My elderly parents want to take a road trip - how can I stop them?

2 answers | Last updated: Nov 19, 2016
Cherylb asked...

My parents are 79 and 81, and not in the greatest of health. They live 1000 miles away, and want to DRIVE to our home for the Jewish holidays. I have registered my negative opinion, told them I would even pay for their plane tickets. They each blame/credit the other one for their decision, and refuse to back down. Money is not the issue. The reason they are using is that my Dad wants to "get it out of his system" to do such a road trip (they always go by air). How should I handle this? Help!

Community Answers

A fellow caregiver answered...

I am in my 70s. Not in great health. BLESS My kids for leaving me to live my life as if it is my life. Yes an accident or death is possible at anytime. What is important is living. Left as if we are still human, with the dignity of making our own choices. I let my children live their own life. Often I speak up and say what "may" happen. Then they make their own choice. Now that I am older the love me enough to let me do what I need to for me. Including making wrong choices.

It was hard for the children on many levals. Age is seen by society to hold the children responsible for letting the old walk cross country by herself. Yes! I did that. It was great. I had time just for being responsible just for myself. Now I live as a hermit in the wilderness for the last seven years. Doing just as I pleased I learned to be greater in my own eyes. Now I am living with my daughter helping her care for her new baby. She is a single mom with lots of issues in health. Then there is the time I painted a 3 story house and was told I was to old. My response was: I will decide when I am to old. I was 60 then. Old is when we cave in to being treated like brain damaged idiots, which is a type of death in itself and the beginning of an earlier death by letting go.

Kate1924 answered...

My husband and I are 91 and 88 and we are currently planning a roadtrip from our home in S. Cal to my sons in central Oregon. We will be gone about 8 days and are looking forward to being "on the road again". We are currently packing and would appreciate any helpful suggestions.