Infographic: The Many Roles of the Family Caregiver
If you're caring for an elderly loved one, you're not alone! On a single day, you may assume several roles to make sure your loved one is living life to the fullest. We're here to remind you to take time out for YOU. Your much-needed break may be right around the corner.
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I would like to be my mother's home health care provider. Where do I begin?
Caring.com, thank you for everything. You're a blessing. I've been in all those roles. I love my mother so much, I just want the best for her.
I do believe the hospice nurse has hit on the answer. People are so self involved that they have forgotten the concept of caring for their family , neighbors and friends in need. It has become a sorry stituation if you are not wealthy or qualify for Medicaid you are on your own totally if your family or friends will not assist. Stay strong and remember your doing your best and it is what it is do not beat yourself up to maintain perfection at this period in your life. God Bless all caregivers.
I am my husband's only caregiver. I have been doing this for five years. This is a second marriage we met through friends we were both divorced for several years. I worked all the years we have been married and we lived in my property. His sons act like I stole him away from them. I was his third wife. They ran off his second wife. I think they were abusive and greedy with their own mother who is very soft. Anyway, I finally had to order them out of our lives due to their involvement with drugs. I do everything for him. Now my daughter and her husband the only child I have in a 600 to 2,000 mile radius tries to tell me how inadequate I am as a caregiver. I am a retired nurse. I am an RN. She is an LPN that I helped get through the program and I must say she is good but. Anyway if I try to tell her how my life is at a stand still because it all up to me she gets very rude and so does her spouse. When she had her children I drove to her house 60 miles away stayed over to assist her. I helped pay for her courses when she lost her job of 15 years during the recession. I think she feels guilty that she really does not want to do anything in return for my husband and I. They treat his mother like gold. I have always been fairly independent. My children's father left us years ago. My other 2 children are trying to help me resolve some of the issues of dementia. We have been brain storming together but she refuses to participate. I am seriously thinking for changing my will so if I do survive and have anything left she is on her own. Then there are days she will call me up and say I want you to take care of yourself because you are my stability. Yet, there is never any kindness coming from her unless there is something she needs. My sister and mother were this way toward me too. They were also abusive. My mother passed but I cut my sister out of my life for my own sake. My grandmother and father were salt of the earth people , kind and caring but not these three. I cannot understand why my daughter is being abusive and demeaning to me when I have been her rock. My family dynamics are foreign to my thinking. I have to spend most holidays with them since they are in a 60 mile radius of our home. I would go to my other daughters if I could because she is kinder. Am I wrong for thinking of just eliminating them out of my will? Of course now you may have nothing left. They are no comfort to me.
I have three elderly parents that I care for in different ways . No financial compensation . I do it out of love lor them..
Having just stumbled upon this site I am pleased to say that I like it. I have been caregiver who has at one time or another fulfilled all of those roles. As a matter of fact I am the Caregiver for my Husband who has end stage Renal failure. I transport him back and forth for his dialysis treatments. It is not always easy but I think about the alternative and I choose this because in 2012 he was not expected to live. I have learned that each day is truly a gift from God and that we have to cherish each day as it comes.
I am a companion, The Love of my life just received his ICD Last Thursday, I was with him every step of the way. I need to know how long after his surgery can he be left alone. I have been off work since last Thursday caring for him... I just don't want to leave him too soon and no one told me when it was okay for him to be completely independent. Can I safely leave him home alone on day five after surgery?
I'm also becoming chauffeur and gardener, as well as butler, since I help my husband dress.
During the last eight years, I have been my husband's Primary Caregiver, as well as (during the last year) my mom's Part-Time Caregiver. I have seen the HARSH REALITY of the American Healthcare/Social Services system. ObamaCare has brought about sweeping changes.....unless the patient qualifies for FULL MEDICAID BENEFITS or, has VAST FINANCIAL RESOURCES there is VERY LIMITED ASSISTANCE for the patient, much less the voluntary family caregiver.
This article was very good and helpful. I so love reading the comments of caregivers to their family members to know I am not alone. I am also a caregiver to my spouse and we married a second time late in life. We only had four great years before the change of dementia invaded our beautiful life...it was so short and I grieve for the loss of our relationship now. Four years ago my husband changed over night it seemed...instead of the Caring, kind, loving man who cherished me that I married....he became a monster and would yell at me over everything, constant questions and accusations of affairs or spending money without his knowledge or talking about him on the phone to my family....etc. etc. etc. and it went on for 4 years while I sat so to speak with my mouth open and wondering where my husband went and this man came into our home! I planned to leave him several times before I knew what was wrong! He made things up about me and my family and refused to visit with me to my family and fought me to go alone...I had to fight my way through as my mother was 80 and I knew I would not have her forever...so I fought through on that and visited her for 5 years each birthday. She just left us two weeks ago...and I am thankful for that fight! He has now progressed into quiet, withdrawn and just what he wants to do and only driving familiar places. Very little social interactions and to encourage more only brings on fights and angry words. He makes appointments and unless they give us a reminder call he won't go...he forgets them and if I remind him he gets mad...so I walk on eggshells most of the time...I do work at caring for myself and this is one way of releasing by writing this, I have began to share more with friends who know us well and I depend on his sister to be here when I visit my children and grandchildren every 6-8 weeks for a few days. It is doable but we do have to arm ourselves with knowledge, the mercy and grace of God and whatever we need to take care of us well!! God Bless us All!
I do all the caregiving roles. Im the only person here except for my spouse. Which has diabetes n neurathpy real bad in his feet n hands. But he helps a lot when he can. Hes done more for my dad than my dads other 2 kids. I guess god has chosen us caregivers.Never thought of it that way.
i really liked this article...it was extremely helpful. i play a lot of c.g. roles but some i do not. i do have a question...my mom has chronic pain in 1 part of her body or another every day now...the pain is unpredictable and the pain medication that worked best for her to manage it has been taken off the market and is no longer available in the U.S. a lot of times i can see that she hurts too much and is too tired to go on doing everything for herself however, she will not stop and then complains...rants ...rages...i am uncomfortable around her when this happens...if i go away into my part of the house ...sometimes her feelings are hurt but i feel i need to protect myself from her bad moods. i am sure this is all normal...but i would like some advice in how to help her w/ day to day life w/ out her noticing and getting upset w/ me for trying to help her because she is fiercely independent and her goal in life is to keep moving as is mine however i believe in interdependence.
I am a hospice RN now turned full time primarily home bound patients. In the last several years there was a new phenomenon in caregiver role, one that I too understand. There is no family, they are deceased, the family is fragmented or dysfunctional. An unexpected illness, cancer or disease suddenly spirals a single individual who has lost functionality and independence into the horrifying reality they are their own caregiver. This may sound a little bizarre to some but was happening significantly higher numbers. Personally I have experienced that when asking for assistance from church, and friends many freeze at the thought of illness or one being down that has been healthy and vital. Some act as though you didn't say anything or they didn't hear anything, even when the information or request is repeated. It is painful but I conclude it is their own self concern, self interest that many have lost the concept of caring for neighbor, family and friend. The statistical information about someone who is a compromised care giver having no choice but struggling to provide care for their loved on. What I have seen is the caregiver then ends up in fatal demise and sometimes passes before a hospice patient.s =
my husband's 90 year old Mom is living with us for a while. I have never been very close to her, but in her dementia state she is loving, sometimes over the top...always wanting to hug...loves everything and everybody. Doesn't remember much....but still has ability to feed herself, bathe, and do alot for herself. She just cannot live alone because she has lost most of her short term and I think a lot of long term memory. She repeats the same 4 or 5 stories everyday....in the same situations. She asks the same questions of me over and over even 4 or 5 times in a 5 min. period. She was not as happy in her non-dementia state, so we are feeling blessed that she does not have the meanness that I have read about. I am wondering how far into Alzheimer's is she. How fast does it progress? She can still walk pretty good and loves company.
i have been caregiver for my mom for 4 yrs. Im exhausted and sometimes think i cant do it another day. she is in the beginning stages of Alzheimers and has several medical issues. To make it worse, she has several other children in the immediate area who do not even visit, let alone provide any assistance. but as someone mentioned earlier, God must have chosen us for a reason! and i am blessed to still have her with me! So chin up caregivers, we can do it!
Hello Patti, Thank you for reaching out to Caring.com for assistance. I am sorry to hear of your client's Alzheimer's. Caring.com's Senior Care Directory | http://www.caring.com/local may be a resource that you and your client will find helpful in looking for in-home care. If you are looking for housing options, Caring.com's Family Advisors are available to assist. They can be reach 7 days a week by phone at 1-800-325-8951. If I can provide you with additional resources plus let me know.
A Client of ours is needing assistance for his wife that is in advancing stages of Alzheimer's disease. He wants her to be at peace but doesn't know where to turn for assistance. She is starting to not recognize him on some days and she doesn't want anyone in their home but that may not be feasible.
i need assist with daily living!
I've been the raving, ranting lunatic, becoming unglued when I'm asked for the 5th time on Tuesday if we're going to church tomorrow. I think I'm getting to the point of acceptance and remain calm when the same question I just answered is asked again. I'm doing a little better day by day.
My husband has cidp and can do very little. It is an emotional roller coaster. I am the caretaker and it is overwhelming. Some days I am so tired and sad. Taking care of yourself is important but I find myself not doing it. Home Health comes in which helps him some with speech and some pt. An aide helps him with bathing. He is incontinent so that is a major problem. I just ask God for courage and patience. I had just retired when he became ill. Our plans have certainly changed. To everyone who is a caregiver remember God must have chosen us for a reason.
Anyone out there a caregiver for a loved one with Cerebral Amyloid Angiopathy? (CAA) Cousin to Alzheimers, causes brain hemmorage. My wie has had her second brain hemmorage stroke in six years, paralysis, emotional delusions, mood swings, anger, fear, etc. Still in hospital but coming home soon..Hope that we can cope..
Being the primary care giver. I have to endure it all... Dad, God rest his soul looks down on Mom and I, and his presence guides me....
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