My mother has had dementia for several years now..
Yes at first she remember her anger outbursts but not the reason for it she would say she was so sorry and she didn't know why she did it...Then later she knew she had done something wrong and i would talk to her and try to reassure her..
That was then, now about a year later she has unbelievable rages. During these episodes she believes everyone is against her and scheming behind her back..
She is now in a nursing home, I had to take care of her for two years and it just got worse and worse, she followed me about everywhere, even the bathroom, she called me at least four times a night, I just couldn't do it any more.
Now even in the nursing home they have to send for me when she flips, I still have to put her to bed because she won't let them do it and will become violent. Through the years of caring for her I know what to do and what not to do.
1. Never tell her she is wrong
2. Agree with everything
She has come up with some unbelievable ideas, she has told me that the nursing staff had beaten a baby and hid it behind the nurses station....that they have locked her in a room all day and not given her anything to eat, people have come into her room and stolen all her money and stuff..
OK what do i do to calm her???
When she first started this i would try to talk her through it ,make her see how silly the things was she was saying.. she would, after a long time realise how wrong she was and would be so sorry, she even would cry.
Now i find that as her condition worsens this does not work, she now cannot see how ridiculous the things she is saying are...I have found, though time, that if i agree with her and fix whatever she thinks is wrong she calms down and after and hour or even two she has forgotton all about it
For instance...when she thought the nursing staff were hurting a baby and hid it behind their station, i told her i took the baby away to a safe place and she was content, i just had to keep reassuring her that i had saved the baby.
Last night she had her usual one..someone had stolen all her things, ..what i did was go and get them back ...show her items she thought were missing and told her i got them back and everything was now ok
When she is beyond all that i try to talk about something else, this is very difficult when she is in full rant...had to laugh one night when i tried to talk about my kids, she loves children, and in full rage she said '**** the children do i look as if i have time for them i have find my stuff'.
Its can very hurtful sometimes but i find if i keep cool, laugh a lot and try to make her see the funny side of things i can take her around.
my favourite thing to say is 'you either laugh or you cry'.
Its a soul destroying disease, the person you love is changed beyond anything you could ever imagine but remember somewhere in there is the person you remember and love