Wow, At first I thought my answer may sound a little harsh,to those other "family members", but as I can see by reading , anyone that has been in our shoes has the same opinion as I do!
My Dad has been with me over 2 years now, he came to live with me after a house fire, so all he had was some donated clothes and his retirement checks. At first he used a walker, broke his hip over a year and ahalf ago and has been wheelchair bound since then. He has had several mini strokes since being here,( before moving in with me he had had 3 major strokes and several mini ones) his last one was last Sunday. I had to feed him for 2 days, he lost complete use in his right hand and has very little strength in his left.
To make a long story short I have 4 sisters, one use to come about every 6 weeks and give me a weekend off, she hasn't done that since last Sept. One has come 2 times in the last 2 years to give me a night off. The oldest and youngest have not helped care for him at all. My Dads younger sister, who is not in the best of health comes on Wed. mornings to sit with him so I can shop.
My sisters rarely call and if they do I have decided I no longer offer information about Dad unless they ask how he is. 3 have internet but don't even send emails or messages saying "Hows Dad!"
So when I have a decision to make about my dad, I make it, I tell his sister, since she does help and leave it at that. If my sisters want to know they can ask. They can pick up the phone and talk to him but no. He has dementia, but if for nothing else call and talk to him to show ME you care, is how I feel about it.
I do have Power of attorney over finances and health issues, and at first I called them about every little decision, but when I told them he had a Doctors appointment on such and such date, they never called to see how it went. So I decided when they want to know something they can call and ask.
So, there is my vent, I don't know what the situation is with the one who asked this question, but by reading the replies, we all assume she is in the same situation we are, and she has my prayers and I say,,, Go Girl"!!!!