Would things get worse if we move against my husband's wishes?

3 answers | Last updated: Sep 14, 2016
Lomeincat6 asked...

My husband has short term memory loss, my children want us to move closer to them. 1hour away. He refuses. Would it make him worse if I just move us against his wishes



Community Answers

Paz2u answered...

You do not say if your husband has Dementia. In my experience change causes upset for those with Dementia. However, you have to consider your needs if he has Dementia this will progress and you may need the help of your children. This is a stressful disease to face alone.


Ca-claire answered...

This is something that you need to evaluate, as you have the day-to-day experiences with your husband. Does your husband still drive? If so, he may drive back to your old home by mistake and be confused because his keys don't work. Does he remember that he answered you 'No' on the question already? If not, move. You will need your children's assistance very soon, if not already. Will you be moving into an assisted living facility, purchasing a home, renting a small home? Will you sell your old home, or keep it as a rental? How much of your household will fit in your 'new' home? Will you have to store things? Weed out things? Donate things? Is your husband able to make decisions and remember that he made decisions? You said 'my children' rather than 'our children' - are there existing problems between your husband and your children? In the end, you will need to do what works for you. Your husband wakes up to a whole new world everyday. In the short term, it may be difficult for him, but it in the long term it may help you see that his decline is more than what you currently realize. Wish you all the best in a difficult situation!


Lomeincat6 answered...

My husband says he will like to drive but when I suggest it to him he says no. He likes me to drive. He cannot take the car alone because there is no key and he does not know how to start it. The 3 boys are ours. As of now I guess he is still the same. He asks the same question a few times. I had a problem in my house, had a worker here and he forgot why he was here and who he was. It's very hard for me to face this. He was a NYPD officer for 20 years and so strong mentally and physically. I wonder if short term memory loss is called dementia. Thanks so much for listening to me and your advice.