Mother has always had some issues, mostly feeling jealousy and being envious of others who had more than her. Dad died in 2008, I swore he did it to get away from her. She was selfish, but now that she is suffering from Alzheimer's and dementia at 88, she is unbearable for her family and even the former friends in the nursing home. She spews hate and anger like there is nothing good in anyone, any thing or any place. Like her former selfishness if she is unhappy she wants to move. She refuses to grasp that none of her kids (72, 68,and 66) have the strength or good health to deal with her. Mother is paralyzed on her right side. She always begs for therapy then quits the day it makes her uncomfortable. Her mantra is whine about each of her kids, how much she hates the home, how bad the food is ( she weighs over 210 pounds) and money. My brother is her primary care giver. God bless him this is hard on him. She lies when it suits her purpose, cries like a baby then flips out if it doesn't get the desired results. She is a master manipulator and tries her best to keep everyone around her in a state of agitation towards her, or towards others. It is as if she is so filled with hate she wants the world to be as hateful as she is. I have finally gotten to the point I seldom call her. Oh, I want to call and say I love you, but that is not what she wants to hear. Everyone that knows Mother tries to stay away from her. Even the nurses at the home catch hell, and especially my brother. His wife refuses to go. My mother has been abusive and still is to her, verbally and it never stops. In the 53 years she has been married to my brother my mother has never, not once said "I love You" to her and it makes mother sick to say thank you to her for the many favors she has done for mother.
No person wants to hate their mother, or be angry with them all the time. I feel sorry for her being trapped in her body, unable to move or do anything for herself. I hate it that she suffers, has pain. On the other hand she refuses to what the doctors tell her will help relieve the pain. Once in a blue moon I am able to perform a miracle and get her to talk about the past, her past mostly, and get some laughs and comments about happier days. I pray for her every night. If God cannot heal her body then I ask Him to heal her heart and soul. I could call her every day except when I tried it was like a broken record of whining, self-pity, hate, total negative, ugly words that are 100% untrue about some of the nicest people I know. My brother went to visit two or three hours a day. He goes for an hour or less now to visit and often leaves after she starts the replay of the anger, blame and negative stuff each time. She is a total lunatic if they take the medicine away for Alzheimer's off. Some times I wonder if it is better that she doesn't have it and doesn't know where she is or who we are anymore. She was beautiful once, she loves new clothes, good food, fine things for herself. She is only happy in micro moments on any given day. God bless those who are in the home or work there. Those sparkling blue eyes can pierce your soul with looks of hate and scorn like no others. The Alzheimer's /dementia is a nasty disease and the symptoms of anger are horrible. It is torture for not just the afflicted but all who deal with the person afflicted.