Alzheimer's & Dementia Care
Caring for a loved one who has Alzheimer's or another dementia? In addition to the Stage Groups via the Steps & Stages resource, we also offer this new online support group for family caregivers with loved ones across the stages of Alzheimer's or dementia. Please introduce yourself, share about your caregiving experience, and let us know how we can be of help to you.
Additional resources that may be helpful:
- Alzheimer's Info Center
- Memory Care Communities in U.S.
- Professional In-Home Caregivers
- Senior Money and Legal Resources
Group created in February 2014.
What's New Today
1 day ago
My mother passed away 2 weeks ago. She had dementia, sundowners and lewey bodies. I cared for her for 3 years til she passed. She had paranoia, hullicinations and burst of anger. She threw things at me, hit me and threatened to kill me and my family almost daily. I was no longer caring for my mother because she was gone, i was caring for her outer shell. Every once in awhile mom would come back to me for a few minutes and this is what kept me going.
The havoc it created in my life, panic attacks and anxiety, hadto quit a job i workedfor almost 2o years, and stress between my husband and i. Home wasnt a happy place anymore.
Why did i keep her so long? Because i told her i would. Because i loved her and i knew putting her in a home they would keep her drugged because of her violent behaviors, i knew she would be scared, i was her lifeline and the only one who could make her feel safe.
She fell and hit her head, was knocked unconscious for a minute. I had a hospice nurse come out, they took her to respite care. I watched for 5 days as she passed from this world to her heavenly home where she is now free.
I miss her and i am sad but i really lost my mom long ago. Why cant i cry? Why arent i grieving? I feel relief and joy that she is in a better place and i feel guilt for that.
Thanks for listening
9 days ago
I can see the slow decline of my MIL, but my husband can't or won't, I totally understand, well, not totally, but I understand the feelings he may have of not wanting to believe or accept the inevitable. But, we finally had a huge blow out a few days ago. The stress that I was so afraid would create friction, has, We hardly ever raise our voices to each other, but this came to a head! Full blown. I don't think I can take being her primary care giver anymore. I seriously don't think he gets it. I've tried talking to him, but I am such an emo crier, that I end up not getting all my feelings out. I feel so selfish when I say something. Hell, I fee;l selfish just venting here. All these health issues and her dementia are alcohol related! And that pisses me off even more! UGH! Sorry for the rant!
21 days ago
I live with my grandparents my grandfather was diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment in 2013. I noticed that it started to get worse in 2014 when my grandparents and I were at a restaurant he said something that told me that this is worse Grandma reveled that he does have dementia when I approached her privately about the incident. For the past 3 years since then I've noticed a decline in his mental abilities and its been getting harder for me to cope especially when he's having a bad day or he thinks he's working at the auto shop since he was a mechanic and owned his own business years ago he will panic think that he has to go to work or once I had to walk out with him because he thought he was working on a car he couldn't find and had to walk a block with him upset he couldn't find the car and I was embarrassed that the neighbors would hear the hissy fit. In addition now his drivers license has been revoked because the doctor said he shouldn't be driving no more. But he is still saying that he wants to drive and sometimes he brings up he wants to call the dmv and get it back and we don't want him to. Its had an effect on my stress at work my boss can see my emotions my coworkers, and customers have complained and know I'm stressed. my grandma at times gets really stressed I think she gets more than me since she's the primary caregiver but grandpa was a father figure and was of authority and its like a role reversal. I'm not sure how to cope with this or how to keep my insanity much longer if he gets worse anyone feel this way also
about 1 month ago
I am a long distance caregiver to my mother, who has dementia. She has been very resistant to going into care and we only got her to accept Homecare by telling her it was free, and paying for it ourselves. She seems to be able to get it together for her doctor, who doesn’t have much experience in this area. Her previous dr did but she decided she did not like him. So it has been an uphill battle with the dr. I finally got her assessed this spring and she did very well on the MMSE and quite poorly on the MoCA. The local Alzheimers association tells me that very bright people can often do better on the MMSE. Her dr has been relying on it. We have carefully sent him records of every incident we have, but it just seems he doesn’t want to deal with it, I’m getting exhausted even with Homecare. I’m 1000 miles away and my sibling is further, with no realistic way of moving. In the past three weeks she has called me to find out if it is night or day (at 1130 in the morning). I was able to get her seen but her regular dr was away and the locum called me to tell me Mom was doing fine. He didn’t know that the appointment had already been rescheduled once because Mom got confused about which dr she was seeing, so his receptionist sent her home. A few days later she got pulled over by the police for erratic driving and her licence is in the process of being revoked (her dr disagreed with us as to whether she should be driving at renewal time). There are other recent incidents. She has quarreled with almost every family member, so no one local will help her. She thinks everyone is out to get her or stealing from her. Her dr is back after the holidays and I have another call and letter in to his office about recent events. Mom has called every single day about something, sometimes more than once. I’ve been organizing all her paperwork and appointments for some time. I can’t do more. Yet to get her more help other than what I pay for privately needs her doctor’s support. As long as he believes she has capacity I can’t get her into a care facility, as she refuses to go. I know I’m doing what I can, just kind of at my limit today. Her cleaning lady called and gave me heck over cancelling an appointment for an emergency (non dementia related) medical issue, and that somehow put me over the edge. My kids are small and they don’t understand why my time lately is on the phone or in some other kind of communication. Guess I just need to tell someone.... thanks.
about 1 month ago
Ok gang this is a shocker! I'm caregiver to my mother who suffers from moderate dementia. She lives with me and I do her cooking, cleaning, bills, insurance etc... She even has difficulty dialing phone to make calls and even working tv remote at times. So yesterday we receive a package from Omaha steaks.... From her! Not only that, but she also managed to send one to my brother & SIL and to nephew ( one nephew is missing but she said was also ordered). I am in shock that she was able to do this and honestly feel somewhat duped... I would have bet you $1000 that she could not function well enough to do this. And of course when I admit to family that I knew nothing about this they then question everything I've been saying about mom's mental decline this year. (We live in another state and only see them once or twice a year when they drive 2 hours to visit her for an hour). Just wanted to see if anyone else has experienced this. I know people have moments of better clarity, but to order 4 gifts, with a credit card, shipped to 4 different addresses and I even got an email delivery notice.... Serious shock here!
about 1 month ago
My mother in law has been diagnosed with dementia, due to her excessive drinking. She has Wernicke-Korsakoff syndrome. I am her primary care giver. I have been since June. I feel like I am going to scream at times! I feel like there is no one who truly understands how I feel. I am generally a very nice, easy going fun person, but this is a new feeling for me. I quit a well paying job to become her care giver. I need to VENT!
3 months ago
So I need some advice. My mother-in-law has Lewy Body Dementia. 3 weeks ago she fell and was in the hospital for over two weeks. She is currently at a therapy center that also has long term care facility. She seems to be sundowning as last night was really bad. I called out to the facility today and was told she was given oxycodone for a headache. Tylenol wasn't even given. I am thinking of talking to her Dr on Monday and discuss with her to get rid of the oxycodone as she is not in pain. I'm thinking she might need an order of Ativan to help her with sundowning if it gets really bad. I having trouble with family members that are in denial of her disease. Has anyone had a loved one with Lewy Body Dementia had issues with sundowning. It seems after her fall the disease got much worse. I try to tell everyone we have no control over this disease but we need to come together and be there for mom. Any advice or information is greatly appreciated.
3 months ago
New to caring for spouse with memory loss has not b even diagnosed but I know..how do I v egin
4 months ago
My Mom who has AD has been in 2 Board and Care homes since Jan 2017. Each one had a major problem: dislocated jaw at #1 and at #2 they neglected to hold her Xeralto as instructed and she ended up bleeding "profusely". 911 was called. Also, she got ESBL prob. from Home #2. Maybe it is time to bring her back home. I don't know what to do.
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