I'm starting to feel abused by being a caregiver. What can I do about it?
It certainly sounds like you need to shake things up with this friend, in terms of expectations and I can understand how tricky this may be. I think it's time for some tough love. You need to tell your friend straight out that you can't be her primary caregiver, you have all kinds of other things going on in your life. It sounds to me like she needs a paid home caregiver. At 48, she's not a senior yet, but as someone who is sick and disabled she may be eligible for caregiving support. I think the best starting point would be a hospital social worker from the facility where she's receiving treatment. She can also contact her local Medicaid office, which is probably the county. Maybe you can offer to help her find help, in a session or two of phone calling, while making it very clear you can't provide ongoing assistance. I'd include her family members in this dicscussion, as best you can. You're not passing the buck; you're simply trying to share or redistribute the load; a sensible approach. Best of the luck with this situation.
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