What sort of refreshments should I have at a wake?

3 answers | Last updated: Oct 01, 2014
Conchetta126 asked...

What sort of refreshments should I have at a wake?

Expert Answers

This is an interesting question. And I think it has a simple answer: Whatever you want. A wake is a vigil, a time for watching over or being with the deceased before burial. Wakes are social events that almost always include refreshments, food and drinks. Alcoholic beverages are perfectly appropriate. It's also common for wakes to be pot-luck, with guests bringing food. This is especially true when the wake is held in a person's home, versus a funeral home. Some people serve food and drink the deceased would have liked. Some go for the easiest plan -- delivered pizza or store-bought deli trays. Be realistic about how much time you have to invest in the preparations, as well as your emotional state. There's no need to knock yourself out. Guests at a wake don't expect anything fancy or elegant. Finger foods and things to nibble are perfectly fine. Asking others to bring food is perfectly fine. And do me a favor, once the wake has begun forget about the food and be with the experience, enjoy it, feel it, share this often poignant time with others.

Community Answers

Dr.mom answered...

I didnt think they had food at a wake but after the funeral service in the church

Cmacp answered...

Interesting question indeed :-). Remember that even though this is a 'social' occasion, attendees do not expect to be entertained.

Remember to keep the stress level on yourself to a minimum. If it is affordable, have food brought in or catered. Pot luck is perfectly acceptable. Don't be shy about accepting offers of help from friends and neighbors. Keep your own responsibilities to a minimum. Grief has a way of catching one unawares. Our family wakes have ranged from cocktails and finger foods at a hotel, to sit down dinners at a local restaurant, to covered casseroles brought by neighbors to our house. One thing we have never done is expect family members to shoulder the responsibility themselves.