Is There a Type of Assisted Living Where My Disabled Adult Sister and My Mother Can Live?

Rkrispie asked...

Mom has parkinson's and can no longer live alone and manage food/medicines, etc. Adult (50s) mentally challenged daughter has always lived with her and is not mentally able to help out. They are both very fearful of living apart. Is there any type of assisted living where they can be together?

Expert Answer

Carolyn Rosenblatt, R.N. and Attorney is the author of author of The Boomer's Guide to Aging Parents. She has over 40 years of combined experience in her two professions. As a nurse, she has extensive experience with geriatrics, chronic illness, pain management, dementias, disability, family dynamics, and death and dying. As a trial attorney, she advocated for for the rights of injured individuals and neglected elders. She is also co-founder of

You ask about assisted living for a disabled adult and your elderly mother. As long as you are able to pay out of pocket for the monthly cost of assisted living, there are suitable choices available in many communities. A smaller facility with flexible accommodations for a mentally challenged person would probably work and would allow your mother and daughter to be cared for in the same location. Some facilities have twin beds and allow couples or roommates to share and therefore reduce the cost. The care of a mentally challenged person is not so different from caring for someone with cognitive impairment. Many assisted living places do so. For most people, cost is a barrier. A mentally challenged person who is unable to work probably lives on Social Security Disability or some other public benefit. Unfortunately, in almost all states, public benefits do not cover assisted living. However, if Mom has enough income to pay for the room or apartment and can share with daughter, their combined incomes may be enough to meet the monthly charges. I suggest doing a search for a suitable facility for Mom and looking for one that allows two to a room or apartment for the best price you can find. There are many resources available to assist you with the search. The social services department of your county may be a starting point, particularly if the mentally challenged daughter already has an assigned social worker.