Can POA stop two elderly sweethearts who want to marry?

4 answers | Last updated: Sep 14, 2016
A fellow caregiver asked...

His daughter refuse to accept this relationship from 70 years ago. She has POA. He wants to travel with sweetheart, Daughter won't allow it. He has age related short term memory issues. (per his Dr.) Can this daughter stop him from marrying my Mom?

Community Answers

Chrisrn75495 answered...

If the POA is already in effect, in other words, if he already has been found to be not in his right mind (non compos mentis), then they'd have to petition a court and have the POA changed.

I have seen children manipulate a parent to revoke a POA and change a will in order to try to cut out a sibling. It would be nice if the same process could be used for good.

How this worked was they rehearsed the older man to have the right answers to the right questions which was what day is this, what's the date, where are you, who are you, that sort of thing. The best time to do this is in the morning. If the person can convince a social worker or a lawyer that he can make this decision for himself, he may be able to get the POA lifted and changed to someone else.

POA is not to control or imprison someone, it is to make decisions (usually financial and medical) when and if and only when and if the person cannot do it for themselves.

Good luck to you. Don't give up. These two probably love each other quite a bit. Anything less would not last 70 years. God bless.

Mariamarta answered...

i think the first answer (from ChrisRN75495) confuses a POA with legal guardianship. A POA -- signed and witnessed by two others, though not necessarily in front of a lawyer and not involving the court, ALLOWS the daughter to do only the things specified in the POA agreement on behalf of her dad when he cannot. Court ordered legal guardianship -- which is issued by the court AFTER proving someone cannot make decisions for himself-- is a completely different thing. Does the daughter have a POA or legal guardianship? If a standard POA, she can't stop her dad from marrying (unless the POA has some unique, oddball statement relating to the daughter controlling future marriages). If she has court ordered legal guardianship (issued by a judge after a hearing), then she can stop the marriage unless the court decides otherwise after petitioned again.

Please run this by a lawyer or social worker before giving up or going to court.

A fellow caregiver answered...

How are the elderly sweethearts doing? Any update?

Sweethearts kid answered...

Mom is traveling to Ga. for Christmas and is afraid to mention the marriage to anyone until she is there with "him". They are hoping if they confront this daughter together, they may get a more favorable reaction. She plans on moving right in with him in his independant living apartment. The daughter is not going to LIKE THAT! I can't help but think she is concerned about his $$$$$~ How can I find out if she has gardianship? Should it be "public record"?