How do we convince our parents that they need to move so we can care for them?

2 answers | Last updated: Nov 25, 2016
Dottie-1 asked...

My parents refuse to move and insist that my sister and I move in alternately to take care of them. Both of them have health problems that are getting progressively more serious. My sister and I both live several states away and are married. Our parents think we can leave our husbands for three months at a time to care for them. They become angry when we suggest that they move close to one of us and insist that the only answer is one of us being with them. My sister is saying she will go live with them, leaving her husband behind. I feel we should be united and refuse to leave our families and homes. Help!



Community Answers

Only son answered...

After my mother passed from alzeimers in 2006, my wife and I decided we did not want to continue to live in Las Vegas,(which is spanish for "hell".  I been there with them for 14 years. My wife is from Colorado & we decided in 2007 to move back. We asked my 83 yr old father to move with us, but he refuses. He is in fairly good health, bowls twice a week on a league, has friends, and spends a lot of time & money in the casinos. He has been angry with me now going on almost 2 years for leaving him. He mainly wants someone to drive him to doctors appts. My cousin, his neice, lives near him and takes him sometimes. She is also mad at me for leaving. I need my own life with my wife. I talk to him every couple of weeks, and mention moving in with us, but its the same old song, how ungratefull I am as an only son. Should I have choosen between my wife & father. Guilt is a major part of my life now trying to be happy in this beautiful state..  (sorry I answered a question with another question, but they sounded alike.)  Any Advice??

 

 

 


Oneslycrook answered...

Do what you can to let him know you love him and are interested in his well-being. Visit periodically and check on him on a weekly basis. You are entitled to your own life. Having one doesn't make you uncaring.