Hi Roger T. Congratulations on your reaching out for advice. You are a wonderful son to try to work with your parents while their health is out of their control. Your Mother probably doesn't want to be separated from your Father - very common if they have been married 'forever'. You might be able to find an answer in Assisted Living. Nursing home or Skilled Nursing Facilities (SNFs) can be cold and clinical.
Assisted Living could house them both in the same apartment, with their own furniture (or at least some of their own furniture), and the facility caregivers would do what is currently wearing you out.
If Assisted Living in your area is too expensive, check out Board and Care homes in your area. A lot of the time, spouses may be there living with their loved one, and receiving care themselves.
Call both types of places, go visit them by yourself first, ask to have a meal there to see what the food tastes like to you. If the food is so-so - RUN. Food is very important to seniors, and if it's so-so to you, they will hate the place. A lot of times, you can eat a meal or two free as part of the marketing program. Talk with people in the community or Board and Care home - see if they like it. Watch how the caregivers interact with their residents - it's important.
Best wishes to you - get some assistance before you burn yourself out! If they insist they must stay in their own home, hire a caregiver to take care of the nighttime for you, so you can sleep.