Should I go to my father's funeral if we didn't have a great relationship?

Moosemuffin asked...

my father made me sign over insurance claim money to him in 1968. i was a minor. he was a private school teacher retired navy. he bought a house with this money and i never lived in it. he rented out to low lifes who thrashed the house and never paid the rent and he also collected tax deductions from it. he was very intimadating and yelled at my mother and I. he never yelled at my brother. to make a long story short, he passed this week. should i go to the funeral? i don't want to. should i take my brother to court to get what is rightfully mine? he has poa as well.

Expert Answer

Rebekah Peoples, CFSP, CPC, Is a licensed funeral director and embalmer. She is passionate about serving others and believes that giving clients honest, accurate information empowers them to create tributes and services that are meaningful and appropriate.

This is not an easy situation. Please accept my condolences. There is quite a history with your father. Hopefully another expert such as a grief counselor or other mental health expert will respond to your concerns and also a legal expert who can address your court concerns.

As a funeral director however, I have had many people ask about attending a funeral of a relative you dislike. If you feel that you need to attend the funeral or visiting hours, feel free to do so without the obligation of having to stay longer than you feel comfortable. If you feel the need to spend time with your father but don't want to attend the public services, call the funeral director. He/she can suggest a private time when you can go to the funeral home to have some time alone with him to pay your respects and find some resolution. This involves some very personal feelings; may you find peace in this matter.