Oh my. So i lost my brother november 11 2015. Like a week ago. I am his younger brother of 22 and he 24. My brother had asperger syndrome but was relatively normal socially. He was overweight. Rocked a mullet. Carrying books with him everywhere, like vampire books or like star wars or little house on the prarie. Lived at my grandpasto take care of him. The sweetest guy. Hungout in his room by himself while he netflix, read eat and gameboy all at the same time. Also he loved me more than anyone and actually looked up to me, as i him, even tho he was older. He told me i was his best friend. Me and him against the world he said. I was very nice to him and grew up with him, school, work(our dad owns a tire store). He would want to go to movies and would pay for me. He took me to california n florida with alot of his own saved money. Talked about future vacations. All of my friends were his friends throughout my life including 5 or more different groups of friends, he was welcome to anything. He was smart but kind of like a big child i geuss. We took care of each other. He was my only brother. Im devastated. He drinks sometimes but just at home by himself, sometimes he pees on the floor from being so drunk and i would wake him up and tell him to shower and he wouldnt, the alcohol really affected him. Hes had a dui as well. Throughout a couple years i see him getting drunk and i try to stop it. My dad is so strict kinda, and he put him in treatment but he started again. Another year or two passes and carson is drinking often, its kind of a usual thing i would tell him to cut it back all the time. I dont really drink much actually, i smoke weed. Any ways he wouldnt stop, he would deny it, pee on the floor, put vodka in milk to hide it. I mean, it was kinda bad but he wouldnt listen. We didnt fight about it at all really, i loved him and he loved me. He would also get more emotional and violent when drinking and not make sense. I tried helping him alot alot. But one week ago, my brother had been drinking..and long story short, he fell and hit his head in the bathroom then landed in the tub on his chest, suffacating from his weight. My brother Carson died. I saw his body the next morning (he didnt show up to work so my dad got me and felt like there was a problem). I spent morw time with him than anybody in my life. I am sofa king sad. Im a male btw and i dont think much comes close to a brother losing his only brother who was simple and sweet and loved me sooo much. He wasnt just a normal person that was selfish and got girls and nice cars, clothes, music. He was a nice guy with a few problems i geuss but everybody at school didnt make fun of him they actually thought he was super funny and cool, etc. But yeah he died from a fall., a freak accident. I am taking this super hard although its only one week. I can feel my own mortality, deppression, i am sick right now like a flu because of my sadness(sadness makes your immune system weaker). I believe in god and believe hes in heaven after reasurrance from compassion i felt when i prayed. But it was a tragedy worse thing ever. We were so close. I spent more time with him than anybody in my life. His funeral video, i was in almost every picture. Boating, camping, fishing, hunting, , WSU games, work, with different family, vacations, etc. My family is super sad and crying too and 300+ ppl went to his funeral. I didnt actually really cry at his funeral. But when im alone or near ppl im close to i cry frkin hard sometimes. Everyday. Man this sucks. Our entire future was laid out together and after he passed, half my life has been carved out of me. I will be fine eventually and am at times.