What can I do to protect our dogs from my husband's dementia related aggression?
My husband was diagnosed with frontal temporal dementia approximately 2 and 1/2 years ago at the age of 61. He has never been violent but he is easily aggitated and cusses alot. Recently, he has started yelling,kicking at, and swinging his walking stick at my house dogs, both which are under 10 lbs. (One is under 5 lbs.) I cannot bear to part with my dogs as they have been members of my family for 10 years and are a great source of comfort for me during these very difficult times; but if he makes contact with his boot or stick he could seriously injure or even kill them. I try to keep the dogs in the back yard on pretty days which does help keep them separated some, but they're house dogs and I can't leave them out all the time. Any suggestions?
Expert Answer
It is difficult enough to be the caregiver of a family member with Frontal Temporal Dementia (FTD) without the added anxiety of having to protect your pets. This must be so discouraging for you since caring appropriately for your husband will most likely mean putting your dogs in harm's way.
Hallmarks of FTD include aggressive behaviors that seem to have no reason and acting out inappropriately in situations with a kind of angry agitation that would never have occured before this daignosis. Your husband appears to be exhibiting these symptoms. There is little you can do short of referring to his physician for medications that will help control these negative behaviors. You could try one of this group of meds with the goal of using low dosage for a short time to see if it helps to control his negativity toward the pets. Trying to reason with him unfortunately will not produce the results you want so you need an alternative way to do the best for both hubby and doggies.
I would suggest that, until his aggression toward your pets is controlled, you try alternative placement for your dogs either with friends or family members or at a good kennel that provides short term 'vacations'. Once your husband's behavior becomes positive, the pets can return to you without fear of their demise.
I wish you well.