice that comes once a week and gives me a break. We also have a gal that comes once a week and helps me keep the place clean. New doctor? Neurologist? Keep on keeping on? Hugs, popi
I couldent take care of her because I have health issues and it put more stress on me .She lived with us for 9 months but her alzheimers was getiing worse so we had to place in nursing home .no support from my siblings .they don't go visit her because they wont be getting any of her money I am still sick and everthing is on my shoulders if I don't go see her she gets no company theen the guilt starts I take care of all her finances and when she needs something she wont call any body but me I don't know what to do anymore
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