Is refusing cancer treatment a selfish act?
If a person refuses treatment for cancer, is it being selfish to the rest of the family? I have seen many people die from it even after they took treatment and while they were taking treatment they suffered terribly.
A decision about whether to accept treatment for cancer is a personal matter, and there is no right or wrong. One must start by carefully weighing the potential risks of the treatment and the potential benefits of the treatment. The person with cancer must ultimately decide which choice is in their overall best interest. "Selfish" has a negative connotation, as though the person with cancer is inappropriately thinking of himself or herself instead of others. In this case one must think of oneself, because it is ultimately the person with cancer who will have to deal with the consequences. One of the factors to consider, however, in addition to the risks and benefits of the potential treatment, is the effect either decision will have on family members and close friends.
If you are the person with cancer and you are seriously considering a choice to refuse treatment, I would encourage you to speak with the people closest to you about it. It is possible they will feel hurt, believing you are choosing to die rather than to spend time with them. It would likely be very helpful to them if they understood how and why you made your decision, or what it is you are wrestling with. It is even possible such a discussion will give you a new perspective that leads you to change your mind. This is a situation where a mental health professional may be invaluable. Such a person could help facilitate a discussion between you and the people you are concerned about, and help you each to understand what the other is experiencing. Hopefully this will lead to you supporting each other through this very challenging time.
Well yes refusing treatment for cancer was selfish,first the poor surgeon he must have been upset when I was wheeled back out of the operating theatre. but it was his own fault he should not have told me fairy tales about keyhole surgery.in the first place Seven years on I apologise. Kenneth Robbins see's it how it is .the surgeon should not have bypassed my choice,of his nasty treatment by painting a false rosy picture.my second opinion surgeon gave me the nasty facts.I declined his kind offer of stomach removal and liver tumour investigation
No, it is not selfish to refuse cancer treatment since there are no guarantees or even high probabilities of remission. If anything, it is selfish of other people to try to force the person with cancer (possibly using guilt) to suffer through treatment for their sake.
My mom (a non-smoker all her life), was diagnosed at the end of February this year with lung cancer. She was told that without treatment she probably had 6-9 months to live and with treatment she probably had 2-2.5 years to live. After wrestling with the decision she reluctantly decided to undergo chemotherapy as suggested by the oncologist. She survived just under 5 months from time of diagnosis (not even the 6-9 months she probably would have had if she had refused treatment) and her quality of life was severely reduced by the treatment. She didn't die from the lung cancer but died instead from the treatment. Specifically, she was sent for a blood transfusion because she was too anaemic to be able to continue with chemotherapy. She had a bad reaction to the blood transfusion (a hemolytic transfusion reaction occurred as she had hemolytic anemia overlooked by the oncologist) and died several days after the transfusion. I'm certainly not saying that treatment isn't worthwhile. Of course, in many cases it saves lives but for many cancer patients (like my mom), quality of life is more important than quantity. For those people with young children and/or those who want to maximise their chance of staying alive (even if it requires hardship and suffering), it may make sense to them to undergo chemotherapy. However, it's a personal decision that must be made by the person with cancer. Obviously though, they must be given all relevant information first including treatment options, probabilities of success, possible side-effects of treatment and the likely course of the illness if treatment is declined. Personally, I was relieved that my mom decided to undergo some chemotherapy. However, she had decided that regardless of whether or not the treatment was working, she was only going to have one more cycle of treatment after the blood transfusion. At first she refused to even go for the blood transfusion. I really thought it was best for her to go for the transfusion and do one more cycle of chemo. But, even though the oncologist told me that my mom was being foolish and asked me to convince her to go, I said that it was my mom's decision and I would support her regardless of whether or not I thought the decision was a good one. The bottom line is, the person with cancer must be supported in their decisions even if other people don't agree with the decision. No-one knows what is going to happen one way or the other.
Yes My sister in law who was very perky when diagnosed with cancer the chemo soon finished her off two months,she lasted The usual,reason the cancer had spread.My cancer had spread. But the bodies own immune system can stop cancer spreading,given the chance.but chemo attacks the immune system and allows the cancer to spread My cancers that spread are now dead the main cancer is contained,at present.
If a equal number of people were not treated as were treated we could compare but I only heard of person who refused treatment a oldtime film actress she lived too.Not like Farrah Fawcett,They removed her cancers she was tumour free then they gave the full works chemo and radiation,to makee sure. She then grew a whole new set of cancers and soon died.I felt Oh! if only she had settled,for being clear.But the medical profession believe it is better to over treat.No lawsuits then.
yes I am cynical Seven years on death row,did it.I treat every day as my last, Positively! I love shareing my experiences.
I do not advocate refusing treatment but dont just put your life in others hands Think, look at the odds.I have 12% chance of surviving for only five years with treatment.I have lived 7 years.without.
It could, just be that I have a good immune system,but I have given it all the help I possibly can.
I was operated on March 4th for colon cancer it was located in the large intestine. I came through with what the surgeon said they had gotten all of it. I did see an oncologist who wanted to push right away into chemo. After being told I probably wouldn't have to have any chemo, I was going to be pushed into this by the oncologist. I went for a second opinion with another oncologlist in a different facilty. He talked with my husband and I for over an hour. He stated the pros and cons and told me I would have to make up my own mind. Although I had help from family who are in health care profession I also had help from my pcp and read and looked into other ways of doing things naturally. Like eating better, doing supplements and excercising. Also having prayers and strength from family, friends and strangers. I have been keeping appointments with my personal doctor and the surgeon, and they have been also been supportive. They also have seen the progress I have gone through, like ie: looking healthier, stronger, perky and blood work coming back to normal. I grateful for all their support and help. I hope I can stay this way and not have to go through this again. I do not like what I see and hear about so called chemo or radiation treatments. I watched my neighbor die last February from cancer and the rediation which burnt her. Like the other blog that I read she didn't die from cancer but from the treatments. I agree you have to make up your own mind in different situations.
Oh greendeer40 thank you at last someone who has been there too, My father had cancer it did not kill him. but he got radiation poisoning How he suffered.before dying That said there are people who do not have problems with chemo or radiation treatment,but they seem to be a minority.
Just an after thought I never take any drugs at all no painkillers.
I do anything that is known to help my immune,system.A side affect of this at near eighty.I wrenched my back lifting wifes electric trolly into the car.could not get out of my armchair,Next day it had improved I played golf.it then improved day by day,next I got tennis elbow useing shears to cut through the jungle that my garden had grown into.I ignored the pain(not recommened)and it has now gone away.thought do you think evolution or god could have designed such poor body as ours appears to be?my body that was useless.always breaking down hense cancer. properly treated is amazing my joints are great ,stomach great,,bowels great,
How did we manage to evolve without Doctors?yes some did not and could have done with modern treatment.but this present generation are rattling with doctors pills.codeine can cause the headache you take to cure it ,and therefore it becomes addictive.
yes I am looking down from my pinnacle of experience.
sorry, if you have it flaunt it. is my motto.
I have a different slant on a cancer suffer being selfish I know surviving my cancer depends on remaining up beat.,no depression allowed. My disabled wife gets a better quality of life if she stays with her sister.who is a qualified care nurse,also they get on so well,laughing all the time. So I let her stay with her sister,after just a month my wife had lost over a stone in weight and the swelling of her feet and legs have gone down.but I missed her so much I could not bear it.so she only goes on short visits now.but I know she would fare better with long stays.I have tried compensate with house renovations and trips out.but I still feel guilty. 11 sept I think my wife was a bit miffed at me saying "she can stay as long as she liked." I was being a martyr, and she thought I did not need her Now she ask,s can I stay a day longer,I reluctantly agree She seem's happier with that approach..
Welcome to the octoman site. It is a lonely place . Trouble with cancer so many people are dying from it,every day. The medical profession,have to be up beat . Come to us and be cured,they shout. the earlier we get you the better.Except with cancer it is very secretive,by the time it is found it is usually too late. My wife had no trouble,her precancerous were found. the operation caused so many after problems .But cancer never reared its ugly head again.so far.
No, I do not think it is selfish. We are not the ones who will be injected with chemo or burned with radiation. We will not be wheeled in and out of operating rooms and stuck with needles. The person who has the disease must decide what they will endure. It is just not fair to make someone suffer this kind of pain, to make us feel better or so that we won't be "left behind."
I just lost someone who was diagnosed in 2004 and showed no symptoms until mid-2008. He opted to forego treatment. He knew with 2 cancers, it was unlikely all the chemo and radiation would extend his life very much, if at all. He'd been hospitalized for a year, as a child, and did not want to be in and out of hospitals again. Instead, he was a partyer and wanted to go out partying, amongst friends, which he did, up until the last 5 months. He died quietly home, like he wanted. Of course he was sad, he was not ready to die at all at 45, but he lived his final years the way he wanted and isn't that what matters, really? (He did not have small children. His 2 kids were 18 and 21).
I am a 2 time cancer survivor. Neither time did I have chemotherapy or radiation due to the odds with each. The first cancer was Uterine/Ovarian I had a total Hysterectomy and oophorectomy, in layman's terms they removed my Uterus and ovaries. I did not receive any Radiation or Chemotherapy, it was offered to me however I refused as the odds of either one of them killing me were higher than them helping me. I have been free from that cancer for 17 years. One year later I was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma & told that I had 18months to live. I was directed to get my affairs in order, find someone to raise my son & start Chemotherapy. My Son was 3 years old at the time. I went and got 3 different opinions all of them gave me a 60% chance of Chemotherapy killing me. I didn't take it. Instead, I am a Christian, I went to God. I got down on my knees and asked that he take the cancer away from me. When one prays for healing & chooses an alternative method to cure something like cancer, Doctors tend to fly off the handle ;-) As a Team Leader of a LIVESTRONG Army, a grassroots program of the Lance Armstrong Foundation, I decided this is MY life & I WILL Have it MY WAY!(taken from the Manifesto of the Lance Armstrong Foundation.
I apologize for straying a bit but I felt that if you knew where I was "coming from" it would be much easier to understand my reasoning behind what I have to say.
Is it selfish to the family for a person to decide not to be treated for cancer. No! It is a persons right to have their life, just that ... THEIR LIFE. Whether it be short or long, ultimately we have no control over when our "time" is.
More families than not want their loved one to stay with them for as long as possible and may feel slighted that a person decides they don't want to be ill, burnt and possibly die from a treatment designed to possibly help the cancer go into remission.
Ours is not the only organization out here to support recently diagnosed cancer patients, their family & friends as well as survivors. Most of which have a mentality of allowing the patient to make decisions that they are comfortable with and helping the family cope with those decisions. This also brings into light the need for many legal documents. Things like Power of Attorney, Living wills, DNR's as well as assigning a Patient Health Advocate with durable powers of attorney for health care. Here are some better definitions of what I refer to above. "In some jurisdictions, a Durable Power of attorney can also be a Health Care Power of Attorney", an advance directive which empowers the attorney-in-fact (proxy) to make health-care decisions for the granter, up to and including terminating care and ending life supports that are keeping a critically and terminally ill patient alive. Health care decisions include the power to consent, refuse consent or withdraw consent to any type of medical care, treatment, service or procedure. DNR or Do Not Resuscitate order, this one basically speaks for itself but for those of you who would like it simplified; when a person signs a DNR it means that if their heart should stop and they should stop breathing they do not want brought back. This is a personal choice and needs to be made by the person who is terminally ill. Under most state laws the person in question must still be of sound mind. A living will is a written statement of a person's health care and medical wishes but does not appoint another person to make health care decisions. New York State has enacted a Health Care Proxy law that requires a separate document be prepared appointing one as your health care agent" ~ My attorney The latter varies from State to State and all of the above should be done through your attorney. However, there are many cancer non-profits who will help you so your paperwork is in order. Most Doctors offices, Hospitals and Cancer centers can help you with these forms. I hope I have helped in some small way. At the end of the day any cancer victim or terminally ill person had the right to decline any treatment they wish. It is not selfish ... it is THEIR life. LIVESTRONG Jade Please visit LIVESTRONG.org for help if you are in need, or would like to get involved. Jade
Each person is individually responsible for their own health and healing, whatever paths those may be. YOU are not responsible for anyone else's negative energy, only your own. So, my answer is no.
A most pertinent topic with interesting blog. At 66 years and in fine health, with two sons and four grandkids, I have made a decision never to have treatment for any life-threatening disease that may come my way.
My allocated time of three-score years and ten is nearing and my quality of life as an occasional smoker, a bloke who enjoys a daily beer, a respected dad and loved husband and grandfather, suggests I have been blessed.
I will not put myself or my family through the seemingly endlessness of treatment; the visits to hospitals and the entire set of difficult logistics just to prolong my life.
I have told my family this and they just laugh...'you'll outlive us, dad!'
But they do respect my wishes for a dignified in-control exit when the time comes. I am a veteran of the Vietnam War and decided three years ago to end all psychotherapy medication that put my mind into endless confusion. How wonderful after decades of treatment on behavioural matters to be able to think clearly and rationally and become a member of my family again.
Too often our problems are enshrined in the medico philosophy 'Iatrogenesis' which translates that many of our ailments are indeed doctor-caused. Too often the global medication industry persuades doctors to prescribe medication that detracts rather than adds to our quality of life.
The big question that flows from this topic is...how long do we want to live if our quality of life is lessened by disease and its treatment?
At my age, so far so good. I have lost friends who never made their 22nd birthdays and so every day is a bonus.
I have went through kemo 3 years for 6months and that put my family through hell!!! so to say it is selfish not to do it again if the cancer has came back is absoulutly crazy!!! i will not ever put my family or me through kemo again!!!!! so be careful who u r calling selfish!!!!
I was just diagnosed 7 weeks ago with Multiple Myeloma. My choice is a deeply personal choice of strengthening my immune system, stop feeding the cancer and to detox my body. I have had interventions, oncologists doctors who refuse to talk to me about my path. My family has threatened to drive me directly to the hospital for chemo. If I hear one more person say to me, 'look at Steve Jobs'....
I'm a 54 year old male who refuses treatment because the protocols of treatment are barbaric to me. I've studied a nutritionally holistic approach that i must refuse to speak about out loud. I feel wonderful, lost 10 pounds because of my no sugar and high juicing.
I appreciate this blog, I've really had no where to speak...I'm being treated as a quack. People die from chemo everyday. People die from alternative choices. Cancer just plain kills. I want my body to be in charge not a pill.
No, it is not selfish to refuse chemotherapy. I resent people who claims that a person is selfish for refusing chemotherapy. First of all, the person suffering from cancer is the one who has to deal with the pain, nausea, fatigue, and so many other side effects of the chemo. It's easy for the rest of us to sit on our asses and say "Don't leave us! It's selfish if you do!" In other words, we're neglecting the person's pain/suffering and we're secretly wanting him to prolong his misery just for the sake of us enjoying his presence for a bit longer? If a person chooses to reject chemotherapy and let nature run its course (by dying at a natural time), I say, all the power to him. I'd do the same thing. Screw what everyone else thinks. Wait until it happens to THEM and they'll realize how AWFUL it is to be puking 24/7 from the chemo treatments. Then they'll shut up and realize it is HELL. So, please, people, stop laying the guilt trip on others if they're suffering and choosing not to receive treatments for their own personal reasons.
Everyone with a cancer diagnosis check out the Budwig Diet. Good luck.
"Selfish" is one of the most misunderstood and misused words in the English language. To be a cancer patient and have everyone in your life hope you'll have surgery and chemotherapy; which itself is a carcinogen, is to be on the receiving end of what selfish really is. If a loved one wants to see me go through that Hell, aren't they then, the selfish one(s)? We're ALL selfish. To be on this earth, taking up space, is selfish. The government and FDA have no interst in finding a cure; there's no money to be made from natural ingredients. Proper diet, certain supplements, changes in behaiour and thoughts, they all help the cancer patient. That's the route I've chosen and I'll never have my breast completely hacked off only to be replaced by an unreasonable facsimile. I sure as hell won't submit to chemotherapy, which itself causes cancer. Surgery cannot take out all the cancerous cells, in fact it loosens them so they then flow throughout your blood stream only to form a new type of cancer elsewhere in one's body. I've found a great book, it's called "A Good Enough Life." I recommend it to anyone who's facing this monster of a disease. The stories of the dying are contained within. I've seen my share of people go through traditional Western treatments and still, their cancer comes back. My aunt had breast cancer 3 times in 11 years. They're watching her now, worried about a 4th occurence. I've seen how helpful and curative their treatments are. We cancer patients need to stand up as a group and say a collective "NO!" Maybe, just maybe, then, the medical community will have to admit/confess that there are natural cures for this disease. They sure haven't made any headway in curing it.
I just joined so I could follow your hollistic paths. Food is thy medicine and medicine is thy food! I believe this whole heartedly! Please keep us updated on how you are doing. Juicing is a wonderful cure, hallelujah acres is a great website, h2o2 is worth researching.....there are many many others I could share! Blessing to all!
I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer last year and had it operated on. Fortunately no chemo or radiation was required however I have decided, since I lived a long enough life (70), am a widow whose husband passed away 5 years ago, had a successful career and raised three wonderful children, that if cancer is diagnosed anywhere else whereby chemo is required that I will refuse treatment. My main objective would be to save what funds I have for my children and grandchildren instead of depleting what funds I have. I also do not wish to endure the pain of treatment (basically a wuss) and I feel I have lived a good life, travelled everywhere I have ever wanted to go, and want my children to inherit "more" rather than see me suffer and become my caretakers.
Try gerson therapy , essiac tea or apricot kernels
I went thro chemo and radiation, surgery for breast cancer. I found another lump, probably scar tissue. But it set me on a journey of thought. I can't do that again. Not to me, not to my family. I'm 56, I've had a great life. I'll see you at the gate!!! Am I selfish?? NO!!! It's my life to choose. We all die. I watched my Dad suffer and die from the chemo that was to help him live longer from lung cancer. It was a tragic lie. Never again for me. Bless you.
No, I do not think refusing chemo and radiation treatments is being selfish. I just lost my father to cancer on the 3/19/2013. Last February he was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. They could not find it on an x-ray but found the tumors on a c-scan of his lungs. He let the doctors perform a biopsy and when the results came back cancerous he chose to do the chemo treatments. The doctors told him he would have a better quality of life if he did the chemo. This was not true. My father suffered from the treatments and never got to have a good quality of life. Finally they said the cancer was in his his liver and that he had 3 months to live if he was lucky. The doctors told him there was nothing more they could do. He lived about a month and a half after they told him. I personally think it is a money racket after going through this with my father. The treatments are not cheap. My father had excellent heath insurance and I think the hospital tried to milk the insurance company for all it was worth. Basically he suffered and never got his quality of life. If we could do it all over again, I would have told him to get a second opinion and give it a few weeks before making a decision. Always seek a second opinion. Do not let the doctors do a biopsy until you get another C-scan at a different location. I think it would be best left undisturbed. Do another C-scan and have both results examined.
I don't think it's selfish to refuse treatment for any disease, so long as the person making the decision is mentally competent to do so. Your body, your choice, right?
What I do find deeply offensive and upsetting is when families deliberately withhold the diagnosis from the person who has the disease. In my line of work, I see this quite often - "My mother will just give up if she knows she has cancer, so we have decided as a family not to tell her". It's a total disgrace to treat people so appallingly.
But if it's your cancer, and you want to treat yourself with a bizarre diet, magical water or prayer, then more power to you, and good luck. But don't be under any illusions - if diet worked, if apricot kernels worked, if alkaline water or homeopathy worked, then oncologists would use it.
@PeteH, Thank you, I have been being treated for breast mets to the liver for 4 yrs, and I'm tired. I have recently started thinking of stopping my treatment. I have discussed this with some family members, and they are with me whatever I decide, one even telling me that "they are being selfish" for wanting me to keep trying different things. I agree with what you said about alternative treatment, while it may or may not work for some, I know if my oncologist thought it would work, she would tell me to do it. She is loving and caring, and blunt, because I have asked her to be. She said I will tell you when I think we are done, I know she doesn't want me to die. If all those natural things worked, well wouldn't all be healed? I think it is a very personal decision. One I plan to think more on.
When is a person incapable of making a rational decision about this? If someone suffers from untreated depression and would rather die from the cancer than have treatment (assuming the cancer is treatable), is that still a decision that should be supported? Under this condition it is almost like not helping someone who is suicidal. I'm all for a rational decision to forego treatment, but I'm not sure a depressed person is in a position to make this decision rationally. Also, what should the person foregoing treatment expect from the caregiver?
I have hep c for 20 years and now cirrhosis for the last 9 years so Ive decided that I will not undergo any treatments ,I have seen three people in my family die of cancer and I will not go that way I am not depressed Just accepted the fact that I am dying ,iy;s ok Im Happy
As a person who had major surgery for cholangiocarcinoma (bile duct cancer) and then refused both chemo and radiation, I have to say that, so far, I don't regret that decision. It's been 16 months since my surgery now, and yes, the cancer has returned and spread, but I've been able to travel, spend time with my family and friends, and generally do whatever I want, without being tied to the hospital or feeling ill from side effects. My family doesn't have to watch me go through the rigors of treatment, either--only to die anyway. On the other hand, I have a friend with pancreatic cancer (which has similar grim survival odds), and he has chosen to undergo two different types of chemo, so far. Each of us respects the other's decision. It's different for every person, and I suggest that if you are ever faced with this choice, do the research, look at the odds, know what you're up against, get a second opinion, and please don't operate on blind faith or out of fear. Then do what your gut tells you.
I was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer 9 months ago. I had radiation on the primary tumor and then refused any further chemo because they could not guarantee it would help. Since I had seen 3 siblings and 1 mother all die from cancer despite the chemo, I declined it. I am treating my cancer holistically and my PET scan as of 2 weeks ago prove what I am doing is the right thing. Some of my cancer has decreased and some has stayed the same, not growing or becoming more active. The body can heal itself and it is done everyday. Read Radical Remission and learn how people around the world are healing themselves. I think chemo is the biggest scam in the world and millions of people are being told to take it when it fact it will do nothing to cure their cancer or extend their life. It's been shown, doing nothing will get you the same amount of time, maybe more and you'll be a lot happier and healthier for it.
I had been diagnosed with bladder cancer approximately a year ago. This does not mean I haven't had Bladder cancer longer. Symptoms prove I have. It was called "High Grade Hematuria." At first I took local treatments. No Chemo and no radiation. I just allowed BCG. BCG is where they inject TB virus into one's bladder in hopes it will excite the immune system into battling the cancer. It was to know avail. Then I was told they wanted to do more tests and studies to determine as to whether or not they should remove my bladder; That ended it all. I cancelled all appointments and told them I will keep my bladder, thank you down the hall, thanks lots. It is now a little over 6 months. This cancer is worsening but has not metastasized. I have made POWERS OF ATTORNEY and "Do Not Resuscitate" instructions in writing. We all have to die sometime. I had been diagnosed with Melanoma 17 years ago. I still get tumors now and again. I also have had skin cancers removed. To answer the question "is it selfish to refuse cancer treatment?" For me, it is not selfish. From the Medical Profession's viewpoint, I may be selfish as it is they that are not getting the millions. They have written some very negative reviews on my attitude. Imagine that.. Again We are all going to die some day. Keep your dignity.
Selfish, is an overused and misunderstood word indeed. The person suffering from the cancer is being selfish in their choice not to receive treatment if they do not wish to and rightfully so. We should be entitled to make our own choices of how we chose to live and die in as far as it is possible. This is beautifully selfish. What is UGLY and selfish is to expect someone who is suffering the indignity of cancer to suffer needlessly because the people around them are having difficulty with the inevitability of their demise. Let's talk about some real facts here. Most people dying of cancer are NOT blessed with decent health care or money. Who do you think is going to pay for the treatments and health care in the end? It does create resentment, pressure and guilt for all involved. These are some of the things that we ignore and in its place leave flowery platitudes about the importance of living. How is this any type of a life to live for the person suffering and the people that may or, in many cases may NOT, stick with them when they are suffering through something so painful on every level? We all die at some point. We are not meant to be here forever. There is more to living than struggling to keep breathing. Dying is a natural part of living and NO we are not all meant to live lengthy lives.The sooner that we accept this fact the better off we will all be.
Cancer is selfish.... I'm opting out of traditional treatment if i ever am faced.... It didn't help anyone in my family... I'm going to fight it by not fighting it... i have an Awesome God... The outcome remains the same.. Either way, I will be with Him...and He with me...
I am stage 3b colon cancer.Had surgery and Oncologist says adjuvant chemo.So tried the Xeloda.After 3 doses darn near died I was so sick. No more thank you. At 69 life has been good. Just won't suffer in the remainder of what I have left.
I have gone thru radiation, chemo, colon resection. Surgery second time 2 weeks latter because resection failed, stool in stomach cavity and got a ileostomy . I have been in severe pain almost always, from May 15 to date. I have had maybe 15 days without pain. Got burned by radiation, problems urinating. If I knew all this would happen to me I would have said no to surgery. Hopefully the ileostomy will be reversed in 2 weeks. Everybody has a right to there own decisions and know its not selfish to say no to treatment. I would have if I only knew. I will never be the same.
I am 61 years old and just had my first colonoscopy last week. The Dr. removed 3 polyps and said that I had a 1.7cm tumor in the rectum. They immediately sent me over to get a ct scan of the stomach and pelvic area and also a chest x-ray. They then found a mass in the upper lobe of my left lung. I see the surgeon in 4 more days and they are going to tell me whether they will be doing radiation before or after the surgery. Well, I am refusing it totally. I had malignant melanoma in 2001, so they figured I was high risk. But I have seen and heard too many stories of what radiation and chemo does to your body. I am eating only raw foods, healthy green drinks, exercising and enjoying every day. We will see what happens after my appointment. I love life, but not afraid to die. I am in good hands......thank you Jesus for my life!
If cancer doesn't kill you then chemo will. Just when your body needs it's immune system more than ever it gets injected with poison. I live a very preventative cancer lifestyle. But would never have chemo. My dad has cancer & I wanted him to refuse chemo & just have the op. Then cure himself with diet. 3 rounds of chemo knocked him sideways. Aged him 20 yrs. Iv told him to refuse anymore. It doesn't help
So nice to see so many good answers from honest people. I did a search for this question, and thankfully, this site came up.
At age 60, I was asked why I didn't do the "normal" things people my age do. I talk no drugs, I see no doctors, I've never had a colonoscopy and never intend to. I eat well, diet sometimes, am not more than 20 pounds overweight, and I do smoke and drink.
I've thought about this for years, and especially after seeing people live with various diseases, or die from them. I will not live without a stomach or other body part, I simply will not. I will not poison my body so I can wait for the next torture. I've always been beyond squeemish thinking about things like open heart surgery, by passes, external bags, etc... They freak me out without having those things done, experiencing them would be worse than death for me.
So that's my honest answer. I hope they understand it.
I would refuse chemo. I live a cancer free life taught to me from a friend who cured herself of cancer. So assuming I won't get it. I eat organic everything. Pesticides cause cancer, Parabens free toiletries Parabens linked to cancer, I don't drink, smoke & I'm not fat, I don't use plastics they are linked to cancer. I don't eat meat or dairy hormones & drugs in meat linked to cancer, I don't take HRT or contraceptive pills they are linked to cancer, I don't use a microwave. As u see a lot of things can give u cancer u don't just randomly get it, then poisoning yourself more with chemo is suicide. If u get cured it will come back & kill u eventually unless u r living a cancer free lifestyle. Our bodies are complex machines u mess with nature they go wrong. Cancer active website is good.
Just found a 5 cm tumor in my right lung. Have been a smoker all my life. Did a cat scan, does not appear to have spread. Now they want to do a needle biopsy. Research says the possibilities of spreading the cancer from the biopsy needle are high, lung collapse possibility, air escaping into chest cavity, medium. Have cancelled biopsy appointment for now. I think there are some alternatives out there. They are in such a rush to get me on the operating table....more invasive procedures. I'm going to do some reading before I make the next move.
To understand what I am talking about you have to read my first post. I guess I could have posted sooner but really didn't think about it. Its now been 4 months since surgery and yes things are better. I still get severe pain in my stomach at least once a week. What tees me off doctor doesn't believe me. So I just suffer until the episode is over. Bowel movements I can handle during the day but sleeping no control. I never had depression or anxiety attacks my whole life, never had a problem sleeping, always had all kinds of ambition. Days are ok but nights were awake living nightmares not sleeping ones. I would sleep for 10-15 minutes then up for a hour. lucky if I got 2 hrs a night. Finally a doctor prescribed xanax only for night .05mg usually around 11 or 12. The first night I actually slept all night and from there after. I tried not taking for one night, never again. I just wanted to fill in my progress. Lets go back to the original question. If I knew what I know now I would not had the surgery. If you know someone that need a colon resection and says no surgery, support them. Sure ask them their reasons and think in their view not yours. Now I am not talking about other types of cancer, just the cancer I had and many others have. Here are some of my reasons after my surgery. I also suggest anyone that is going to have a upper or lower anterior resection read read read. My doctor has a very good surgical rating so I trusted him and the oncologists. The problem, I was never misinformed but I was never informed on all the complication that go along with this type of surgery. Example was you will have 5 to 10 bowel movements a day. Well ok I said. He never told me I would have no control over my bowel movements. Never told me there could be a resection leakage into my stomach. Happens about 7 percent of the time. Never told me the amount of people that will have episodes of depression and anxiety attacks months after surgery and maybe never get control of their bowels along with many other problems. You can say I am mental for saying this but if I only read up on this surgery I would have had radition but would have refused surgery and take my chances for how ever many years I might have had left. Respect peoples wishes TOM in VT
Some people already have bad lives, some have pretty good lives but don;t like the physical trauma. The medical community as a whole is grateful for the majority that stick out the endless treatments, the trauma, and the pain and suffering. But I will not. It's quite amazing the look you get, not to mention the responses, when you just say No.
Trust me, there's no sympathy there. It's like telling your woman that her kids aren't perfect. Believe me, they'll turn on you in most cases, and you'll hope you die quicker. There's little peace in knowing that you're doing things your own way. I chose my own way, and yes, it's alienated everyone. So be it. I will not choose to live under certain conditions.
I agree with all the comments on this site. I was diagnosed with bladder cancer a year ago but had gross haematuria for 3years. I had one cystocopy and saw the tumour. I was booked in for the operation etc. However, I cancelled everything and, so far, have no pain and no regrets. People can't understand why I won't accept treatment but I know it's the right decision for me. I put my trust in God and accept whatever the future may hold. I can't help believing that all these cancer treatments are nothing short of being physical and emotional torture and patients serve as guinea pigs.
I don't think it's selfish. Honestly, it shouldn't be up to anyone but the patient. And also, I don't think it's right that people don't tell the patient of the disease. One more thing, I don't think parents should force their kids into treatment.
Thank you for sharing your experiences, they have all been a great help to me in realising a lot of things about this. You see, recently physicians found tumors in my mother's lungs and liver (she's 86 years old), and she doesn't want treatment any more. Some years ago she was diagnosed with breast cancer, and underwent successful surgery and chemotherapy. A few years later, she was diagnosed with cancer in her uterus, and so she had everything removed successfully. Now she's got these tumors in her lungs and liver, and she is refusing treatment. At first I didn't understand why she refused treatment, and I must admit that I didn't for the life of me understand why. Your answers have helped me in understanding that my mother want to feel as good as possible during her last time - I sure don't blame her after reading about your experiences, now. And now I also understand that undergoing surgery and/or chemotherapy can actually shorten my mother's life, it can make her suffer even more, or it can even kill her right away. So frankly - thank you very much for making me see, and thanks for making me understand my mother's choice. It is invaluable for me, and I really appreciate it. Now I really feel that I can do my best to support and help my mother during the rest of her life, instead of being a selfish dork who insist that she suffers through treatment, just for me to have a hope that she'll make it - when in reality the treatment will most likely make her suffer endlessly and die faster. I do not wish that to happen for anyone, least of all my mother. Thanks for making me see, and thanks for making me understand. I wish you all the best.
My dad has been told he has bladder cancer,he is 74 and has chosen not to have biopsy or any treatment,he feels that the minute they dabble with it or with treatment that will shorten his quality of life! He wants to try an live life to the best he can and let nature take it's course.At first I was like a loony trying to pursuade him to have biopsy etc,but when I actually took a step back I realised that yes I was being selfish cos I don't want to ever lose my dad,but I also tried to put myself in his place how this was to affect him mentally the affects of treatment and how do you live knowing what's coming.Now I totally support his decision,I know he will need more support as time goes on and I will do all I can to give that but from now I am taking each day as it comes and enjoying the time I have with him no matter how long that maybe.i would like to thank everyone for there posts as it has helped me too :)
I am so happy I found this. I'm a 36 yr old mother of a 7 and 9 year old. My son was born with kidney failure, we did dialysis at home for 3 yrs., and he received a kidney transplant almost 5 yrs ago, and has done well. At a recently diagnosed stage 3b melonama, my treatment options are lousy and while I want to live as long as I can to be here for my kids, how am Iiving and taking care of them with chemo or a trip 3 1/2 hours away every other week? I'm seriously considering refusing treatment, because I feel like it's already destroying me. The mental and physical of the diagnosis and surgeries have each taken a toll on the other. I do not want to live a life of more of that. My life was FINE before diagnosis, and I already feel defeated.
Not sure if anyone is still paying attention to each thread, but this discussion is incredibly insightful and I am so glad there are definitely people out there who disapprove of chemotherapy and radiation. However, I do have a question: as a girl whose mother is refusing to even see the oncologist because she automatically believes they will check her with unnatural methods and direct her to the treatment she hates (even though she hasn't even gone to one doctor in 20 years), how can I plead her to go? I don't think she is selfish in the detrimental sense... Every cancer patient has the right to, by the name, be self centered, but she is so unbearably proud and will not listen to any outside advice, even though we know fully well she is wasting her time. Is there any way I can force her to at least check on her condition? It's frustrating and upsetting not being able to even speak to the patient you personally care about, especially if she obviously has a personality disorder in addition to her breast cancer. I have this horrid contemplation of knocking her out to get a checkup, but of course that would be wrong... It's like we are all running out of time. Though it is the patient's own life, those who care about her also have a say, too, but what if the patient just won't listen? Please give advice. I am not ready for her to indirectly give up because of stupid pride.
Being sick of stomach cancer is like asking God to take your life and never return to earth again, i will pray and pray for God's mercies toward my life. Asking him to save and cure me from all this terrible disease or take my life. I can still remember being sick of Stomach cancer like it was yesterday. I was chronically ill for 11 years with stomach cancer, having undergo several chemo therapy, radiation and natural treatment due to the pain and suffering i endured, i had no choice but to try everything medicine that offer hope. I lost faith believing i was been punished and the doctor took the last hope that was with me. I would read a lot of articles online regarding the cannabis oil and it's miraculous work's on cancer patient's, having being my last hope, I was privilege to obtain the cannabis oil from the affiliated Rick Simpson team 8 months ago, after proper following of instructions by their medical doctor's on treatment after fulling obtaining the medication, I can proudly let my voice be heard by the whole universal that I have been saved by the Rick Simpson cannabis oil after 11 years of pains. I appreciate all the support my families and friends gave to me during this trying time of my life and to the Rick Simpson team, I am forever indebted to you all and would always support your organization in all ways of my life.
11 Years of Sorrow has turn into 5 months of total healing with the Rick Simpson cannabis oil, and am so grateful to God almighty for his mercy over my life as am now a dignified victory against stomach cancer. This is to let everyone out there know that they should never give up on God or themselves, no matter the situation in life, there is always a way out of it. Rick Simpson is a true Canadian Hero that deserve the Medal of honor.
After being diagnosed 15 years ago plus with the rare type cancer ,where it was first seen in liver as "spots" in ultra sound in 1997 and my then gastro doc said,don't think its cancer lets scan you every 6 months
I have been blessed to live all these years with this type cancer in my liver and other places..Yesterday with my quality of life still good [read I work part time and walk every day weigh 271 pounds] I turned down any type of treatment [ systemic chemo and or Chemoembolization [ TACE ] and clinical trial in favor of living my life as I do every day best I can which to my way of thinking I beat my cancer any day I do this. Living alone and not much support ,was also a factor as I can't let any treatment get me down and I may not get back up..THIS CANCER IS A KILLER FOR SURE as I have watched many friends in the states be as good as I am today and then the liver fails or ??? Even though it was a hard decision for me ..I have to consider my whole life as it is today .Cancer is just one part of my pie of life NOT ALL OF IT .I stay busy as I can and rarely think about my disease ,Yes I have been on same amount of pain meds for years turning down any increases to this day. we all have to choose WHAT WE THINK IS BEST FOR US as we are living it and no one be it family friends good docs etc are in our shoes of this life . I feel blessed and thankful for each day of my life and while making appointments at the cancer center I go too..Another lady was mad to have to wait for me to get done with all that.I heard her out there being stressed and upset .[she was with her dad who had cancer ] .I excused myself to use the rest room and found out later from my niece ,that upset lady told my niece AND THIS OLD FART HAS TO USE REST ROOM ! huh? what you talking bout Willis? she didn't know that was my niece and my niece waited to tell me until after we were on our way back home..i BUSTED OUT LAUGHING and for me HUMOR PLAYS A BIG PART IN MY LIFE AND HELPS ME BE HAPPY EACH AND EVERY DAY ,with a occasional losing a day to my disease be it reading scan report or making this decision .Today is a NEW DAY TO LIVE BEST I CAN NOW AND I AM OVER IT ALL FROM YESTERDAY. just saying ................... my suggestions to all cancer patients ,KEEP YOUR MIND AND BODY BUSY IF POSSIBLE DO NOT LET YOUR DISEASE STEAL DAYS FROM YOU IF THEY OTHERWISE ARE GOOD DAYS THANK YOU FOR STOPPING BY TO READ ME LIVING LONGER TO MAKE YOUR DAY OR SOMEONE'S
At the age of 35 in 2007 I was diagnosed with stage 3 papillary carcinoma. I decided at that time to undergo a total thyroidectomy and have several lymph nodes removed where the cancer had metastsized. I then followed up having RAI(radiation) with the highest allowable dose. Fast forward to 2016. I have never since my diagnosis of cancer had my health back.If anything, I have had a steady decline in health.I now have diabetes type 2, anxiety/panic attacks, I retain 20/40 pounds of fluid constantly , my vision is blurred, my cognitive has been affected , I have NO concentration, high blood pressure , RA , osteoarthritis , and the list keeps on going. My poor health has been the demise of a career in a field that I worked extremely hard to get into.I can tell you that initially I decided to go with treatment because I had young kids and I was young myself.Had I known then how poor my health would be today.I would have NEVER had RAI or surgery. I have been very vocal to my family about how I feel on this subject. If ever I am told that I am out of remission. There will be no more RAI or Chemo. I will refuse to take it. This is NO quality of life.
I am 68 and was just told I have 12 months to live if I do not have radiation and chem I have lung tumor 18 millimeter. After doing 100 plus hours of research I have decided not to get cut , burned and poisoned. I started dr Ludwig diet and now taking supplements to increase N K cells along with eating all alkaline good no acidic. I have ordered apricot seeds as there is great success with Laeltrile. I believe if we give out bodies what they need we can kill the cancer. I also listened to a 2 hour pitch from a radiologist trying to convince to to have the procedure and also informing me I would probably end up with other cancers in a year or 2 really no brainer radiation creates cancer. So I said no thanks and walked out the door. Jeep your on up no sugar meat or dairy and research cannabis seeds. Luck to all and remember life is a journey not a destination so you decide not the greedy medical field.
I was diagnose with breast cancer in 9/2015 against my better judgment I chose chemo. My first and only treatment was horrible on my body and my mental well being. My family wanted me to continue but I couldn't do it. I'm 37yrs old even though I had a mastectomy I refused to give my body anymore poison. I love life but I'm not afraid to die. Now that I have decided to stop conventional cancer treatments. I feel free and more at peace. Is it selfish? NO I feel comfortable with my decision and willing to deal with all that entails. I will not change my mind again. My family also came around. I love this website. I have been looking for months for people who feel just like me.
Definitely not selfish. I was diagnosed July 9 2015 with stage 2 lung cancer. I had the upper left lobe of my lung removed and surgeon said he got it all. Post op PET was clear and they still wanted me to do chemo I declined. Then out of no where Feb 7 2016 I saw flashes in left eye. In 6 weeks time I have totally lost 100% of my sight in left eye. They said they could fix me up with 20 RADIATION treatments I have had 17 and the tumor is still there behind my retina in left eye. And today I am told there is a fluid build up in my RIGHT EYE which is of "concern" and my ophthalmologist wants me to do chemo....well of course it's all they have left SURGERY RADIATION CHEMO THATS it that's all they know!! And it's been the same for 40 years plus I don't know but if I keep trying and trying to do something and ITS NOT WORKING I try something ELSE I'm just wondering when the AMA will quit acting insane and realise Cut Poison Burn doesn't work never worked and will never work. When 1 out of 16 people got cancer in 70's and today it's 1 out of 3 we are LOSING THE FIGHT...in fact cancer is kicking out American Asses and I wish more people would GET ANGRY AND GET HEARD and force the PHARMA INDUSTRY to actually research for cures and not just new chemo drugs that kill us anyway. IM scared I'm going to be blind now that there are "concerns" in right eye and after 17 radiation treatments I was told it is doubtful I will regain any sight in left eye and tumor isn't even gone!!!! I'm so mad and see my radiologist tomorrow as I have 3 more treatments left and I have a whole lotta questions he needs to explain
Dear Rick.,I was so ecstatic when Hanna sent us your email. For the first time in years i got some really good news: this lifted me up. It’s the best news I ever got in my life!!! I have suffered for years with so much pain of brain Tumor, but after the use of your oil. I am now CANCER FREE!! for months now after several test still FREE. Reach him directly via email: firstname.lastname@example.org for your oil. God bless you i was also amazed reading other people's testimony. God Bless you and Bless you
Your Sincerely Antonio
I think we should remember that doctors and drug companies make money off cancer treatments not cancer cures.
I fear my cancer is back. It is treatable with siX months of chemo followed by 5 weeks of DAILY radiation. I did this 12 years ago. I don't haveven in me again. I would have a somewhat high cure rate but I don't want to got to hell to come back to a life and world that is so hard. Not worth fighting for. I'd rather use my savings and do the things I love to do. I will know next week
I believe it is a person's own choice if they decide not to have treatment. But my brother's cancer has come back after 8 years of remission. The cancer was first in his throat and has come back attacking his pelvic bones with lesions spreading on his bones. He checked himself out of the hospital and has refused any treatment. So he is in my home with hospice. It is hard because I have young grandchildren in the home. My grand daughter (9 yrs, old) fixes his food and does anything that he asks. Is it fair for her or any of us to watch him slowly deteriorate? He fell a few days ago trying to go to the bathroom at 3am and busted his eye. I keep a urinal right next to him at times. The whole house was awakened up. I love my brother but this is really hard on all of us in the home. Do we call it fair because we love him?
I was the care giver for my father who received aggressive chemo and radiation treatment for a metastasizing melanoma. He was 72 at the time of his death. He went through months of often painful and debilitating treatment and the treatment did stop the metastasis. However, within days of finishing the treatment he died because one of the tumors eroded a blood vessel in his brain and killed him. I'm now several years older than my father at the time of his death. I have had and treated two cancers with a combination of surgery and radiation. I'm going in this week for another cancer screening and if a cancer is detected I have decided not to treat it. Is that a selfish decision? I don't think so. It certainly is personal, but I will not put my family through the trauma of watching me go through an aggressive course of care at this stage of my life. My most vivid memories of my father are those of his suffering through the treatment during the last days of his life. I don't wish that on my family.
In January a large lesion on my forehead was diagnosed as a basal cell carcinoma. I declined Moh's surgery and cured it myself, drawing on a discovery made at the University of Nevada School of Agriculture a decade ago. And it worked, that lesion was 99% gone within a week, 100% gone within eight weeks. This works for any type of cancer at any stage or grade. Be happy to explain if anybody is interested..
Hi Carsoncityrich, I am interested on your cure.
I regret treating my cancer. I will never be the same as before. It destroyed my marriage and family. Treating is not always the best course of action.
I was recently diagnosed with stage 3-4 breast cancer on both sides. I have decided not to get treatment. I am a mother of 3 children although my middle child has "gone home" My middle son had severe CP and an intractable seizure disorder, he was non-ambulatory, non-verbal, fed through a G-tube and later had a tracheotomy. And was the sweetest, most loving and made me realize each day how blessed I was to have him. But I was constantly in a state of either keeping him healthy or getting him over an illness. When I think of what I put him through in the name of preserving life I am ashamed. I do not want my two children here on earth who are 21 and 25 to spend one more minute in a hospital setting watching another person they love suffer. Just because we can does not necessarily mean we should. I have been told by my sisters that I am being selfish and self centered, if they knew how petrified I am at times.... I do feel like I have lived my usefulness, and I am so incredibly tired of fighting. Only my closest friend and my brother have been supportive and so kind, in fact it has been their kindness that has made me have moments of doubt in my decision because they have made me feel heard and not dismissed in judgement. I don't know if any of this makes sense. I am so grateful to have found people here that understand my decision.
I am really pleased to of come across this thread. over the years ive read many, This is the first time ive felt the urge to join in and get involved. Thank you all. I have been asking myself the very question - when is it time to say no more? I have been going through what seems like a constant regime of chemo, hormonal therapy and surgery over the past 12 years. I was diagnosed aged 29 with stage 3 breast cancer. my oncologist said i had 6 months before getting into serious trouble without treatment. And could be cured with treatment all being well. I reluctantly agreed to chemo, surgery and radio .. The reality of cancer felt very unreal to me. I didnt know much and information wasnt as readily available as it is now. ( to me anyway ) at that time. A tad in denial and a tad naive, looking back. After my surgery i was told that my cancer was larger ( the size of a tennis ball) than first thought and that i had a 70% chance of recurrence. Months later it was back. since then i have had three additional courses of chemo. Three different types of hormone tablets. with long bouts of stability. I have currently been on chemo for two years straight with my latest progression, today i was told that there is further progression and theyd like to switch me to another chemo. (One ive had before) I refused. My oncologist has given me a three week "break" in case i change my mind. I want to do everything in my power to fight and live as long as possible, but i now feel that its time to stop this line of barbaric treatments as quality of life is more important to me. I think treatment has played a huge role in my long term survival. But there is a time to stop. Are those who refuse treatment altogether selfish? A friend of mine was diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer and refused all medical treatment, she opted for the holistic approach along with rso and cbd oil. she survived for two years. i often wonder if she would be alive today had she of undergone treatment. The answer is, no one will ever know. The route we take is a very personal and individual choice. I have some regrets and yet i am still greatful.
I love this website! Many of you feel as i do.. i,m a 12 year survivor of breast cancer and diagnosed 14 months ago with early small cell lung cancer.. the really aggressive kind. I watched my bro go thru chemo and radiation 5 years ago.. very advanced stage 4, but he is alive and active, despite several severe after effects. After much thought, i declined treatment, knowing this cancer would only be postponed. I had a change of mind and did the radiation to relieve my breathing. I,m thankful i did that. My radiation oncologist was really pleased with end result.. destruction of a large right lung tumor. But all the docs have warned me of positive recurrence.. they just don,t know where in my body or how soon. Meanwhile, feeling. Great
having found numerous colon polyps. but not cancer. in my colon at age 39. I decided not to have them removed. because it would require surgery. having no children or close family members except my then 70 year old mother when I was neighbors with her. my mom unable to speak due to a stroke in 1997 and a partially paralyzed right hand. able to live alone. with help. I just hoped I would be around long enough to help her as mush as possible. I had to take over her financial affairs, bill signing, paper signing ect..despite her disabilities she had good health till the end. which came last May 24th 4 days short of her 82nd year. a 'simple' UTI turned to sepsis and septic shock and she was gone quickly. I remained close to my mom. despite the difficulty in communicating. it was found she had failing kidneys (no symptoms) an enlarged heart and three aortic anneuryms. had the uti not got her. any of the rest would have. my point being. if I have that many colon polyps (non drinker. non-smoker, basically healthy diet with lots of veggies an fruits) and I have them removed, they will just come back. so I will watching over my shoulder at all times. will I suffer the same fate as my parents? both had strokes. or is it to be cancer? I choose to let nature take it's course. I would refuse surgery and or chemo treatments. a few people I have spoke to find that puzzling. I do not. I turn 52 Tuesday and though I am not running to death. I just know I can't hide from it either. I had much loved parents and have got to do some things .travel and all. I wanted to.
Cearuilin ..though never had children and as I said no close family members. they would not miss me or need me. I feel as you do. I have outlived my usefulness except a skittish cat who is ten! if the day my MANY polyps turn to cancer so be it. if not. well here I stay until 'my time' I totally understand what you are saying.
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