Can Mom be "kicked out" of assisted living?
My mom has been in assisted living for about six months and has it in her head they can "kick her out". Can they? She wants to ask for some things such as sitting with a friend at dinner, different outings and a whirlpool schedule? Can they kick her out for wanting change?
I have never heard of someone being kicked out of an assisted living facility simply because he or she requested changes like the ones you describe. Demanding that these changes be honored and disrupting the environment in some way to ensure that they are, is something else. Behavior like this may be construed by the facility as a breach of the contract and if this is the case, I would not be surprised if a resident was asked to leave.
To resolve this I would do two things:
1) Review the contract that was signed when your mother moved in to see if it references anything related to a resident's right to request changes. If you don’t find an explicit answer;
2) Consider contacting the facility's administrator yourself to shield your mother. Explain that your mother has made a good friend and that you’re wondering if it would be possible for the two of them to sit together at dinner. If the person seems helpful to you, mention the other two requests and see what the response is.
These changes seem minor to me and I would hope that the facility would be very willing to accommodate them. Assisted living facilities are not cheap after all. If this particular facility would prohibit a resident from making small changes that could enhance her quality of life I would seriously question whether it is worth the money.
I have seen the process of a resident being kicked out of an assisted living facility. The family of the resident was devastated.
For my situation, I know that the assisted living facility contract does in fact have several clauses in it that do specify in what situations a resident may be asked to leave ("terminate their residence"). Most of of the reasons for this have to do with disruptive behavior, dangerous behavior, or the resident not meeting residency requirements for the facility as defined by the state.
Based on what your mother wants to ask for I don't see that she would be kicked out. She's just asking to be an active part of the community and make friends, which most places welcome.
I very much agree with Ms. Lipani - you should advocate for your mother, assure her she perfectly fine to ask for what she wants, and encourage her to speak up for herself. (I know some of us have elderly mothers who have never done that for themselves so they now seem lost and uncertain about it at this stage of their life).
If you do in fact find the facility is not agreeable to improvements for your mother you absolutely should consider a different facility for your mother.
Best of luck to you and your mother, and take care of you as well as her.
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