Alzheimer's & Dementia Care
Caring for a loved one who has Alzheimer's or another dementia? In addition to the Stage Groups via the Steps & Stages resource, we also offer this new online support group for family caregivers with loved ones across the stages of Alzheimer's or dementia. Please introduce yourself, share about your caregiving experience, and let us know how we can be of help to you.
Additional resources that may be helpful:
- Alzheimer's Info Center
- Memory Care Communities in U.S.
- Professional In-Home Caregivers
- Senior Money and Legal Resources
Group created in February 2014.
What's New Today
about 18 hours
I read part of a lady's comments on her husband who has Parkinson's with Lewy Body Dementia.. We have recently been given the same diagnosis regarding my husband. How are you handling this?
I am the caregiver to my husband who has Parkinson's disease with Lewy Body Dementia. Things are getting very difficult. About a month ago he fractured his shoulder after one of his many falls and was in the hospital and rehab for a couple of weeks. HIs dementia seems to get an additional set back whenever he has an injury. At this point I can not leave him alone any more and hired someone to come in 3 mornings a week for 3 hours. He refuses to let this person help him and both the visits this week ended with fecal matter all over the place. Yesterday he sat in the bathroom for over an hour spreading fecal material all over the floor with his cane and a plastic bag. It was EVERYWHERE, spent a good 30 minutes getting things cleaned up then another 20 minutes of scouring the grout with a toothbrush. The 'help' stood outside in the hallway because he wouldn't accept his help. I am ready to put him in memory care although I have fought for years to keep him out, my health and my mind is being destroyed. . I don't think he will accept going, so what do you do in that kind of situation? Do I have to have him declared legally incompetent?
I am falling apart and would not care if i didn t wake up tomorrow. My dear husband has been in a memory care center since last Oct. He is only 62 and all of our dreams for the future have been taken from us. God has not been kind to us. My faith has been destroyed. Every time I go to visit him He has lost more weight. He was a big man 6ft and 220lbs. He is prob 148lbs now. This is the creulist disease. I have no desire to go on without him. God has let this happen. I only hope that both of us can go from this world together and soon
Hello and much love to all of you. My mom passed 4 days before Christmas after a 4 year battle with dementia and terrible back pain. We had everything going for us as far as insurance and money to pay for help in caregiving, but my mom quickly became unable to be left alone. My dad and I were making it work but aside from depening dementia, Mom experienced terrible stomach pain. It took a year to learn that opioids cause a particular kind of constipation that only Metamucil or one prescription medication can help. So her stomach pain was horrible and her BMs were nothing and then the would be mess everywhere. They have cleaning people every other week but we cleaned everything every time. But when we needed more help, we were so lucky to find a home health helper named Michelle. Michelle is so kind and so able to just take over and make things better. I could go on but I respect and love her for the care she gave my mother and will always be grateful. To this end I want to let you know that this woman is available. She worked for my family in Scottsdale, Arizona and she is based near there. I’d be happy if I could just share her contact info but I care for her and want to help her find another patient to care for. I actually was “saving” her for a friend of mine but that never got going because my friend changed her hours, so I thought I’d start by putting this out here. I’m writing this on March 8 2018 in case this is an older thread. I will check in daily to see if there is interest. And I send more love to you all because I know how much you need it. This kind of caregiving we do is hard physically and doubly hard emotionally. I honestly wasn’t sure me or my marriage would survive it, but we did. I’m still grieving and healing and feel like I’ve woken up from a sad dream. Hold on. Protect yourself and take care. My name is Becky.
I'm back again. I feel like I am in this care giving journey all alone. (besides coming here). I need to have a sit down talk with my husband and tell him that I can no longer be his mother's caregiver. I can no longer try and figure out what is for dinner for all of us, I can no longer try to keep up with the household chores, while he is at work during the day. I can no longer call insurance companies to try and straighten out their mistakes, I can no longer call the home health care providers and get her back on her OT and PT. I can no longer call the doctor's office and make her appointments. I can't do this anymore! Or can I? Have I just hit rock bottom and feel like I can't or have I truly reached the end of the line and have burned out? I honestly don't know anymore which one it is. Has anyone else reached this point? I need advice on how to bring up the subject. I know I can be a very blunt person, is that the best approach?
about 1 month
I feel like I don't have anywhere else to go. I'm a 22 year old granddaughter who is the primary caregiver to my grandmother. She has dementia and it has been getting worse by the day it seems. She came to live with my family and I in May of last year, which took a little convincing from my mother(her oldest daughter). It's now nine months later and my mom is now living in a nursing home herself because of her own health issues and my grandmother is driving me up a wall. Considering how fast my grandmother's condition is progressing, she needs to be in a nursing home/memory care facility herself because she needs she can't be left alone for one minute as it is and her mood swings would make your head spin. One day, she wants to spray me in the face with Windex(not an exaggeration, that actually happened) and the next, she's all happy and cuddly and lovey. Just tonight, she threatened to buy matches and burn my house down. However, that's not the reason why I'm writing today. I have two aunts, who are my grandmother's younger daughters and I've told them that her condition has gotten to the point where I can't take it anymore and she needs to be put in a place with skilled nurses to take care of her. However, it seems like the two of them are dragging their feet about finding a place for her. I just need some guidance about how to tell them that she needs to be put in a place now because her condition in a more forceful way.
about 1 month
Frustration...Frustration...FRUSTRATION! I am so at the end of my rope with my family member, My mother in law suffers from dementia. My husband is in denial, which I totally understand. But when he sees me on the verge of tears or when I am so pissed off that I walk around the house like a dark thunder cloud waiting to rain down seriously, you'd think he'd get it. But NO! But when he has to deal with her, he gets frustrated and takes it out on me, her PRIMARY caregiver. I clean her room, prepare her meals, wash her clothes, make doctor appointments, give her her medicines, bathe her (because she feels she doesn't do anything and doesn't need to take a bath), fix her bed when she's kicked off all of her bedding, wake up and get out of bed in the middle of the night when she pushes her button to change her channel, because she can't remember how to use the remote....... the list goes on and on. I am her full time caregiver, while my husband works a full time job. I knew what I was getting myself into, but I didn't realize it would be like this. Am I complaining, hell yes! Do I feel bad for doing so, hell yes! Have I expressed my frustrations, yes. I don't know if I came here for answers, but rather to vent and see if anyone else is about at the end of their rope as far as care-giving is concerned. At the end of the day, I love my mother in law, as well as my husband. But feeling like the non paid hired help is getting to be too much.
about 1 month
I am a caregiver for my husband who has dementia. He is putting me through so much grief. I am so stressed out with dealing with his moods. He wants me to do what ever he says at that moment. He has a really bad temper but has not hit me yet. I don't know how to handle my situation. I feel like crying all the time now. He can't be left alone so I really can't do anything for myself. Is there any advice you can give me.
about 2 months
Hi, I am a retired nurse in my 70's. My husband suffered a hemorrhagic stroke four years ago and another two years ago. The strokes effected his frontal temperal area and is in the early stages of dementia. The type of dementia that he has is a slow progressive type so I am in it for the long haul.. This in itself has caused a great deal of stress in my life, but to complicate things my 94 year old mother is now living with us as she can no longer care for herself in her home. I am the only daughter and one brother lives in another state and the other has MS so I am the only child that can care for her. My husband is constantly at odds with my mother and resents, I think, that she is living with us. This adds further stress in my life. My mother and husband are still able to perform their daily cares but I am concerned as each of them declines in physical and mental capacity, that I will not be able to manage both of them in the home. I am able to take care of them at this point and can leave them for short periods of time so I can get out and shop, go out with friends, and attend my activities so I don't need support there. I just need to talk to someone that is going through the same situation. I have supportive friends that say they are here if I need anything but I don't want to burn my bridges burdening them with my troubles at this stage. So I am hoping that this support group can help me.
My mother passed away 2 weeks ago. She had dementia, sundowners and lewey bodies. I cared for her for 3 years til she passed. She had paranoia, hullicinations and burst of anger. She threw things at me, hit me and threatened to kill me and my family almost daily. I was no longer caring for my mother because she was gone, i was caring for her outer shell. Every once in awhile mom would come back to me for a few minutes and this is what kept me going.
The havoc it created in my life, panic attacks and anxiety, hadto quit a job i workedfor almost 2o years, and stress between my husband and i. Home wasnt a happy place anymore.
Why did i keep her so long? Because i told her i would. Because i loved her and i knew putting her in a home they would keep her drugged because of her violent behaviors, i knew she would be scared, i was her lifeline and the only one who could make her feel safe.
She fell and hit her head, was knocked unconscious for a minute. I had a hospice nurse come out, they took her to respite care. I watched for 5 days as she passed from this world to her heavenly home where she is now free.
I miss her and i am sad but i really lost my mom long ago. Why cant i cry? Why arent i grieving? I feel relief and joy that she is in a better place and i feel guilt for that.
Thanks for listening
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