How do you get someone to go to a nursing home?

Gordonlarry asked...

How do I get my 90 yr old mother to go to a nursing home when she refuses? She sold her home a while back and the apartment complex asked her to leave as she is very disruptive and dangerous behind the wheel. Texas just gave her a new driver's license.

Expert Answer

Donna Quinn Robbins is the author of Moving Mom and Dad and On the Road of Life, Drive Yourself. She helps individuals, families, retirement communities, and corporations make successful transitions. Robbins is an active public speaker on the topic of senior transition services and has appeared on NBC's Today Show.

It is imperative you find a social worker who specializes in geriatrics as soon as possible. It sounds from your question as if your mother does not need a nursing home but an assisted living community; a geriatric social worker can evaluate her and help you know for sure. Even if she still refuses to move, a geriatric social worker can help you gain a better understanding of the situation and what the options are.

You haven't mentioned if your mother's mental state has been evaluated by a doctor, or if you have discussed the problem with a professional. Sometimes "disruptiveness" is due to early stage dementia or depression, so you should have your mother evaluated for this as well.

Don't wait too long to find a social worker. You could call the Family Care Alliance and ask for a referral, or your local Area Agency on Aging.

If your mother truly is a danger on the road, you may also need to go to the DMV and discuss the situation with them as well.