How can we pay for a caregiver to relieve Mom?

Hiring a caregiver to help at the skilled nursing facility with your dad is certainly an option. "¢ Begin discussing the situation with the social worker at the facility and understanding any issues or constraints that the facility has. Identify the issues that the facility may see. Ordinarily your mom should not have to go to the facility to care for your dad. The facility should be able to provide all of the medical care.
"¢ If you wish to pursue the caregiver option the social worker may be able to recommend some agencies that they have worked with previously and have recommendations of an excellent caregiver to work with your dad. The costs of these services vary so ask about options and learn how to maximize your funds. If there are special discounts the social worker would know how to access them. "¢ Also discuss with the staff the best time to have someone assist your dad other than your mom. For example, when does your dad have a bath and other services for which the facility is actively engaged with your dad? "¢ After you have done all your homework, discuss the options with your mom. This may be where you experience the greatest impediments. As tired as your mom is, she may feel that it is her duty to be with your dad. She may have concerns about the quality of care, previous bad experiences, etc. You will need to listen to her concerns and work with these. There are many articles on this website about the issues that caregivers face and statistics about how they ignore their own issues to care for their family member. Be well prepared to have this conversation. Caring for your dad may have become your mom's purpose in life and she may not easily be able to give up on this. Help her to see your concern about her well-being.

Your goal of getting help to relieve your mom is an effort worth pursuing.