Where can someone receive help for caring for their ex-husband?

1 answer | Last updated: Sep 14, 2017
Tinaspears 1985@yaho asked...

I am asking this for a friend but I can get her to contact you she has been paying for her X-huband to be in the nursing home for about six or seven months she is no longer married to him. He had an anurisum bust in his head about twelve years ago. He has some land and I talked to her and she is really not sure what he has in his name but she is just about out of money. I told her if she is devorced from him then she should not be responable for his care he should be able to get medicare or medicaid or something. I really feel she should be able to get some kind of help because she is no longer married to him. Please let me know if there is anything that she can do. She has done all she can for so long. I can give you her information to contact her if you need it. Or you can call me and I will let you know.

Expert Answers

Kay Paggi, GCM, LPC, CGC, MA, is in private practice as a geriatric care manager and is on the advisory board for the Emeritus Program at Richland College. She has worked with seniors for nearly 20 years as a licensed professional counselor, certified gerontological counselor, and certified geriatric care manager.

Your friend is going the extra mile by caring for care for her ex-husband. While she deserves extra credit, she probably will not get it, at least no financially. Any property her ex has is his alone, and she has no share in it. So if she ha used her personal funds to pay for his care, that is money gone that she will not be re-compensated for. She needs to stop paying for his care, unless she is financially well off.

She should explain to the nursing home that she will not longer pay for his care. There is a social worker there (it is the law that there is one) who can arrange a payor source. They will not put him under a bridge; that is illegal. The facility must find a way to pay for his care at their place, or arrange for him to go to a facility that accepts Medicaid. Your friend need not help with paperwork. She can, if she wants to, but she does not have to do this.

They are no longer legally connected. Anything she does is voluntary. Encourage her to protect herself.