Alzheimer's & Dementia Care
Caring for a loved one who has Alzheimer's or another dementia? In addition to the Stage Groups via the Steps & Stages resource, we also offer this new online support group for family caregivers with loved ones across the stages of Alzheimer's or dementia. Please introduce yourself, share about your caregiving experience, and let us know how we can be of help to you.
Additional resources that may be helpful:
- Alzheimer's Info Center
- Memory Care Communities in U.S.
- Professional In-Home Caregivers
- Senior Money and Legal Resources
Group created in February 2014.
What's New Today
I am new to this group and just looking for advice. I believe my dad who is in his 70's is in the middle stages of Alzheimer's. His grandmother, mother, and two out of his three sisters have passed away after suffering for years with the disease. My mom, sister and I have all known this could be the future of my dad. We have seen the beginnings of it for a few years. He has never been diagnosed with it because he has refused to take any of the tests. He sees his doctor regularly for check ups and other health issues. If he thinks they are questioning him to determine his mental health he gets angry and will leave. He has to have a physical in order to continue with his health care and one of the tests is a cognitive test and he refuses to take it. He has said many times that if he has it he will "take care of things"! And we all know what that means! We want him to get medical help for this but we are also dealing with the fear of a suicidal situation if he is diagnosed. Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated!
Dear Group: I had wrote earlier about my DW being in memory care, it has gone from good to bad in a month. She was smiling and somewhat happy when we first started and now she is angry and bruises on her wrists and arms, They have put her on Saraquill for her anger, has any one else had any dealing with this drug? Her back is hurting and she is miserable, I feel so bad for having started all this mess and don't really know what is best to do. I have called Hospice and Transitions and they said they would visit her. I hope they can tell me something. Maybe I should be looking for another facility. popi
about 1 month
Dear Group: I have put my dear wife of 63 years in a Memory Care, I realized I could no longer give her the care she needed. This is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. Now I am lost even though she is only 15 minutes away I miss her so. So where do I go from here? The seemingly good thing that has come out of this is I have moved from being her antagonist to her friend again. Please pray for US. popi
about 2 months
I live in Las Vegas, NV and trying to find a support group that has a family member taking care of a parent by themselves with very severe dementia.In NV if you can't afford an assisted living home and the only thing to do is have the state help. The state has what is called a " 5 year look back" of all assets for the one that needs assisted living.Mom refused to be taken off the deed to the house just 2 yrs ago. If she falls or gets sick and goes to the hospital I was told by the hospital that they would put here in a home. Twice that has happened and the Dr. told me when I begged him not to do it the last time she was hospitalized. He told me he was putting all info in her records and to be put in a home thru the ER computers in the county. If that happens, I was told by the state Medicade Agency they would take the house to pay for her care and any other assets, which there are none. I asked what about me.I was told go to friends or family.I told her Mom has alienated EVERYONE. I have no one to move in with. The lady said "SORRY, GOOD LUCK." Then hung up. So I have 3 yrs to make sure she doesn't go to hospital.She's 93 & had dementia since age 80.I've lived with her all this timeNow the dementia is severe. She violent, hateful. I hate this disease so much.My health is failing. I need 2 diff surgeries. No one to take care of her.No surgery.Just pain,stress and scared they'll put her in a home and take the house.I love her so much.I've never wanted her in a home.But I am so depressed,even cry some times when I wake up & find myself in the same place 24/7.Being on disability and her So. Sec. check, we make 236.00 to much to qualify for any help thru the state or private agencies.Not poor enough.Sorry for babbling on. This is the first time I've reached out. I just need something anything. I feel like her disease is sucking the life out of me and that soon I'll just die from the health probs I have mounting up. I hang on for her.I really don't care about the house now. If they did take it then there would be nothing left for me. Most of all my best friend taken from me because I failed.Hope someone is on the other end reading this. If not, just writing this has helped. Thank you Shar Happy Holidays
I care for my mother who is 89 yrs old diagnosed with Dementia over 15 yrs ago. Her "cycles" of dementia are driving me insane! One day she's on her death bed - the next she's up eating and up walking around on her own. When will this end?!
concerned d in law said...
My mother in law is 94, Recently scored 6 out of 30 on a cognitive test, Shes' living in ALF and is at the point where she is falling weekly. Mom is being given PT and is practicing on her walker. Mom has a necklace call button she can push anytime for help. Mom forgets to push or doesn't feel she needs to push it. She is very isolated in her studio apt. She does not have alot of friends, and does not enjoy the patient activities. I would love to see her more involved in activities or just hanging out in the lobby where there is always music, residents, visitors, musicians, etc. There would be more eyes on mom, and hopefully she would be safer. I understand from the facility they can only suggest she spend time out side of her apt., they cannot make her, and my husband who is there several times a week, and in daily contact with mom, cannot make this happen. Mom is not ready for memory care, she is at the highest level of care at her facility. We of course, only want her to be safe and get some quality of life daily. Mom is a lovely lady, has been the best mother in law a girl could hope for. Any advice? We would love to curb the falling.
My husband is 63 years old. I am 48. He started showing early signs of dementia about 4 1/2 years ago. His symptoms have likely been exacerbated by the stress associated with caring for me following my being mauled by a dog while on route as a UPS driver and subsequent treatment for PTSD. In hindsight, it's been the perfect storm in the worst way possible. Now, here we are, 4 1/2 years later, with me unemployable and waiting on disability appeal determination and him having concluded that I'm everything wrong and crazy in our lives. He will not or cannot recognize his decline. He has complete financial control after 21 years of marriage (it's complicated but involves family trusts and his nearly 92 year old mother who has Alzheimer's). Prior to the dog attack, I was financially independent and fierce. Now I'm dependent upon him for everything. Or, rather, have been. 2 months ago, I felt it necessary to move out after he became violent and threatened me. He later denied it, as per usual with dementia. I'm staying in one of our rental trailers part time and an RV the other. Regardless, here I am at nearly 50. 3 grown children living their lives 100 miles+ in 3 different directions, my "friends" ditched me when the going got tough during the worst of my PTSD (still in treatment for C-PTSD), no family except a sister 1500 miles away, "social limitations" as part of my diagnosis, unable to freely go anywhere as dogs are EVERYWHERE and so sad, lonely, alone and unsure how to go forward that I'm paralyzed. I'm searching for some insight if anyone cares to share.
Lady Gardener said...
I feel isolated with the problems of caring for my husband who has dementia. Our children are non supportive and I can't talk to them about how I feel. I do have someone come in to watch him so I can get to the grocery store or play cards at our senior center.
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