Does my husband have symptoms of dementia?
Does my husband have symptoms of dementia? My husband, 70 years of age, has lung cancer, and has been pink slipped by three hospitals over the last 3 years; his behavior is erratic and unpredictable, often happening rapidly from up to down. He has been tested twice and and seems to be able to fool the cognitive/mental tests; yet he is often confused, repeats questions over and over, forgets, changes mind, often within minutes and lies. Some days he seems to be able to function more normally, but I never know when he will change his mind or find out that his statements are untrue. He has made some very bad personal decisions, financial, relationships, acquisitions. Everyday living with his behavior is a nightmare. His brain MRI shows atrophy of frontal/temporal lobes, previous history of depression. I am not getting much information from any professionals. Any idea of what is happening to this man to cause his increasingly abberant behavior? Are these signs of dementia?
Your husband has obvious dementia symptoms, somewhat consistent with one of the less common, younger onset dementias called frontal temporal dementia (FTD). His ability "to fool" the testers is typical of people with FTD. First, ask yourself if this is a significant change from the person he was (when he wasn't depressed). People with FTD initially have less noticeable memory complaints, and more prominent changes in personality, mood, behavior, insight, judgment and empathy (his ability to understand your feelings). His MRI would suggest a frontal problem which could be an atypical depression, but regardless, it will affect his "executive function" or ability to plan and carry out wise personal or financial decisions. He may have recent onset of addictive or compulsive behaviors or he may seem to have lost inhibition or his social censor which reminds him what is appropriate public behavior. Perhaps his oncologist could encourage him to see a specialist in memory disorders? Perhaps you could get him to see a specialist for a symptom that IS bothering him or which seems less stigmatizing or more familiar to him.? Could you suggest he may be depressed again, and there are successful treatments for depression? The goal of adequate diagnosis and treatment justifies the means. Find a way to deliver a description of his symptoms to the specialist before the appointment or at least when your husband is not present. If it is FTD, it is a very tough diagnosis and perhaps the toughest on families. The unpredictable Jekyll and Hyde behavior and his lack of judgment pose real safety risks for both of you. Don't give up on getting a diagnosis and finding a psychiatrist or memory disorders specialist who will work with you. Remember, if he does have FTD or a dementia diagnosis, he is behaving in ways he wouldn't normally choose. His statements are untrue not to spite you, but because he can't think, reason or control his behavior as he has in the past. You will have to learn to work around him, rather than confront him and ask him to change.
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Early diagnosis and the right medication along with a great deal of patience and love is important.
I feel for you. The signs and symptoms you have described could almost have been written by me about what we have been living for a few years now.
After trying to talk last night (at the suggestion of hubby's psychologist before I had a chance to have a private discussion with him) it is clear that there will be no more discussion between us about the symptoms - I'll be trying the 'work around him' method provided in the answer already posted. I will have to deal directly with the GP for the time being. Although I'm not sure how this will work for testing!
I am about to try to get a diagnosis for my mid-50s partner and he is well able to 'fool' testers at the moment. I'm hoping scans show something, anything, and that we can get some sort of diagnosis. At the moment I'm just trying to follow some of the suggestions that the experts and those with lived experience here suggest for partners/carers of those with FTD.
Today I spoke with the psychologist and he agreed that it is probably best to now deal directly with the GP. Although has forewarned me that for the neuropsychological parts of the testing hubby will be fully aware of what it is for. He is tried to remain hopeful that there will be an 'organic', as he put it, explanation for the symptoms - although he did say dementia is outside his area of expertise.
I know that my partner too is completely able to 'fool' the testers. I can only take some hope that the list of signs and symptoms (complete with examples of incidents/events and any reactions) I prepared for the psychologist and GP are of some help.
The list did help a bit - the first time I spoke to the doctor I spent most of the time crying! This way I can just hand the summary over.
I'm hoping early diagnosis will help - but then, what's early? First 5 years? First 10?
I've noticed the changes over at least the last 5 years - rather, that's when they became too obvious for me to pretend anymore. Before then I thought they might be attributed to depression or mid-life crisis or something else. Since then others have noticed, until the last couple of years when the lies, inappropriate public conversation and behaviour, moodiness and anger became really evident, along with the short term memory issues.